The Wounded
by ReeraTheRed
Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over, but happy endings are harder than that. Alarmed by Snape's behavior, Lupin is forced to impose a strange kind of therapy on his friend. Can being transformed into a creature with a simple heart heal a damaged spirit? AU now.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 1

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: September 12, 2003

Rating: PG13 – SUICIDE ATTEMPT, general angst

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Every character you recognize is the property of J.K. Rowling. I'm just having fun with her world and her wonderful characters.

Acknowledgements: Big Thanks to my friends Patti and Michelle for beta-reading (they've also approved the general plot, too).

Author's Note: This is a sequel to Practically Brothers (which, if you don't want to read it, establishes a friendship between Lupin and Snape, after the events in Book 5). So, yes, there are:

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX SPOILERS

This deals with fairly intense emotional relationships, a suicide attempt, and an odd form of therapy. This has deep friendships, but will not become slash, although I hope this will appeal to everyone, slash and non-slash readers alike.

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Chapter 1

For a long time, there had been only darkness. And then, suddenly, Lupin was aware. The sound of gently clinking glasses near his head. A soft murmur of voices, distant conversations, too far off to make out. The smells of soap, herbs and clean linen. _A bed, I'm in a bed_, he thought. That was probably a good sign. Not his own bed, but a familiar bed, nonetheless.

Someone was next to the bed, he could feel the slight disturbances in the air made by their presence. This was the one making the quiet noises of clinking glass, and the soft raps and sliding sounds of bottles being moved around. He could hear the rustle of clothing, the occasional quick breath of someone occupied.

He opened his eyes, and knew where he was. He had memorized that ceiling in childhood days. The hospital wing at Hogwarts. _I've been here far too many times in my life_, he thought.

He turned his head to see who it was beside the bed. A long, black form. Beak of a nose sticking out of a curtain of black hair. Long, sallow fingers measuring liquid into a glass.

"Severus!" Lupin cried out, rising out of the bed. Or, rather, that was what he intended. What came out of his throat was the barest whisper, and he was only just able to shift his body. He felt agonizing pain down his side.

"Lie still," Snape said. He placed a hand gently on Lupin's shoulder, pressing him back down on the bed, before turning back to his potion mixing.

Lupin was still seeing flashes of light in his eyes, and he panted, out of breath from that tiny amount of movement. "Severus," he said, his voice still faint, "I saw you fall. That day - I thought you were dead."

"I fell," Snape said, still intent on the various bottles in front of him. "Wounded, not dead." He squinted as he measured another liquid out. "In hospital for a week. Now well and able." He held up the potion glass he'd been fussing over, inspected it, and apparently approved. He turned to Lupin. "You were not so lucky. You've been in here a long time."

He slid an arm gently under Lupin's shoulders and raised him up. Lupin winced as pain shot down his side again. "Drink," Snape said, as he held the potion cup to Lupin's mouth. Lupin swallowed. He couldn't taste much of anything, his mouth felt dry and numb. But the liquid felt warm, going down his throat, and the warmth spread inside him, driving away the pain. When he finished, Snape lowered him back to the pillow. Lupin could feel Snape's black eyes on him, studying him.

"How do you feel?" Snape asked.

"Rotten," Lupin said, trying to smile, but his face wasn't working right. "I don't remember getting hit." He thought for a moment. "I do remember, I think I got the one who took you down."

"Lucius," Snape said, "Along with several others. So they tell me. I was out of it by then."

"But you held them off long enough for the rest of us to get there," Lupin said. Cloudy images whirled in his mind from that day. "Harry-"

"Is alive. As are Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger."

"And Voldemort?"

"Is dead."

Lupin closed his eyes. Emotion welled in him - it wasn't joy, not after what they'd been through. Relief? Partly that. Mostly that, even. Release. _It's over. This thing that has dominated our lives for so long, is over_.

"I remember," Lupin said, "I saw Voldemort enter Hogsmeade square, going straight for Harry. That's the last thing I remember."

"You were hit by a blast of pure silver," Snape said. "Shacklebolt says all of you were taken aback, when Voldemort appeared, and you let your guard down." He looked at Lupin again, Lupin could feel his eyes. _I must be in bad shape_, he thought_. Silver would do it, for a werewolf. I'm lucky to be alive_.

"What happened to Harry?" Lupin asked, "And Voldemort?"

Snape was quiet for a moment. Lupin heard him breath deeply, and shift his weight on the stool by the bed.

"Voldemort," Snape said the name with only the barest hesitation, "went straight for Potter. He aimed a blast of tremendous force at him, a blast that should have killed not only Potter, but Granger and Weasley beside him." He paused again. "It seems Potter stepped forward, to take the blast onto himself, to save his friends' lives by sacrificing his own." Lupin took a quick breath - _Harry!_ he thought.

Snape went on. "No one is quite sure what happened, after that. Everyone agrees, they saw the blast hit Harry, and connect with Harry's wand, but the blast seemed to rebound back on Voldemort. And that it was Voldemort who fell."

Lupin pictured it, in his head. "Lily nearly killed Voldemort, all those years ago, when she sacrificed herself to protect Harry. And we know that Voldemort could not stand to be in Harry's mind, when Harry held thoughts of love."

"Yes."

"So, in the end," Lupin said, "it wasn't that Harry killed Voldemort. It was Voldemort who could not bear to touch the heart of someone making that ultimate sacrifice." _But I'll wager you feel just as guilty, Harry_, he thought.

"How's Harry doing?" Lupin asked.

He could feel Snape freeze beside him. "I am hardly the person to ask."

"And how are you doing, Severus?" Lupin said.

Snape was quiet for a moment. Then he stood up, with a rustle of robes. "I have things to do," he said, "Go to sleep, Remus." He walked softly away.

Lupin closed his eyes. _I suppose_, he thought, _that Severus did answer my question. He has things to do. That's what's kept him alive, all these years_. Lupin took a deep breath, then let it out. _The task that has ruled you, Severus, for more than twenty years, for all of your adult life, is finished. You've told me that purpose was all you had. What will you do now, when that purpose is over?_

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Lupin was dozing, half asleep, half awake, when he heard voices approaching his bed. Talking, barely murmurs, too soft to make out. They stopped by his bed, and one voice spoke, a voice he didn't recognize. "And this is him, then?" Female, the gruffness of age, which, for a witch, could mean anything from sixty, to one hundred and sixty.

"Yes," Snape's voice said, softly. "He's been taking the potion regularly for two years now. He's done very well with it, although it's hard to tell now, he's recovering from a silver blast."

"I see," the strange witch's voice said, closer now, as if from the side of the bed. "Yes, I agree, I'd say he's doing well. I'll be happy to help."

Lupin opened his eyes, to see the stranger beside him. A small, rather dumpy, grey-haired witch, with a face like a wrinkled apple, and intelligent dark eyes. She smiled at him. "I apologize, young man, I didn't mean to wake you."

Lupin smiled and shook his head. "Not at all. Please forgive me if I don't rise." His voice was a little stronger than it had been.

She nodded and smiled back. "My name is Harriet Semper. I was one of Severus's instructors, when he was doing his post school studies in Potions."

Lupin looked over at Snape, but Snape's face had its usual, unreadable expression, black eyes deep and hidden. "I've told Professor Semper about your case," Snape said, "She was interested."

"Yes, indeed," Professor Semper said. "I helped develop the Wolfsbane potion; Severus was one of the few students I had who could master it." She looked down at Lupin. "Severus thought it would be a good idea if you knew someone else who could provide you with the potion, if he were ever unavailable. I told him I'd be quite willing."

Lupin looked over at Snape. Was there something there, in those black eyes? Lupin wasn't sure. But he nodded at Professor Semper and said, "Of course. It's a great obligation for him, I know."

"I've been hoping the Ministry would look into funding a Wolfsbane Potion program, to make it generally available," Professor Semper said, "There are so few who can make it, and so many who could use it. But, so far, the Ministry hasn't been interested," she said sadly.

"We shouldn't tire him," Snape said softly. "I'll come by later, Lupin, when it's time for your afternoon dose." He and Professor Semper walked off. Lupin watched them until they left his still limited range of vision.

He felt odd. Something felt wrong about that. _Are you planning on being unavailable, Severus?_ That shouldn't bother him. If anyone needed to get away from all this for a while, it was Severus. _Although I never heard you talk about wanting to go away, before - away from Hogwarts, yes, but not so far away that I wouldn't see you. And why do I have the feeling that you'd rather I hadn't awakened, that I did not know about this arrangement you've made for me, at least, not yet_.

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Lupin asked Snape later, when Snape came by with his medicine. "So, you'll be leaving us for a while, then?" He said the words casually, as if the answer did not really matter to him. "Will you be teaching Potions, next term?"

"No, I won't be teaching Potions," Snape's attention was on the liquids he was mixing, he was adding a few grains of powder that set the mixture bubbling and changing colors. "Albus has already found a new teacher. Once this term is over, I'll be clearing out of the rooms so she can move in. I don't know who will take over Slytherin House. What's left of it."

Lupin was quiet for a moment. _Slytherin House will miss you, Severus, it's too bad you're leaving now. But I know how much you want to leave. You're free from teaching here, you've hated it so much_.

"So what are your plans?" Lupin asked. _You can do anything you want. But what do you want?_ He tried to keep Snape from seeing just how closely he was looking at his face.

Snape hesitated, just a fraction too long. "I thought I might travel. Just wander around, stop at any place that interests me." _He doesn't sound interested_, Lupin thought.

"Then I look forward to receiving colorful postcards from you," Lupin said, stretching back into the pillows."Of course," Snape said, again hesitating just a little too long. _We're both lying_, Lupin thought. _I'll give ten galleons to Delores Umbridge if I ever receive a postcard from you, Severus_.

Snape handed the potion to Lupin, who could drink it himself now. He still couldn't taste anything much, but the warmth spread through him, and he felt drowsy. Snape took the glass back from him, and Lupin lay flat in the bed. "Thank you, Severus," he said. He looked straight into Snape's eyes. "I will miss you, when you leave. Don't stay away too long."

Snape looked back at him, something there, in his eyes. He looked as if he were going to say something, but stopped.

Snape got up. "Go to sleep. And get well, Remus. I'm not going anywhere just yet."

Lupin lay awake, for quite a while after Severus left him. _You spoke about traveling aimlessly, Severus, but there was still purpose in your eyes. You are going to do something_.

This man deceived Voldemort for years. But Voldemort was, ultimately, a fool, who thought he could understand Severus because he could read some of Severus' mind, the emotions that Severus chose to show him. _I don't count myself as brilliant, or powerful, _Lupin thought,_ but I know you're hiding something from me, Severus. I don't need to be a soul reader to do it, I just know you_.

_Or perhaps I'm reading things that aren't there. Maybe he simply wants to get away from everyone. Perhaps we all hold bad memories for him, even me. And he wants to go away, to find some place where no one knows him, or his history_.

And a dark, cold voice in his mind said, _maybe he wants to get even further away than that_.

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Lupin woke again, and was aware of smells all around him. The werewolf in him must be active. Poppy had said it would be, now that the silver was finally out of his body; the werewolf healing powers would begin working, even though it would take months for the wounds from silver to heal.

Harry, he could smell Harry. Hermione, too. And Ron. But Harry's smell was strongest. He must have sat here, by the bed, for a long time. Lupin felt a pang. _Poor Harry. I wish I'd been awake_.

And now, another friendly scent, coming towards him. He looked up, knowing who it was, even before the approaching shape came into focus. _Dumbledore_, he thought, a smile spreading across his face. Dumbledore pulled the stool over, and sat down, a little more stiffly than Lupin remembered. _And his eyes_, Lupin thought, _how tired they look. And how much older his face looks, he never seemed so old before. Why is it, the battle is over, we've won, and yet no one looks happy?_

"I am very glad to see you awake, Remus," Dumbledore said. _Even his voice sounds old_, Lupin thought. "I have come here before," Dumbledore continued, "but I always seemed to catch you when you were asleep."

"I am sorry to have missed you," Lupin said. _And honored he came at all, with everything else he has to deal with_. "How goes the Ministry?"

"Oh, a complete disaster, of course," Dumbledore smiled, "As is to be expected, considering it's being torn down and rebuilt. Arthur Weasley has been most helpful. And should wind up with a much higher position after this is all over."

"Will Arthur be the next Minister of Magic?"

"Arthur doesn't want the job," Dumbledore said, "And probably isn't the right man for it. Better he remain a worker behind the scenes, and we find someone who can handle the public for the job of Minister."

"I wish I could be there to help," Lupin said, "Not that I could do much, unless the Ministry has become more open-minded about werewolves."

"Count yourself lucky to be out of it, for now," Dumbledore said. "I have a different job in mind for you."

"I'm not much good for anything, right now," Lupin smiled, ruefully.

"Poppy says you are getting better. She tells me you may be walking in a week or so. And that you are awake more and more, even now."

Lupin waited.

Dumbledore continued. "In fact, you should soon be well enough to return home to recuperate there, although you'd have to go for regular treatments at St. Mungo's if you do that. You could actually be at St. Mungo's now, only Poppy and Severus have both told me that they will barricade the hospital wing door if anyone tries to move you." Dumbledore smiled.

Lupin smiled back. "I am very fortunate in my friends."

"I'm glad you think so." Dumbledore looked away for a moment. "Severus has become, if not exactly popular with the students, certainly more kindly thought of, now that they know he's treating you. Not to mention his actions that day." He let out a soft sigh. "A pity he will be leaving us, now, when he has his first real chance of being liked." Dumbledore looked at Lupin, something odd in his eyes. _Is he worried about Severus, too?_ Lupin wondered.

"I think this is something he's been planning for a long time," Lupin said, carefully, meeting Dumbledore's eyes. "Once everything was over." And then, a little more lightly, "He never liked teen-agers, even when he was one. He certainly doesn't get on with them now."

"No," Dumbledore said, "He does not. A great pity. And, I fear, a great waste. Of his life, for the past seventeen years." His eyes went far away, for a moment. Then he looked back at Lupin. "And you have been wasted, as well." He straightened up on the stool. "And so, as I said, I have a job for you. I want you to stay here, at Hogwarts, for the summer."

Lupin smiled. "That's hardly an onerous request. Although I take it you will want me to do more than lie around in hospital."

"Poppy expects you to be out of the hospital wing in a few weeks, other than coming back for healing draughts. You won't be completely healed for months, though, so yes, better you stay here for your own sake." Dumbledore looked a little more severe. "There is also the matter of your own safety. There are still Death Eaters who have not been captured. Bellatrix is one of them; we think she's the one who shot you. I do not like the idea of you being alone at home while she is still at large."

Lupin smiled. "You have convinced me. I will stay here, and suffer wonderful meals and a comfortable, luxurious room. Not much of a job, so far," he said, looking at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore nodded. "Harry will also be staying on here, for the summer."

"Ah," said Lupin, nodding.

Dumbledore nodded back. "He doesn't have to return to his Muggle relations anymore. The Weasleys have asked him to stay with them, but I think he needs a little more quiet. He has a great deal to think about."

Dumbledore looked out the window again. "I won't have much time for him, with everything that is going on with the Ministry. Miss Granger will be able to visit him here. Mr. Weasley as well, although I believe he is also spending time with Miss Padma Patil these days." A smile passed between the two of them. "But I think it would be a very good thing for him to have your company as well."

"That's hardly a job," Lupin said, "I would enjoy his company very much. It would be as much a help to me, in my condition."

"Then I'll consider it settled," Dumbledore said, "I'll have the house elves prepare one of the guest rooms for you." He paused.

_There's something more_, Lupin thought. _I know what it is, we've been hinting around it_. And he said aloud, "There's also Severus."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes," he said, his voice suddenly old again.

"He tells me he plans to travel," Lupin said. "I don't believe him."

Dumbledore was quiet. He looked out the window, then down. "When he came to me, twenty years ago, he was nearly the same age Harry is now. I remember, how his face frightened me. To see such horror, and such despair, in a face that young."

"He told me, once," Lupin said, "that he'd intended to kill himself." _There, I said it_, he thought.

Dumbledore nodded. "I was able to persuade him that he was needed. And he was needed, no question." His face looked old again. "I had hoped that, in time, he might be able to find, if not happiness, at least contentment." He looked at Lupin. "I had real hopes, these past few years, with the friendship that has grown between the two of you."

Lupin waited.

"So, along with Harry," Dumbledore said, "I hope you may be here for Severus, as well."

"He says he's planning to leave once term is over," Lupin said.

"Perhaps, if he knows you'll be staying for the summer, he'll decide to stay, himself. His replacement won't arrive until the week before classes begin in the fall."

"I'll do my best to convince him to stay," Lupin said. He leaned back in the pillows. "Harry AND Severus." He smiled ruefully. "Bit of a juggling act, there."

"I expect it will be an interesting summer. You will have to tell me what happens."

Lupin grinned wryly. "I'll certainly have to get stronger, fast." He sighed. "I'll do my best, sir. Although I'm not really sure what I'm going to do."

"Just be there. For both of them." Dumbledore stood up. "And get well, Remus. I count that every bit as important."

Lupin watched him as he walked away. _Was he moving more slowly? A little more stooped? He carries all our burdens, as well as his own, and we depend on him so much_, Lupin thought.

Lupin leaned into his pillow and stared up at the ceiling. Yes, it would be an interesting summer, indeed.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 2

Author: ReeraTheRed at September 28, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is the property of J.K. Rowling. Absolutely not mine. I'm just having fun.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to beta reader Michelle for pre-reading!

Author's Note: When the real seventh book is finished, almost certainly the near-eighteen-year-old Harry will have dealt with all the issues that have been brought up in the previous books. But we've only got the fifth book now, so I'm playing him as not angry anymore, but he still feels the same way about a lot of things as he did at the end of book five, especially Sirius and Snape.

And thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far - you're all wonderful! I read everything you say, many times.

For those who've read Practically Brothers/Essential Qualifications and want to know why this isn't getting as deep in each chapter - just wait, this is one long story, and it's building. I promise, there will be plenty of angst. There will also be the frisbee.

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Chapter 2

Lupin turned to inspect his appearance in the bedroom mirror, which was gilt framed, and taller than he was. And therefore, like everything else in the Hogwarts guest rooms, much finer than anything he'd been accustomed to in quite a while. Not since he'd taught here four years ago.

He leaned on his cane, stood up straight, and looked himself over. His hair was still wet from his morning shower. His robes hung neatly, but were on the shabby side, much too shabby for these rooms, with their velvet hangings and old wood.

And his face - he'd been shocked when he'd first seen it, yesterday, his first day out of the hospital wing. Lined and worn, the face of a man twice his age. And people said he was looking better. He must have looked a hundred years old, in the hospital.

He turned away from the mirror, and glanced around the bedroom. He'd moved in yesterday, as he was able to walk reasonably well now, and could take care of himself, although he wouldn't be doing strenuous exercise anytime soon.

There hadn't been much to move. He was pleased to find most of his (granted, small supply of) clothes and personal articles already here - the house elves must have gone to his home and packed for him. Even many of his books were here. But his things didn't begin to fill these rooms.

He walked out into the sitting room, across to the window, and pulled open the heavy, green velvet curtains. Outside, the early morning sun shone down onto the emerald lawn. A couple of the summer boarding students were walking toward the building, they'd probably had an early walk before going to breakfast in the Great Hall. He turned away from the window.

And nearly jumped a foot into the air (if he'd been able to jump, in his current condition) when he saw Dobby, the house elf, standing behind him.

"Dobby!" he said, heart pounding, "I didn't know you were there."

Dobby looked up at him, wearing a very severe expression. Which didn't fit with the bizarre mish mash of clothes he wore, ending with two of the most garish, and completely mismatched, socks Lupin had ever seen.

"Harry Potter is being very concerned about Professor Lupin's state," Dobby said, eyes almost accusing. But there was something else there, a twinkle perhaps?

"I know," Lupin said. "And he has so much else to be concerned about right now, doesn't he."

"Oh, Harry Potter is truly wonderful," Dobby's eyes grew wide and rapturous, "He is being such a great hero, he is slaying the terrible He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and yet he is worrying so much about his friends."

"I know," Lupin said.

"Professor Lupin needs to be getting well, so Harry Potter won't be worrying about him anymore." Dobby still looked very seriously at him, but the corner of his mouth twitched a little. "Perhaps Professor Lupin is not walking all the way to the Great Hall for breakfast, perhaps he is staying here, and Dobby is bringing breakfast to him. And Harry Potter is joining him here, and seeing that Professor Lupin is taking care of himself." Was that a wink Lupin saw?

Lupin smiled. "I think that is an excellent idea, Dobby. It would be a very good thing, for me, to see Harry this morning. Very good for my health."

"Then Dobby is seeing Harry Potter now, to be letting him know," Dobby said, and he vanished, silently, before Lupin could thank him.

Lupin smiled, and shook his head. That was actually subtle, for Dobby. He walked over to the hallway door and opened it, so Harry wouldn't have to knock to come in.

And then, suddenly, felt enormously tired - _just that little bit of standing, and I'm worn out_, he thought. He sat down in one of the big, overstuffed chairs by the fireplace, and made himself be still. He looked out the window, breathing slowly and evenly.

And it wasn't too long before he heard footsteps in the hall outside, fast at first, then slowing as they approached his door. And there was Harry, framed in the doorway. For a moment, Lupin was thrown back four years, the last time he'd been living at Hogwarts in a room like this, and Harry had been thirteen, small, quiet, with a shy smile. He blinked, and saw the young man Harry was now, nearly eighteen. Taller than Lupin, he'd finally come into James's height. But he was not James, no matter how much alike they looked at first. Lupin sometimes wondered how he could ever have mistaken Harry for James. _If only Sirius had been able to see that_, he thought, sadly, still feeling an ache in his heart whenever he thought of his old friend. But then, Sirius had needed James so much.

Lupin smiled at Harry, still standing in the doorway. "Come in, Harry," he said, nodding to the chair opposite his in front of the fireplace. Harry smiled, and came inside, flopping down in the chair. He still moved with a trace of adolescent awkwardness, as if he weren't quite used to his arms and legs. Slender, but not skinny. His school uniform had been exchanged for jeans, although he still wore the outer black wizard robes, they draped over the arms of the chair.

"Thank you for joining me, Harry," Lupin said.

"My pleasure," Harry said, "Believe me. The Great Hall is really empty now, especially in the mornings. It's even worse than over Christmas. Even the teachers aren't there, mostly. Dobby says they have breakfast in their rooms a lot, over the summer."

"Well, you're very welcome to come here any time you like, for breakfast," Lupin said. "Are there many other students?"

"A few. Mostly Slytherins." Lupin watched carefully for any sign of distaste at that word, but heard none. Harry went on, "They're fine, the older ones were all part of Dumbledore's Army. It's just . . ."

"It's just that to them, you're the Great Harry Potter, General of the D.A., and slayer of Voldemort," Lupin said.

Harry winced. "Something like that." He looked at Lupin, "It's so weird. It's not like anything I did was that special. I just happened to be in the right place, and got lucky."

"And you did the right things," Lupin said.

"Hermione did so much more. She figured out everything," Harry said, looking into the empty fireplace grate, "but no one's interested in her at all. Or Ron, or Neville, or Luna, or any of the others." He looked up at Lupin, "Or you, either. Or anyone else in the Order of the Phoenix."

Lupin smiled, "For which I am eminently grateful." He tilted his head, "Well, at least no reporters can get at you here, at Hogwarts. Not even that Skeeter woman."

Harry shrugged. "She'll just make something up. I haven't even read the _Daily Prophet_ since it all happened. Hermione has. She says they haven't messed it up too much."

"You don't want to read their accounts of the final battle?" Lupin smiled.

Harry shrugged again. "I was there, I know what happened. And Hermione and Ron told me everything that went on after I passed out." He fell quiet, back to staring at the empty grate. _What did happen, Harry?_ Lupin thought, _what did you see?_

"Breakfast is here, Harry Potter, Professor Lupin." Lupin jumped in his chair as Dobby's voice sounded behind them. They turned, to see him standing by their chairs. Dobby snapped his fingers, and a table appeared between them. He snapped them again, and the table was laid for two, with numerous covered dishes in the middle. He nodded his head, and vanished.

Harry turned to the table, and began to help himself. _Well, we have the whole summer to talk_, Lupin thought, _no need to get into the darkness just yet. It'll happen, later on_.

"So, what are your plans for the day?" Lupin said, as he started filling his plate. He was suddenly ravenous. A good sign, he guessed.

Harry swallowed his mouthful. "Ron and Hermione are going to meet me in Hogsmeade today. We'll wander around there, maybe go around the grounds. We've practically got the whole place to ourselves." He smiled. "We've got the whole Quiddich field, if we want."

"Sounds like a good plan," Lupin said. "How's Ron doing?" Ron had been hit, like Lupin, on that last day. He wasn't so long in the hospital, but, like Lupin, was going to be a long time recuperating before he was fully well. Dark Magic could leave long, lingering damage.

"He's limping, still," Harry said, "He tries to play it down, says it's not bad, but I think it hurts him a lot more than he lets on." He grinned. "Unless Padma's around. Then he plays it up - you know-" Harry struck a pose, "Oh, don't mind about me, I can bear it."

Lupin smiled. "I hope it's working for him."

"Oh yes," Harry said, "She fusses over him, tells him how brave he was. Pretty funny, considering she probably thought she'd never speak to him again, after he totally ignored her at the Yule Ball in fourth year."

"Well, he's not ignoring her now, is he?" Lupin settled back in his chair with a cup of tea. "And Hermione?"

"You know Hermione, she's already looking forward to fall, and everything she thinks she'll be studying." Harry shrugged.

"You'll have to keep her from working too hard. It could be your last summer free for a long time. Enjoy it." Lupin sipped at his tea.

Harry grinned. "Keeping Hermione away from the books may be more than even I can manage," he said before he popped a huge forkful of eggs into his mouth.

Lupin opened his mouth to answer, when he heard soft footsteps in the hall, and looked up to see Snape, stopping in the doorway.

"Severus," Lupin said, smiling, but inwardly wary - _not the two of them, Harry and Snape, not yet_.

"I had wondered," Snape said, "You weren't in the Great Hall this morning." His face had his usual, unreadable expression. Maybe a little colder, eyes harder. _He sees Harry_, Lupin thought.

"No," Lupin said, "I decided to dine in, and Harry was kind enough to join me. Would you like some tea? I think I can find another cup."

"No, thank you," Snape said, "I was just checking. I'll be by later, with your morning potion."

"Thank you, Severus, I'll be waiting." Lupin watched Snape walk away, the last swirl of his robes vanishing behind the door frame.

Lupin turned to Harry. Harry's mouth was set, and he was looking at the grate.

"How can you like him?" Harry said. "You didn't used to."

"I used to think he was a follower of Voldemort," Lupin said, "I was wrong. About him. About a lot of things." He smiled. "And I've gotten to know him better."

Harry did not look at him. "My father hated him. Sirius hated him."

"So I should continue? Because of a stupid, school feud?" Lupin said.

"He hates me," Harry said.

"Maybe we can do something about that, this summer."

Harry didn't answer.

Lupin sighed. "Let's not fight about it, Harry, please? It's too early, and I'm really not up to it, right now." _Play up the invalid_, he thought. _If it works for Ron, maybe it will work for me_. "I'll envy you, if you go out to the Quiddich field today. Should be a gorgeous day for it." He nodded at the window, at the green lawns, and deep blue sky.

Harry was quiet for a moment longer, then he shrugged, and turned back to Lupin. "Ron says he'll wipe the field with me, even with his bad leg." He smiled. "He probably will, it's been ages since I was on the team, and he's been on it every year since he got on in fifth year."

Lupin kept them on Quiddich until Harry had to leave to keep his appointment with Ron and Hermione.

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Snape came by later, with a lidded mug of the latest healing potion they were giving him. Lupin had dozed off in one of the big chairs, but he blinked awake as Severus knocked gently on the door frame.

"How's it going to taste?" Lupin asked as he took the mug, flipped open the lid, and looked dubiously down at the liquid inside.

"Better than Wolfsbane Potion," Snape said.

"Ha, ha," Lupin said. He sighed, took a deep breath, and swallowed. It wasn't too bad, overall, but he was noticing the taste of these things more and more now, as he was getting better.

"How clever of me to have tea ready," Lupin said, as he put the mug down, and turned to a side table, which held a teapot, cups, saucers and other tea paraphernalia. "Want a cup?"

Snape nodded. "Here, I'll get it for you." He fixed two cups, and handed one to Lupin before sitting down with the other.

"How do you feel?" Snape asked.

"Tired," Lupin said. "Delighted to be out of that hospital bed, though." He sipped at his tea. "I look out the window, and I want to run across the lawn, and around the lake." He smiled wryly, "But I'll be satisfied with walking to the Great Hall for lunch and dinner today."

"I'll come by here when it's time," Snape said.

"Thank you. I'd appreciate that." Lupin smiled. "Not that I expect to faint. But this will be the most I've moved around in weeks."

They sipped, and there was a moment of comfortable silence. Then Lupin asked, "So, other than waiting on me, what are you doing today?"

Snape stretched back in the chair. "There's one child still in hospital from a bad curse, I'm doing regular potions for her." And, seeing Lupin's concerned look, he added, "The curse was from a miscast spell - stupidity, not a battle wound. And she'll be up and running around long before you will."

"Other than that," Snape said, "just finishing up everything from last term." He took a sip of tea. "An amazing amount of paperwork always manages to accumulate."

Lupin nodded, "I remember."

"Not to mention my general packing up," Snape said, his voice suddenly careful.

Lupin nodded, but inside, he felt wary.

Snape hesitated, and then said, "I'll be leaving all my potions stores with my successor."

Lupin looked into Snape's face. "That's quite a large stock you're giving up, if I remember correctly."

"Too much to carry with me. Much of it is perishable. And I certainly don't plan on using any of it when I go," Snape said. "Not for a long while, anyway. Better it all goes to someone who will use it."

"And you can always re-stock when you settle yourself again," Lupin said.

"Of course." Snape did not meet Lupin's eyes, he was looking away. _He's telling me this now_, Lupin thought, _because it's something I'd find out, and would ask him about. So he's telling me on his own terms, giving me an explanation. But the real reason is that that's quite a treasure trove you've accumulated, and you can't bear to see it go to waste_.

"What will you do with the rest of your things?" Lupin said, "Put them in storage?" _What else does he have that he couldn't bear to see lost or destroyed?_ "All your books, they'll be a bit much to travel with."

Snape frowned. "I plan to give a number of them to the Hogwarts library."

"Your books?" Lupin asked. _He's giving away his books! He didn't want to tell me that, but he can't lie, now that I've asked, because I'd find out the truth_.

"I can always go to the library, if I want to read them again," Snape said. "Also, there are some . . . family journals I plan on donating to the Aurors. They would be extremely . . . educational. And I certainly don't plan on reading them again. Ever."

_From the stories I've heard of the Snape family, those journals would definitely be enlightening_, Lupin thought. And was ashamed of himself when he also thought, _I bet I could get Moody to let me see them, once the Aurors have them. Probably clear up police cases going back centuries, if they live up to rumor_. And another thought - _he's diverted the conversation away from the books he's giving to the library_.

"I have some other books that you might be interested in," Snape said, "If you wouldn't mind keeping them for me."

"Of course," Lupin said, keeping his voice calm. "I'll be happy to give them a home, until you come back for them." He tried to look directly into Snape's face, but Snape was turned away.

They finished their tea, and Snape left, promising to come back when it was time to go to lunch.

Lupin leaned back in the chair, almost dizzy. _He's giving away his books! _he thought again._ What else is he taking care of, in all that paperwork he's doing? I bet it's more than school grades and letters to parents_.

He tried to think of a way to get into Snape's desk - could he get past his wards? Not in the shape he was in now, and Snape would have damn good wards, he knew that. It would take a clear head, and time, to unravel them, and right now, he had neither. The floo network? His home fireplace should still be attached to Snape's, but no, only Snape could travel back to Hogwarts through it, the way the floo network security spells were set. Get Dobby to look for him? No, Dobby may be well meaning, and was not stupid, but this called for real subtlety. If Snape ever found out he was being spied on, who knows what he would do.

Lupin was still considering the problem when Snape returned for him. Lunch time already? He looked at the clock, and it was, indeed, time. Snape brought him his cane, he stood up, and together, they walked to the Great Hall, Snape staying close, but not too close, beside him. _I suppose I can count on you staying, for as long as I need your potions skills_, Lupin thought. _I'm still part of your To Do list, something that has to be taken care of before you can go_.

_But how much longer is that?_

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He tried to think, after lunch, once he was back in his rooms. But he kept drifting off, in his chair. He fought against it for an hour, but finally gave in, and stretched out on the sofa. _At least I'm not in bed_, he told himself. He barely gained consciousness when Snape brought his afternoon potion. Snape supported his shoulders and held the mug to his lips while he swallowed. Lupin mumbled a brief thanks, and was asleep again before Snape had left the room.

It was near dinner time when he woke. He felt much better. _Stand up_, he thought, _I need to clear my head, get my legs moving, it'll help me think_.

Then he heard voices, out in the hallway. Distant, but coming this way. As they approached, he could make out Harry and Ron, crowing to each other. Harry sounded much happier than he had this morning. _Good for Ron, he won't let Harry stay down_. Then he heard Hermione's voice - he couldn't make out her words, but the tone was pure Hermione, the cautioning, you-shouldn't-have-done-that tone. Harry must have pushed the edge today, probably while horsing around with Ron on the Quiddich field, enough to give Hermione a scare. If it were James, Lupin would be concerned, James and Sirius had both gone way beyond the boundaries of good sense. But Harry knew his limits, and Lupin had never seen him do anything stupid.

The merry band burst through his doorway - Harry first, Ron behind him, the tallest in the room now, still on the gangly side, and on his arm, Padma Patil - the pretty girl Lupin remembered had grown into a beautiful young woman, a quieter version of her more outgoing Gryffindor sister. Hermione followed last, looking annoyed, but not too annoyed.

And seeing her, Lupin suddenly knew what he had to do. Not now, though, not with Harry and the others there. Later, he'd arrange to get with her. He'd have to wait. But he suddenly felt a sense of relief. _I can take action_.

"Hullo, Professor," Ron said, grinning from ear to ear, as he took one of Lupin's arms, "We're here to kidnap you." Harry took the other, "That's right, you're sitting with us tonight. No high table for you." They both looked completely giddy, as if they'd been laughing all afternoon.

"Harry, Ron," Hermione said, "Don't be so rough, he's only just out of the hospital."

"It's all right, Hermione," Lupin said, grinning, "I'm not quite that fragile."

"There, you see, Hermione," Ron said, "Honestly, she's been like that all day."

Hermione frowned. _Poor Hermione_, thought Lupin, _forced to be the sensible one, because no one else will take the role. I do sympathize_.

Padma found Lupin's cane, and handed it to him, smiling shyly. "Here, Professor." He smiled his thanks and took it from her. Not that he could use it, with Ron and Harry holding him by each arm. And supporting him - for all the show of horseplay, they were each being quite careful, he noted, taking a lot of his weight.

They steered him out the door to the hallway. The whole gaggle of them began to head in the direction of the Great Hall, when Lupin noticed something out of the corner of his eye, and turned to look behind them.

There, at the far end of the hallway, stood Snape. _He came to get me_, thought Lupin. He froze for a moment, not knowing what to do. But Snape gave a nod, as if to say, _it's all right_, and then disappeared around the corner.

Lupin turned back. Ron and Harry hadn't noticed, they were still pulling him forwards. But Hermione had an odd look on her face, had she seen Snape there?

_I'll talk to him later tonight_, Lupin promised himself, after dinner. And he let himself be guided by his jolly companions down the hallway, and on to the Great Hall.

He sat at the Gryffindor table for the first time since he was a student himself. They all told him about the day they'd had. A lot of the shops in Hogsmeade were selling things cheaper, now that the students were mostly gone, and they'd all made purchases that had to be described.

Several students from the other tables moved over to join them. Many were familiar faces to Lupin. As Harry had said, most were Slytherins (_how many were here over the summer because their parents were dead or in Azkaban?_ Lupin wondered). All of the older students, even the Slytherins, seemed happy to see Lupin there - of course, the only reason the Slytherins hadn't liked him before was out of loyalty to Snape.

It seemed a number of other students had joined Ron and Harry in the Quiddich field that afternoon. For many of them, it was the first time they had ever been anything more than spectators there, and Ron and Harry had each captained a team. So, of course, the entire game had to be re-fought, here at the table, a game where rules had been stretched quite a bit, and the final victor was still a hot subject of debate between the two teams.

There had been one moment, looking at Harry's face, eyes sparkling behind his glasses as he described a daring swoop he'd made, when Lupin was suddenly thrown back twenty years, and he found himself looking for Sirius and Peter, and felt a chill when he remembered. But it was only a moment, and he was soon laughing with the rest of them watching Ron re-enact a score he'd made by accident that day.

And then he felt himself being watched, and knew, before he'd even turned to look, that it was Snape, watching him from the High Table. Lupin smiled back at him. Snape nodded, then looked away. _Do you still wish you could be here with us, that you could fit in here?_ Lupin wondered. _The way I know you did when we were boys. I wish I could make that happen, now, but I know it never will; you'll never belong down here again, you never really did. I shouldn't even be down here, not really. It's just because it's summer. The rules don't apply in the summer_. And, once again, he thought, _I'll go see him tonight, thank him for coming by for me_.

That thought made him remember, and he turned to Hermione, who was next to him. The others were still watching Ron. He said, quietly, "I need to talk to you about something, but the others can't be with you. Can you get away, sometime, and come see me?"

She gave him a thoughtful look, with her shrewd eyes. "Tomorrow afternoon, will that do? Ron and Harry are going to play Quiddich again, and I've done my duty watching from the sidelines today. I'll beg off, say I'm going to the library."

Lupin nodded. "Tomorrow afternoon will be fine. Snape comes by with a potion mid-afternoon, but we can talk before or after. I doubt he'll stay if he sees you there." _Although I wish he would_, he thought. Hermione should be more approachable for Snape than most of the other students, and they had a lot in common. He found himself studying her, out of the corner of his eye. An attractive girl, rather than the beauty Padma was, she could look plain or pretty, depending on the expression on her face. _I suspect the intelligence and drive in your eyes frightens off too many people, Hermione, particularly young men your age_.

They were all still talking when they got up from the table. And they talked all the way back to Lupin's rooms, their voices echoing off the stone walls. Several of the students who'd joined them at dinner went with them. And when they reached his rooms, they still weren't finished, and they all found places to sit, all over the room - chairs, sofa, floor. Harry was on the floor by Lupin, who'd taken one of the chairs, and who sat quietly, mostly just listening by now.

They might have been there all night, but when Ron suggested running out to the kitchens to bring back butterbeer, Hermione, who'd been hinting for the previous half hour, stood up, and pointed out that Lupin was still recovering and needed his rest. Padma quietly seconded her, and the two of them managed to usher Harry, Ron, and the other students out of the room - and probably on up to Gryffindor Tower, where Harry was still sleeping in his old dormitory room. Harry called out that he'd be over for breakfast in the morning, if Lupin was awake - Dobby would check - and the noisy group went off down the hallway, their voices gradually growing softer, until Lupin couldn't hear them anymore.

Lupin looked around the now very empty, very quiet room. And felt absolutely exhausted. _I should go see Severus now_, he thought, _it's not that late. But I'm too tired to move. I'll see him in the morning. Not for breakfast, Harry's coming for breakfast. But afterwards, when he brings my potion by, I'll see him then_.

And, repeating that promise to himself, he undressed, and slid into the big, soft, four poster bed, and fell almost instantly asleep.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 3

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: October 4, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is the property of J.K. Rowling. Absolutely not mine. I'm just having fun.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed me so far, you are absolutely wonderful people, give yourselves a hug from me.

Author's Note: because so many people have asked, no, there will be no romantic relationship between Hermione and Lupin, or Hermione and Snape. Or any middle-aged teacher with any teen-aged student, for that matter. Hermione and Lupin are close friends, and he's going to be aware of her as an attractive young woman that he's very fond of, but that's as far as it goes.

Also, while I've established an extremely close friendship between Lupin and Snape (see the previous fic, Practically Brothers), it will not be a slash relationship. I have no problems with gay relationships, and I read and enjoy slash fic myself, but that's just not where this is going. I think adding a romantic relationship just brings in a whole new set of problems, and Snape and Lupin have enough problems to deal with, right now; sex would just overpower everything else.

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Chapter Three

Lupin was still exhausted the next morning, when he woke, but he rose and bathed and dressed. Harry would be by for breakfast, and Lupin had most of the day to sleep if he wanted to.

Harry did not stay long - he was going to see Hagrid that morning. So he wolfed down the eggs and sausage that Dobby brought them, and was out the door again. Lupin had mixed feelings as he watched him leave. He'd enjoyed Harry's company again, as he had the day before, and it was good for Harry to see Hagrid. But it seemed as if Harry was trying a little too hard to keep himself busy.

Lupin let himself doze, afterwards, but made sure he was awake in time to lay the tea things out on the table, to start the kettle boiling, and the tea brewing. And when Snape appeared at his door, he was already pouring out. He held up a second cup, looked at Snape, and Snape nodded and said, "Thank you, yes."

Lupin gulped down the potion Snape gave him, then the two of them settled down with tea.

"I want to thank you, for coming by last night," Lupin said.

Snape nodded. "I know that I am not the only person you spend time with," he said stiffly, as if it were difficult. "And it's on my way. If I see you have gone on without me, I won't concern myself."

"Well, I do appreciate it. I wanted you to know that."

Snape frowned, but nodded. _Enough of that subject_, thought Lupin, _on to something else_.

"In two weeks, it'll be full moon," Lupin said. "Is that going to be handled any differently?" He cocked his head, "Of course, I don't know how you handled it last time, when I was unconscious in the hospital."

"We fed you the Wolfsbane Potion while you slept," Snape said, "We took you out of the hospital, though, and put you in another room. The strain of changing set you back, at first, but you seemed to recover even more quickly afterwards."

"So I'll just get the potion, like normal, " Lupin said, nodding. "I'll have you know, I plan to be much better by then. And I notice the red ball made it here with the rest of my things."

Snape gave him a completely blank look. _Snape's version of looking innocent_, Lupin thought.

"Although I notice that the Frisbee did not arrive along with it," Lupin said.

"Oh," said Snape. "What a shame."

"Funny how the house elves knew to bring the ball," Lupin said, "You'd think they'd've left something like that behind."

"House elves can be quite uncanny," Snape said, "the way they know just what to bring for someone. Clearly they recognized the ball as something that was important to you."

"And yet they missed the Frisbee."

"And yet they did."

"Oh well," Lupin settled back in the chair, and grinned at Snape. "I'll ask Dobby to get it for me." Did Snape grimace at that? Of course, the whole thing was such a game between them now.

Lupin finished his tea, and set the cup down on the table. "Do you think I'll be well enough to go back to the beach? It's summer, it'll be warm. And I promise not to run around too much."

"Perhaps. We'll have to see."

"I'd like to go. Even for a little while. If you don't mind, that is."

"If Poppy gives her permission, we'll go."

Lupin smiled. "I can't ask for more than that."

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Lupin slept for the rest of the morning, out on the sofa. He awoke only when Snape knocked on the doorframe to take him to lunch. Lupin turned his head, and said, "I think I'll pass, today."

Snape knelt down beside him and looked him over. "You should at least eat something," he said, "I'll send a house elf by with some soup."

"Thanks," Lupin said, lying back down. "Funny how it hits me. I'll feel wide awake, and then, bang, I'm asleep."

"You shouldn't push things, when you feel better," Snape said, tone slightly accusing. _Chiding me for last night_, Lupin thought. But he smiled back at Snape and said, "You're right, I'll try to remember."

Snape left him, and it wasn't very long before Dobby popped into the room, with a tray.

"Professor Snape said you would be wanting some soup, Professor Lupin," Dobby said, placing the tray on a side table next to the sofa.

"Yes, thank you, Dobby," Lupin said, sitting up. Dobby popped out again, and Lupin slowly drank the soup. There was some bread and milk as well, and he wound up eating it all.

He dozed a little after that, but felt much better and awake when Hermione appeared in the doorway.

He smiled and waved her inside. "I'd have you close the door," he said, "But I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

"What?" Hermione said, as she sat down in one of the chairs, "A lady alone in a gentleman's chambers?" She grinned, "Don't tell me you're that old-fashioned?"

He flushed. "Well, there's that, too. But no, if we leave the door closed, we look like we're talking about things we don't want anyone to hear. Which we are, of course, but I don't want anyone to think that." He paused, and gave a weak grin, "I'm sorry, did that make any sense? I've been asleep all day."

She smiled. "I suppose it did make sense. We'll just have to sound like we're having a quiet chat." She sat easily in the chair. She'd relaxed a lot, from the overly prim girl she'd once been, but she still didn't have the ease of a normal teen-ager. But she'd been like an adult, even when he knew her as a thirteen-year-old, way older than her years. "So, Professor," she said, "what did you want to see me about?"

He paused. "I'm not quite sure how to begin." He looked down, and frowned. "This is based on hunches, I don't have any serious evidence, I could be completely wrong -" he looked at her, "- I hope I am. But . . ." How to say it? He took a deep breath. "It's about Professor Snape."

Hermione frowned, and almost rolled her eyes. "Not you, too, you're not going to tell me he's not to be trusted, or any of that nonsense, like Ron and Harry."

"No, no," Lupin said, quickly, "Nothing like that."

She was quiet, but she was still frowning.

"Look," Lupin said, and then stopped again. He settled himself back in the cushions on the sofa, and drew his knees up. Not the way a professor should sit, but he didn't care.

"Two years ago," Lupin said, "Severus told me something. About himself." He looked up at her. "You have to promise me that this goes no further. You can't tell anyone, not Harry, not Ron, not anyone."

"Not Professor Dumbledore?" Hermione asked.

"Dumbledore already knows. But no one else. Promise?"

Hermione frowned, but nodded.

"I don't like making you keep secrets from Harry," Lupin said, "I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was necessary." Hermione looked directly at him, and he took another deep breath, "Okay then."

"You know the story," Lupin said. "That Snape became a follower of Voldemort's, but turned away, and became a spy for our side." Hermione nodded.

"Well," Lupin said, "one night, he told me a little more about it." He looked down. "It was one of those times when a whole lot of things came out. And he told me that, when he realized just what Voldemort was, and just how hopeless his own situation was, he decided to kill himself." He looked into her face. "He even told me how he was going to do it - he decided to Apparate into a mountain. Instant death, no one would be able to find him, no one would ever know. He would just disappear." Lupin paused. "He was around your age now, I think, when this happened."

Hermione said nothing, but her face looked stricken.

Lupin went on. "He said he was there, at the spot, when he realized he had to let someone know about Voldemort. He thought he'd go to Dumbledore, tell all, and then he'd, well, go on with it." He shrugged. "Of course, you know what happened after that. Dumbledore convinced him to help, to spy against Voldemort. So he didn't. Go through with it, I mean."

Hermione nodded. "Did Dumbledore know? What Professor Snape had planned to do?"

"I don't think Severus told him, but I'm sure Dumbledore knew, just the same."

They were both quiet, for just a moment. Then Lupin said, "Severus told me, that same night, that all he had keeping him alive was his purpose. He had this task to do, and no one else could do it. And it was only that purpose that kept him going through a life that was otherwise unbearable."

Hermione was quiet. Then she said, "But Voldemort is dead now. He doesn't have to pretend to be a Death Eater anymore."

Lupin nodded. "Yes." He hesitated, "And, I think . . ." he hesitated again, it sounded completely implausible, when he tried to say it baldly like this, "I think, he may be getting ready to go through with his original plans, now."

"And Apparate into a mountain?" Hermione asked, frowning.

"Yes."

Hermione was still frowning. "That's ridiculous."

"He's packing up, wrapping up his personal affairs."

"Well, he would be, wouldn't he, he's leaving Hogwarts."

"He's leaving all his potions stocks here, for the new professor."

"He's going to be traveling, it'd all be too much to carry around with him." She was still frowning.

"He's giving away all his books."

She went quiet. Hermione was probably just as much a book-lover as Snape. Or Lupin. "That's still not proof," she said. But she didn't sound so convinced as before.

"No, it isn't. And maybe I'm wrong. I hope that I am."

She looked at him, waiting.

"So, I thought, just in case he leaves Hogwarts suddenly, if I had a way to know, and to follow him, just to see that he's all right." He looked at Hermione. "And then, when you came by yesterday, I remembered -"

"The tracking spell I developed, when we wanted to keep an eye on Draco last year."

Lupin nodded. "I could get something official out of Moody to do it, but then I'd have to explain why, and I don't want anyone to know about this. And I don't have time to develop something on my own."

Hermione nodded. "I'll do it for you, that won't be a problem." She considered. "I could have it ready for you in a few days, if I can get the time to work on it - it won't take as long as last time, now that I've already done it." She looked down. "Harry and Ron will probably be playing Quiddich again tomorrow, so I should be able to get away." She looked a little melancholy, as she said that. _It's a part of Harry's world where she doesn't really belong_, Lupin thought, _except as a spectator, and who could blame her for not wanting to be Harry's constant, adoring audience? But I bet Padma is there watching Ron_, a sneaky voice in Lupin's head said.

Hermione shook her head a little, and stood up. "I'll get on it right away, Professor." She smiled, and left the room. Lupin watched her go, and then settled back down on the sofa. It was in Hermione's hands, for now. He had to concentrate on getting better.

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It was three days before Lupin saw Hermione again. It was mid morning, and Snape had brought Lupin's potion, and the two were drinking tea, when Hermione appeared in the open doorway.

"Professor Lupin," she said, smiling, "I'm escaping, can you provide me with a refuge?"

"Of course," Lupin said, ignoring Snape's glare. "Quiddich again, this early?"

"They're completely obsessed," Hermione said, as she crossed the room, and pulled a side chair up next to them, setting a largish bag down at her feet.

"Well, he probably needs it, just now," Lupin said, "Want some tea?"

"Yes, please," Hermione said, "Don't bother, I'll get it myself." She stood up and helped herself at the side table. Lupin glanced over at Snape, who sat stiff in his chair, annoyance glinting in his eyes.

"I'm getting a bit worried," Hermione said as she sat back down in her chair. "Harry seems driven about it. I know Ron's just trying to get him out of himself, but I'm not sure this is much better."

"It won't last," Lupin said, sipping his tea, "He'll burn out on it."

"That's what I'm worried about," Hermione said, "Him burning out. And crashing."

Lupin considered. "That might not be such a bad thing. As long as there are people there to catch him. And to listen to him when he's ready to talk. It takes something like that, for some people." Lupin carefully did not look at Snape as he said that.

Snape stood up. "I'll be going now," he said, coldly, "I have other things to take care of."

"Oh, Professor," Hermione said, standing up also, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to chase you away -" She stumbled, and spilled her tea all over Snape's front; Lupin could see brown liquid dripping off his hand. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Professor!" Hermione said.

"Stupid girl!" Snape said, drawing up to his full height and glaring down at her, in a fury.

"Severus," Lupin said quickly, reaching for a napkin, and handing it to him.

Snape wiped the worst of it off, but was still glaring. "I'll see you later today," he said to Lupin, and stalked out of the room.

Lupin looked over at Hermione, who looked sheepish, but then she turned to him and grinned. "Sorry about that," she said, "but it was the quickest way I could think of to touch him with the potion."

She reached down into her bag, and pulled out something wrapped in a cloth. She unwrapped it, and held up a small, round, pocket mirror, about as big as the palm of her hand. "There, Professor, you'll be able to see him, wherever he is. And it will guide you to him, if you need to find him - you can even Apparate to him." She handed it to Lupin. "Brush your hand across it," she said, "and it will be keyed to you. I've added a spell so that it will alert you if Professor Snape ever leaves Hogwarts.

Lupin brushed his hand across the mirror, and then looked into it. He saw a tiny figure of Snape walking furiously down the corridor that led to his chambers. _Too distant a view for him to see what Snape might be working at among his papers_, he thought, with some disappointment. But he could feel, almost a warmth, a secure feeling - he could feel that Snape was close by. He watched as the figure reached the entrance to Snape's quarters, and opened the door. Lupin quickly put the mirror down. He felt a little guilty. _I'll have to be careful how I use this_, he thought. _Snape would be absolutely furious if he discovered that someone was watching him_.

Hermione handed him the cloth she'd wrapped the mirror in. "Here, you'll probably want to keep it in this."

Lupin took the cloth from her, and wrapped the mirror back up. "I'll keep it hidden." He placed it inside his robes, in an inner pocket. As he pulled his robes straight, he could still feel the mirror, even through all those layers of cloth, and again, felt that, yes, Snape was here, safe, still at Hogwarts.

He looked back at Hermione. "I don't know how to thank you."

She smiled and shook her head. "No thanks necessary, Professor." And then she looked serious. "You've got me worried, too. Please let me know, if there's anything more I can do to help."

He nodded. "Thanks, I will. But I'm counting on you to help Harry, you know."

She gave a little smile. "Right now, I think Ron's helping him more than I can." Her eyes looked wistful. Lupin was struck by her expression, and he realized, at that moment, _she loves him_. It wasn't even a surprise. _Of course she loves him. Oh, poor Hermione_, he thought, _because Harry doesn't love you, does he? _Not as anything more than a dear friend. Has she settled for that?

"Quiddich won't help him forever," Lupin said, gently. "And when Harry needs more, it won't be Ron he'll turn to. Ron won't be able to help him then."

She smiled again, but her eyes were still sad.

"If nothing else," Lupin said, "he's got to settle down in the fall, when you and he are back studying again. He'll need you then."

She smiled back at him. "I know, Professor." She stood up, and picked up her bag. "I'll be off, now. I said I was going to be looking some things up in the library today, so I'd better show up with something."

And he watched her go, swinging her bag up against her shoulder as she left the room. _Poor Hermione_, he thought again.

He wondered, did Harry want a girl who would watch him adoringly while he practiced Quiddich? Who would lean on his arm and look up at him with big eyes? Who would fuss over his injuries and tell him how brave he was? Hermione would never be that, not even to win him.

He poured himself another cup of tea, and breathed in the fragrance. At least Ron seems to have pulled a happy ending out of all this, he thought.

And he felt the mirror, wrapped up tightly in his pocket. And felt again, that, yes, Severus is here, and is safe. And took comfort in that.

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	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 4

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: November 6, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapters - anything you recognize is the property of J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Patti and Michelle for beta-reading, this is a WHOLE lot better because of them. And, as always, thanks to everyone who's reviewed me - you're the reason I keep doing this - you guys give me the incentive to keep on going.

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Chapter Four

Harry lay on his bed in Gryffindor Tower and stared up at the ceiling. It was late. He should change, and go to sleep, but he couldn't summon up the energy. And it was nice, to just lie here.

He was completely alone. He wasn't used to it. Oh, he'd been alone in the room before, many times over the past seven years, but he always knew it wouldn't last, that any minute, Ron or the others would be back. And their things would be all over the room - posters, books, papers, open trunks, stray socks. Beds would be rumpled and curtains awry, no matter how often the house elves came by to straighten up. They were there, even when they weren't there.

But now, the room was empty, except for him and his things. The other beds were neat and smooth, all identically made up, waiting for a new group of first years. It wouldn't be his room anymore then.

But for now, it was still his. This room was the only home he'd ever really had in his life. And he had a few more precious weeks of it, before he had to move on. To the Weasleys? Or to rent his own place? He still hadn't decided, didn't want to decide.

He'd have to, eventually. But not yet.

He turned over in bed, to look out the window. The moon was full and gleaming. He caught a glimpse of something bright, over by the lake. He rolled off the bed, and crawled closer to the window.

He saw a huge, silvery animal, running along the lake shore. _It's Remus_, he thought, _Remus in his wolf form_. The only other time he'd seen Remus as a wolf, he'd been a ravening monster, a roaring mass of grey hair and sharp teeth. Now, he looked like a dog - granted, a really, really big dog - trotting along the shoreline. Keeping out of the water, though. Madame Pomfrey probably made him promise not to get wet.

Suddenly, something green flashed by, and Remus darted after it, leaping up into the air, and catching it in his mouth. A bright green disk. Remus trotted back with it, to hand it to a tall, black figure that Harry hadn't noticed before, in the shadow of the trees. Snape, of course. The black figure took the disk from Remus, and threw it again, and Remus was after it like a silver arrow.

_Good god_, Harry thought, _Snape's throwing a Frisbee_.

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Lupin slept for more than twenty-four hours straight after changing back into human form. He awoke, still groggy, late in the morning of the second day. There were a few moments of disorientation - _I'm not at home, not in my own bed_ - before he remembered, _no, I'm at Hogwarts, I've moved into Hogwarts_.

And then he remembered, and he fumbled at the bedside table until his fingers found the mirror, wrapped in its cloth. _No, Severus is still here, close by. Nothing's happened while I was asleep_. He let out a sigh of relief. Hermione told him he could sense Severus' presence because they were so close; she had never had that kind of bond with Draco when they'd used it on him.

He closed his hand around the mirror. Severus was VERY close by, and coming closer. _He's coming here_, Lupin thought, and he quickly put the mirror in the table drawer.

He heard a knock at the outer door, then the door opening, and another knock at the bedroom door. "Come in," he said, pulling himself up to sit against the pillows.

Snape came through the doorway, and over to the bed. A tray was floating behind him, loaded with food. Lupin's sensitive nose twitched at the delicious smells, and he felt his mouth salivate. "Food!" he said, "You brought food! I'm starving!"

"Potion first," Snape said, taking a mug from the tray. Lupin gulped it down, made a face, then looked over at the tray, which held enough food for two or three people easily, albeit on the bland side. Snape filled a mug with soup and passed it over. Lupin forced himself to swallow it slowly. He really was starving, all of a sudden. Much more so than normal, even after he'd been through full moon.

"It was like this last time you changed," Snape said, "while you were still in the hospital. You seemed to have a setback at first, but then you made a great jump forward. That's when you first woke up. Your werewolf healing abilities are very strong now."

"One of the very few good things about being a werewolf," Lupin said, with a crooked smile. "Although I enjoyed myself, the last few nights. As usual." He smiled at Snape, then looked over at the tray again, "What else do you have there?"

Snape maneuvered the tray over to the bed, so Lupin could help himself, then pulled a chair over and sat down, while Lupin proceeded to down everything on the tray. _It's the healing abilities_, he thought, _I need all the fuel in me I can get_.

He finished, and lay back in the pillows, with a sigh of contentment.

"You should rest now," Snape said, standing up. "I know you're feeling better, but be careful not to over-do things. You should probably stay in bed today, or at least, stay in your rooms."

"All right," Lupin said, reluctantly. "I won't promise that I'll stay in bed, I think I've been in bed for far too long. But I'll stay quiet."

Snape nodded. "I'll arrange for your meals to be sent in today." He left the room, the tray floating behind him.

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Lupin slept a bit more that morning, but couldn't bear staying in bed any longer, so he rose, and washed and dressed. He did keep his promise, though, and stayed in the sitting room, quietly reading. He was just beginning to wonder when his lunch would arrive, when Hermione peeked around the doorframe.

"Hello, Professor," she said, " Has anything happened?"

"Come on in, Hermione," Lupin said, nodding his head at the other chair.

Hermione crossed the room, sat down, and looked at him expectantly.

"And no, nothing's happened," Lupin said. "He seems his usual self. Even in a good mood, for him. But I don't expect that to change. If he's decided anything at all, it's not a decision made in a moment of despair. It's something he determined a long time ago. I can't expect a sudden mood change, or anything like that, to warn me."

"Maybe he's decided against it," Hermione said, "It's one thing to set a course of action when it's a long way away. It's quite another to actually carry it out when you get there."

"I hope you're right," Lupin said. "I worry that he just hasn't, I don't know, checked off the final entry on his list of things to do."

"Maybe he's delaying," Hermione said, "You know, deep down, he really doesn't want to, and he's coming up with things to do to justify staying on. You said he seemed in good spirits. He could be realizing there are things worth staying for."

"Let's hope so," Lupin said. But he knew, in his heart, that it wasn't true.

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It happened three days later.

"I'd say you've made remarkable progress these last few days," said Poppy Pomfrey, as she waved her hands above Lupin's prone body, moving them from side to side, from his toes to his head, her eyes closed. "It's hard to believe you were at death's door only a month ago." She opened her eyes. "All right, I'm all done."

Lupin sat up in the hospital bed. Poppy sat thinking, her hands in her lap. Snape stood quietly behind her like a shadow, watching.

"I really do feel amazingly better," Lupin said, "Just hungry all the time."

"That's a good sign," Poppy said, "You're building up your strength." She thought for a moment longer, then nodded her head. "Yes, I'd say we can dispense with those special potions you've been making, Severus." She turned and looked at Snape behind her, and he nodded. She turned back to Lupin. "I think regular doses from a standard elixir will be all you need from now on." She stood up. "I'll get a bottle from the dispensary."

Lupin felt a chill. _No more special potions from Snape_. He looked over at Snape, but if Snape felt any concern over it, his face showed nothing. Or was there distance there, as if Snape's mind were suddenly elsewhere.

"I hope I can still count on you for morning tea, Severus" Lupin said.

"Of course," Snape said. But his voice was distant. _No mistake_, Lupin thought, _he's thinking of something else_.

Poppy came back with a corked bottle. "Here you are. The dosage schedule is written on the side," she said as she handed it to Lupin. "Now, off with you, I'd say you think you've been in here far too much this year."

"Thank you, Poppy," Lupin said, standing up. He looked over at Snape.

"Go on, I have some other things to take care of," Snape said.

"All right," Lupin said, "I'll see you at lunch then?"

Snape hesitated. "I may have lunch in my quarters today. I have things to do."

"Well, perhaps you might drop by for tea?"

Snape nodded. "Perhaps."

"Fine, I'll look for you, then," Lupin said, as he turned away.

Out in the corridor, Lupin stopped and stood very still. _That was it_, he thought. _I don't know how I know, but I do. That was the final thing Severus was waiting to finish. It's going to happen, and soon_.

And then he thought, _Hermione would give you that look of hers, if you told her, she'd say you're being ridiculous. What evidence do you have? A few distracted looks from Snape?_

He walked down the corridor, towards his chambers. And with each step, he was more convinced. It was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon.

He reached his rooms, sat down in his chair, and pulled out the mirror, unwrapping its cloth covering, and holding it in the palm of his hand. It was the first time he'd looked into it since Hermione gave it to him. He could see Snape walking down the corridors, the way he always did, with his stalking stride, black robes flowing behind him. Not the way you'd expect a man to walk who'd decided to do away with himself, he had to admit. But Snape wasn't a normal man.

He let his hand fall into his lap, and he leaned back. _I just have to keep watch_, he thought. He frowned, _there has to be something else I can do. I've got to send word to Dumbledore, that's what I've got to do. And tell him what?_ He frowned. _I need more information_.

_I'll watch Snape today_, he thought, _watch him, talk to him, see if I can learn any more. Then I'll write Dumbledore tonight, even if I don't know anything more than I know now_.

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He watched Snape in the mirror, off and on, throughout the day. Snape was definitely putting things away, straightening things up, but that was normal behavior for him, Lupin had to admit. The potions stores closet was immaculate, but it always was.

Lupin even swallowed his scruples and watched Snape in his own quarters, although the view became very hazy in there - no doubt due to the very complex wards Snape must have set. If Lupin were trying to view him from outside Hogwarts, he doubted he'd be able to see anything at all. But even with all the distortion, he could see that Snape's quarters were almost as bare as his own. Even the surface of the desk was clean, no papers, just the standard equipment provided to all the desks in the chambers at Hogwarts. There were some books on the shelves, but not many, and they were grouped together at one side, as if they were to be kept together for some reason. Lupin tried to make out the titles, or even see if he could identify any by their shape and color, but the view was too blurred.

There was an iron bound trunk against one wall. The lid was open, and he saw Snape placing things inside, although the view was too murky to make out exactly what. _What is that for?_ Lupin wondered. _ Keeping the illusion of going traveling, perhaps?_

Lupin finally put the mirror down when Snape sat at a window and began to stare outwards. The view would be an enchanted one - Snape's quarters were in the dungeon, like the Slytherins. Lupin tried to see what Snape was looking at, but the mirror showed nothing but hazy swirls. _Maybe two layers of far-seeing canceled each other out_, he thought. He wondered what Snape was looking at.

_I bet he doesn't come by for tea_, Lupin thought. _I'll catch him at dinner, then. What if he doesn't go to dinner? Then I'll chase him down in his quarters_.

But Snape did come for tea, that afternoon. The mirror warned Lupin; he wasn't looking at it, he was leaning back in the chair, eyes closed, but the mirror was still in his hand, and he could feel Snape coming closer. He quickly wrapped it up and stowed it in his pocket, and was innocently looking out the window when Snape showed himself in the doorway.

"Severus," Lupin said, smiling, "Tea time already? Give me a minute, I'll get the kettle going."

"No need," Snape said, as he sat down in his usual chair, "I took the liberty of asking the kitchens to send up a full tea. I haven't eaten since breakfast. I hope you don't mind."

And, sure enough, a house elf popped in with a tray, placed it on the side table, and then popped out again. Lupin poured out, and handed first a cup, then a laden plate over to Snape, before helping himself.

"And why so busy all of a sudden?" Lupin asked.

Snape sipped at his tea, then carefully placed the cup back on the saucer. _Stalling_, Lupin thought. _Thinking of how he'll answer me_.

Snape frowned. "I think . . ." He stopped for a moment. "I have told you, I intend to leave Hogwarts. To travel."

"Yes," Lupin said.

Snape took another sip of his tea. "I think I will be leaving soon."

Lupin was quiet. "I had hoped you'd stay until the end of the summer."

Snape shook his head. "No. It is time I was moving on. This place does not hold good memories for me. I will be very glad to leave it." He looked at Lupin as he said that.

"Oh," Lupin said. "I'm sorry you're going, I will miss you," he said carefully, "How much longer will you be staying?"

Snape shrugged. "Not much longer." Again, he looked at Lupin. "You remember, I said I had some books for you."

"Yes," Lupin said. "To keep for you until you come back." _I dare you to look me in the eye when you answer that, you liar_, he thought.

But Snape merely looked down at his tea while he sipped it, and said, "Yes." He looked back up at Lupin, "I'll get them to you sometime tomorrow. Will that be all right?"

"Of course," Lupin said. "Can I count on you for tea in the morning?"

Snape hesitated, then nodded. "Perhaps. If I'm not too busy."

"With all these things you have to do before you leave." Lupin tried, but he couldn't quite keep the annoyance from his voice.

Snape looked at him sharply. Then his face softened, and he nodded, "I had a surprisingly large number of things to take care of before I could think of leaving." And again, he looked directly at Lupin as he said that. _I'm one of those things_, Lupin thought.

Lupin put his teacup down. "Severus, I was thinking," he said, "I've got a spare room back at my place. I don't know what you have to come home to, but you're always welcome to stay with me." He looked carefully at Snape while he said it. Snape sat very still, and Lupin, feeling encouraged, went on, "I know it isn't much, but I'd enjoy the company, I'm going to be very lonely when I go back home, after being here at Hogwarts." Snape had not moved, he was listening. "You'd be doing me a favor, you know. It'd be very handy, having you there, a wizard who doesn't lose his powers at full moon, the way I do."

Snape still did not move. Lupin waited, watching him.

Finally, Snape shifted a little in his chair. "You might not like it, having me around all the time."

"I've liked it here. It's you who'll probably get sick of me, but you can always disappear into your room, that won't bother me."

Snape was still again. _He's thinking about it_, Lupin thought, _he's really thinking about it. There's a part of him that wants to_.

But then, something changed in Snape's eyes, as if a cloud passed over them; for just an instant, there was a flash of something intensely sorrowful. Then his eyes grew hooded and distant. "I'll think about it," Snape said, but Lupin knew he'd already decided against it.

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They went to dinner together, later on. Snape behaved normally, even seemed to be in a better mood than normal. Certainly, he didn't scowl nearly as much as usual, even with Harry and his friends all laughing boisterously at the table below. And Snape's appetite was good, even if it didn't match Lupin's still wolfishly ravenous one.

Lupin tried to steer them back to his chambers after dinner, but Snape shook his head and said, "Not tonight, thank you anyway." And turned off towards the dungeons.

Lupin nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, then. At tea. And when you bring by the books."

Snape nodded as he walked away, "Yes, you'll get the books tomorrow." And he disappeared around a corner.

Lupin frowned. Then he headed straight for the owlery. He didn't know where Dumbledore was these days, but a good owl would find him. He dashed out a message, and tied it around the leg of a handsome screech owl, and watched as it flew across the night sky.

_I feel safe for tonight_, he thought, _but after tomorrow, who knows. I hope Dumbledore can get back here by tomorrow. Although I have no idea what he can do. But I'm out of ideas, and I don't know where else to turn_.

He sat up in his chambers, looking in the mirror, but it was even more fogged in Snape's quarters than it had been earlier, and he could only just make out a black figure in the center of the mirror, surrounded by a murk that was only slightly less black. _He's increased his wards, or they're reacting to him in some way_, Lupin thought.

He finally put the mirror on his bedside table, lay down in bed, and put out the lights. But he still couldn't sleep. _We're safe through tomorrow_, he kept telling himself, _and Dumbledore will be here tomorrow_.

_We're safe through tomorrow. He's promised to see you tomorrow_.

_He's promised I'll get the books tomorrow_, a voice in his mind said. _He doesn't have to see me to make that happen_.

Lupin sat up in the bed. _Severus promised to have tea with me in the morning_, he thought. _No, he didn't_, the voice in his mind answered, _he said "Perhaps."_

Lupin reached out to the table, and felt around until his fingers closed around the mirror. He clutched it in his hand. _There_, he thought, _it's all right, I can feel Severus, here still_.

For now.

He lay back in the bed, hand still closed around the mirror. _I'll keep it here with me_, he thought, _I won't leave it on the table, I'll hold it in my hand, I can trust myself not to drop it_. He breathed a little easier, and closed his eyes, the hand clutching the mirror resting on his chest.

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The buzzing woke him instantly. And he knew exactly what it was, and his first thought was _Damn you, Severus_.

He opened his eyes. It was very early, the window showed the sky outside just turning from black to grey. "Lumos!" he called out, and the room brightened. He held the mirror up to his face - it was buzzing, and whirring in his hand.

There was the tiny figure of Snape, no longer blurred by the wards in his chambers, but still a dark shadowy figure in the pre-dawn light, a shadow surrounded by shadows. Lupin could make out trees around him, as if he were in a forest clearing. Snape was staring ahead of him, looking at something, and Lupin willed the view in the mirror to change, so he could see.

Snape's figure disappeared beyond the frame, and Lupin saw more trees and bushes passing across the mirror's surface. Then the view stopped. And through the trees, and above them, he saw a great mountain, rising black against the rosy-grey sky.

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	5. Chapter 5

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 5

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: November 11, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapters - anything you recognize is the property of J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: Thanks, as always, to my beta readers, Patti and Michelle (who approved this one as is). And, also as always, thanks to everyone who's reviewed me, you guys are really great - you called my last chapter an Evil Cliffhanger, I feel so proud!

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Chapter 5

It was still just before dawn. Along the eastern horizon, the sky was just turning from iron grey to the softest rose, while opposite, night still held, though the stars were fading.

If anyone at Hogwarts happened to be awake this early, and happened to glance out their window at just that moment, they'd have seen a huge, silvery grey animal racing across the lawn at an almost unbelievable speed. If they had very good eyes, they might have noticed that it carried a bundle in its jaws. But they would have had to look quickly, for within seconds, it was beyond the gate.

If any of them had been able to read its thoughts, they would have clearly heard the words, "Blast Hogwarts and its anti-Apparating fields!"

The moment he was outside the Hogwarts gates, Lupin returned to human form. He pulled on his clothes in a matter of seconds. He made sure he had his wand gripped firmly in one hand. In the other, he held the mirror. He gave it one final glance, but Snape hadn't moved, he was still standing in the clearing, staring at the mountain in front of him. Lupin took a deep breath; his heart was racing, but he didn't dare take a moment to rest. He gripped the mirror, feeling Snape's presence through it. Then he closed his eyes, and Apparated.

He found himself in the same clearing he'd seen in the mirror, a mass of grey and black shadows, only just dimly lit by deep rosy dawn light. Snape was standing, as he had been in the mirror, only now he had a look of surprise on his face, which changed, as Lupin watched him, to a glare. The iron bound trunk Lupin had seen in the room was beside him. _Full of those things you couldn't give away, but couldn't bring yourself to destroy?_ Lupin wondered.

"What are you doing here?" Snape said. Rose light etched the outlines of his face, and picked out the edges of his robes.

Lupin held up the mirror and cocked his head. "Tracking spell." He gripped his wand in his other hand, not raised, not threatening, but ready, where Snape could see it. Snape's wand was nowhere in sight, Lupin noted, and his pale hands were plainly in view against his black robes.

Snape nodded. Then he turned and looked away, up at the mountain. "I am going to watch the sunrise," he said, calmly. He folded his long, thin legs and sat down on the ground, leaning back against a tree trunk. The entire motion spoke of familiarity, as if he'd done this before, at this tree, many times. It was an old tree, tall, bent, gnarled, with spreading roots tall enough to sit on, and reaching branches overhead. Lupin thought, _he told me the mountain was near his home. Did he come here as a boy? Did he sit beneath that tree, and look up at the mountain?_

Not knowing what else to do, Lupin sat down close by, beneath a neighboring tree, still holding his wand at the ready. Snape did not appear to notice. Lupin followed his gaze, careful to keep both the mountain and Snape in sight.

The mountain seemed huge, this close; it loomed high above the hills that surrounded it. He could almost feel its massiveness, smell it in the cool, moist air around him. It seemed even darker now than before, surrounded by a sky that was turning from soft pink to a brilliant rose.

Lupin looked at Snape, who was watching calmly. His pale face seemed to float by itself, ghostly and odd, with the rosy dawn lights reflected on his skin and in his eyes, his black hair and robes melting into the shadows beneath the tree. The very image of the evil wizard, the dark lord, in the children's books, except that dark lords were never shown sitting beneath trees, arms draped over their knees like boys.

"And after the sunrise, what then?" Lupin asked.

Snape smiled his ugly smile. "What do you think?"

"I'll stop you," Lupin said, raising his wand and pointing it directly at Snape.

Snape looked at him. "Why?"

"Because it's wrong."

"Again, why?" Snape said. "It is my life, my own existence. Finally, at long last. I can do with it as I please."

"Not this," Lupin said, "What you do affects other people."

"Who?" Snape said. "Who will care?"

"I will," Lupin said.

Snape nodded. The light was stronger now, not so red as before, and his face no longer seemed to float in the air. Lupin could make out the details of his robes now, could separate them from the tree. "Yes, I believe you will," Snape said, "But you're the only one."

"That's not true," Lupin said, "There's Albus, and Minerva . . ." his voice petered off.

Snape smiled. "A short list."

"The other teachers. Your Slytherin students," Lupin said.

Snape shrugged. "I am not a part of their lives, they will not miss me." He leaned his head back against the tree, eyes fixed on the mountain. "Albus and Minerva will feel some sadness, but it will pass." He closed his eyes. "As for everyone else who knows me, if they think I have merely left, that I'm still alive, they'll be glad I'm gone. And if they find out I'm dead, they'll feel some pity, talk about the 'poor bastard', but it won't mean anything." He looked directly at Lupin. "There is no one who cares. No one but you."

"Albus cares about you," Lupin said, "He cares deeply. You will hurt him tremendously by doing this."

"Albus cares about everyone. But I am not special to him, not the way Harry is. Or you are. He dealt with me because he needed me."

"That's not true"

Snape's eyes flashed. "I had my own worth in his eyes clearly demonstrated to me a long time ago. When an attempt on my life was worth no more than a detention and a badly mumbled apology from Black. If I had done the same to one of you, I would have been expelled." He looked away again.

Lupin froze.

"Yes, Albus will grieve at my passing," Snape said, "but no more than any of the others we have lost. And less than many. What he'll feel, mostly, is guilt. And pity. The only emotions I can inspire."

Lupin shook his head. "You are absolutely determined to believe that no one could ever care about you."

Snape looked at Lupin, and his face softened. "I know this will hurt you. But you have many people who love you, and who will quickly fill any gap that I leave in your life."

Lupin thought of the times Snape had watched him while he was with Harry and the others, and felt a twinge.

It's not the same," Lupin said, "I love Harry, Hermione, the other students, but they're children. I'm too old, they're just discovering things I learned and mastered a long time ago. The gap is too great." He looked into Snape's cold black eyes. "You, you're my dearest friend."

Snape looked away, for a moment. _Have I reached him? _thought Lupin.

Then Snape looked up. "Poor werewolf, you have to be friends with me because there's no one else left."

"That's not true," Lupin said, "I'm friends with you because I genuinely like you."

"If James and Sirius were alive, you wouldn't even be here."

Lupin stopped, stunned.

"If James and Sirius appeared here, now, back from the dead," Snape said, "they'd laugh at you, and tell you to leave me. They'd be disgusted at you even being here."

"If they were here, now," Lupin said, quietly, "I'd tell them that you are also my friend, and that I will not choose between them and you."

"You never would have said that while James was alive."

"I'm a different person now. I'm not a frightened, weak boy any longer, afraid that my friends will leave me." He smiled at Snape. "Now I know that, if I had stuck up for you more, while we were at school, even if I had befriended you, they would still have been my friends. They might even have accepted you."

Snape stared at him. "No, Lupin. They would never have accepted me."

"Perhaps not," Lupin said, "but they would have accepted that you and I were friends. We could have been, you know. You and I have a lot more in common than I ever had with James and Sirius. We're book people, you and I. And I was always a bit on the outside, in that group. It was always James and Sirius, and then me." _And Peter, trying to fit in_, he thought.

Snape was quiet.

"Please come back with me," Lupin said, "Please at least try, for a little while. You haven't even tried to see what life can be like, now that it's over, and you're free."

Snape did not answer. Lupin felt a surge of hope, and went on. "You've enjoyed the times you and I have had together, haven't you? It can be like that all the time, now. You don't have to sneak around, and pretend to be something you're not -"

"It wasn't much of a pretense," Snape said, "I wouldn't have been able to survive if it were."

"No matter," Lupin said quickly, "you have a future now. You are talented, intelligent, there are so many things you can do."

Snape looked at him. "Is this where you tell me I can be anything I want to be?"

"No, of course not. No one gets that. But you're in a better position than a lot of people, with your abilities."

"Am I? You really think a Death Eater will be allowed in, everything forgiven and forgotten?"

"I think anyone who is so talented that they can brew the Wolfsbane Potion is going to find doors open to him."

"The back doors, perhaps, where I could be kept safely out of sight. Though I suppose even that sounds like paradise to you, poor werewolf."

"Isn't there anything you want?" Lupin asked.

Snape was still. "What I want," he said, quietly, "is to not be me, anymore."

Lupin stared at him.

"I want to be free of this ugly body," Snape said, "of my miserable spirit, of this unbearable life. Of people who look at me with loathing and contempt."

"No," Lupin said.

Snape stretched out his hand, and looked at it. "You know, I wonder if there's any piece of my body that hasn't been part of something vile. Either doing, or done to." He let his hand drop. "The memories are in my skin. Or deeper."

"You can have memories removed," Lupin said. "The Pensieve -"

"They'd have to take it all," Snape said, "Or nearly all. From birth. There'd be nothing left." He gave his ugly smile. "You have no idea, the memories I have."

Lupin thought, _I've never asked about his home, what his life was like before school. Harry told me about seeing Snape's parents fighting, his father shouting, but that's all I know, really. Other than the stories about the Snape family history. And Merlin only knows what he saw as a Death Eater_.

"You know," Snape said, "I'm not even capable of conjuring a Patronus."

Lupin frowned, "I don't believe that. You are quite powerful enough."

"But you have to have a happy memory," Snape said.

Lupin stopped, caught by that. "But I know you have had times when you were happy. I've seen them." But his heart sank as he said that. _I've seen him content_, he thought. _But have I ever seen him experience a moment of real joy?_

Snape looked at him. "I have had a few, rare moments. But they do not last. I can remember that I was happy, but I cannot recall the feeling. I cannot conjure it within myself."

"Well," Lupin said, "Now you have the opportunity to learn." Snape's face sneered, but Lupin went on, "You are done with it, you are leaving your horrors behind you, it's in the past."

"You speak as if it's like moving from one room to another," Snape said, "These are not things to close behind a door." He shook his head. "Wherever I go, I bring it all with me."

He turned to Lupin. "Yes, I have had brief times when I could forget, for a short while. Those times with you, during the full moon," he looked down again, "I have treasured those, I think they are all that kept me alive, these past few years." He stared at the ground. "But, in the end, I have to return to myself, be with myself." He closed his eyes. "I don't want to be alone, with only myself, anymore."

"So don't," Lupin said, "I offered yesterday, I offer again. Come stay with me. There's a part of you that wants to, I know."

"I was tempted, yes," Snape said, softly. "To live in your little house, to read your books, to listen to music."

"Yes," Lupin said.

"Yes, it would be very nice," Snape said, "Until Harry showed up to visit. Or any of your other friends. You have a life of your own, Lupin, and I do not fit in it. I wish I could, but I don't."

"You could learn."

"I'm near forty, Lupin, I think I'm past learning by now."

"I disagree. I have a high opinion of you, Severus. I think you can learn to do anything you want to."

"I could learn the semblance. To appear as if I fit. But I cannot change my heart. I do not like people. I like you because it is impossible not to like you, and yet look how long it took before I learned to do so."

"You won't let anyone in."

"Because they'd be horrified at what they'd find if I did." Snape suddenly looked like an old man. "Even you, I have told you next to nothing. I don't want you to know. And you don't want to know."

"No, I just don't ask you. I know enough, I think. Although if you ever want to talk, to tell me more, I'd listen."

"And lose the good opinion of the one person who thinks well of me?"

"Whatever sins you may have committed long ago, Severus, I think you have more than made up for them, by now."

Snape did not reply.

Lupin took a deep breath. "I see a man who has suffered more, has endured more horror and misery, than any human being should ever be asked to. And yet, now that the happy ending has come, and you've done as much as anyone to bring that about, and suffered more than anyone for it, you choose to run away."

"Happy endings are not for Death Eaters. Or dark wizards." Snape looked up at him. "Remus, please let me go."

Lupin looked back at him, at his long, thin, pale face, with its beak of a nose, the unkempt hair falling to either side. And saw there, the face of the boy who had followed them, spied on them, who had done everything he could to trip them up, all the while consumed with the desire to be them, to be one of them. _No chance of that now, my friend, I'm all that's left. The bright stars burned themselves out. And you were the greatest hero of any of us, in the end_.

"No, Severus," he said, "I won't. I won't let you go." He held his wand pointed full at Snape.

Snape turned away, stared at his knees. Lupin watched him. _I'm sorry_, he thought.

"And just what are you going to do?" Snape said, still staring at his knees, "Lock me up at St. Mungo's? Put me in the cot next to Lockhart?"

"Of course not," Lupin said, "But there are healers, who can help. You know that. I'm sure Albus will be able to find someone, the right one, who can help you -"

"Petrificus Totallus!" Snape's wand darted out, quick as a snake, and a flash of light hit Lupin before he'd even heard the words of the spell. His legs locked together, his arms clapped to his sides, and his back stiffened straight as a board.

Snape was by him in an instant, catching him as his body straightened, pulling him away from the tree, and laying him gently down on the ground. "I'm sorry, Remus," he said, as he unfastened his cloak. "The spell will wear off in a few minutes." He rolled the cloak up into a ball, and placed it under Lupin's head.

Lupin tried desperately to speak, but his mouth was frozen shut. He could only blink his eyes. Snape looked down at him. He opened his mouth, as if he were about to say something, but stopped, and simply stared for a moment. Then he stood up, still looking into Lupin's eyes.

Then Snape turned away. He waved his wand at the trunk, and it floated over beside him, and he put his arm over it. He looked ahead, to the mountain. Lupin watched, helpless, fighting against the spell, knowing it was useless, cursing himself for being taken off guard, as he watched Snape take a deep breath, and close his eyes.

Then Lupin heard a voice, from outside the clearing, and a blast of light burst through the trees. Snape turned at the sound of the voice, and the light struck him full in the chest. He went down like a felled tree, out of Lupin's line of vision. _What happened?_ Lupin wondered.

He heard someone coming through the brush. And then he saw, in the now bright morning light, as Hermione stepped into the clearing, her wand still raised. Her face looked stricken. And in her hand, she held a mirror, twin to the one he still held in his own paralyzed fingers.

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TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 6

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: November 19, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapters - anything you recognize is the property of J.K. Rowling.

Acknowledgements: As always, thanks to my beta readers, Patti and Michelle. And thanks much for all the reviews for the last chapter - you guys all made my week (remember, I don't know if you like it unless you tell me ).

Author's Note: I think I got the idea for this one from watching too many episodes of Animal Cops.

Also, this is the first time I've tried Hagrid. I'm not really trying to reproduce the accent here, I'm trying to do just enough to fake it (although it'd be great if those of you who are familiar with that accent suggest improvements).

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Chapter 6

Hermione knelt beside Lupin, as he lay on the ground, still paralyzed. He heard her say the counter curse softly, and his muscles relaxed, his arms fell gently against the ground, and his head sank into the rolled up cloak that Snape had placed beneath it.

He took a deep breath, then sat up.

"Once again, you saved the day, Hermione," he said, shaking his head, and stretching out the stiffness in his muscles.

"Have I?" she said.

They both looked over at Snape, where he lay, stretched out on the ground.

"I almost let him go," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Lupin closed his eyes. "I know," he said, "but you did the right thing. You know you did."

Hermione was quiet. Then she said, "What do we do now?"

Lupin shrugged. "Get him back to Hogwarts."

"And then what?"

"I don't know," Lupin said. Snape's words "_Are you going to lock me up at St. Mungo's?_" rang uncomfortably in his head. _No, he thought, not that, never that_. "Dumbledore," Lupin said, "we'll get Dumbledore. I sent him a message last night."

Hermione looked back at him, then nodded.

Lupin paused to gather his strength, then stood up. He pointed his wand at Snape, and said, "Mobilocorpus." Snape's form rose gently from the ground. Lupin gestured with his wand until Snape was upright, his toes hanging inches above the grass.

"I'll get his trunk and cloak," Hermione said, as she stood up beside him.

Lupin nodded, then he stepped forward, and took hold of Snape's arm. "I'll see you back at the gates," he said. Then he and Snape vanished, with a pop of air.

Lupin reappeared with Snape just outside the Hogwarts gates. He heard a pop as Hermione Apparated just behind him, her arm over the trunk. Lupin nodded at Hermione to go ahead of him, then he followed, guiding Snape's body through the gates. Then they started the long walk across the lawns.

_This isn't good_, he thought, _I can't take him into the building like this, he'll be seen, even if it is still early morning. I couldn't do that to him_. Lupin stopped, trying to think, and Hermione almost bumped into him.

"What is it?" she asked.

Lupin shook his head at her, trying to think of something. Then his eye caught movement ahead of them. _Oh no_, he thought, _someone's seen us_. Then he recognized Hagrid's huge shape, heading towards them across the lawn, and he said, out loud, "Ah, thank Merlin! Come on!" He walked quickly forwards, wand guiding the floating form of Snape.

"And just what might you all be up to?" Hagrid asked as Lupin reached him.

"Hagrid!" Lupin said, "It's a long story, but we need your help. Can we take Severus to your cottage, just for a little while, until we can get hold of Dumbledore and figure out what to do?"

Hagrid looked at Snape, floating unconscious, head lolling forward, then he looked back at Lupin, and raised a hairy eyebrow.

"Hagrid, please," Hermione said, "We can't let him be seen like this."

Hagrid nodded. "Tell you what. You two get him back to my place, and I'll see about getting hold of Dumbledore for you. He came back here this morning, early."

"Thank you, Hagrid," Lupin said. Hagrid strode off toward Hogwarts, while Lupin and Hermione made their way as quickly as possible to Hagrid's cottage. The door wasn't locked, it opened as soon as Hermione touched it. Fang, Hagrid's huge boarhound, looked up as they entered, but thumped his tail in recognition, and put his head back down.

Lupin guided Snape inside, and laid him gently down on Hagrid's bed. He pulled Snape's robes straight, and covered him with his cloak, the same cloak Snape had laid under Lupin's head, back in the clearing.

"We'll have to make sure he doesn't regain consciousness," Lupin said. He held his wand near Snape's head and whispered a Sleep Spell.

"We can't keep him asleep forever," Hermione said.

"Just until we decide what to do," Lupin said. "And no, I don't know what that is, right now. We need time to think."

Hermione nodded. They both pulled chairs over close to the bed, and sat down.

"I heard what he said, back there," Hermione said. "He's right. What else can we do but lock him up?"

"I'd let him go before I'd do that," Lupin said. Hermione nodded.

"It's just not fair," Hermione said, "He did so much, he's suffered so much, all these years. And no one cares."

Lupin smiled. "That's not entirely true. You care. And I care. And I don't think he was in this for accolades from the crowds."

"Harry doesn't care," Hermione said. "Even though Professor Snape has saved his life so many times."

"Severus went out of his way to make Harry hate him." Lupin looked over at Snape. "And Severus hates Harry. Harry represents everything that Severus wants, but believes he can never have."

"Harry doesn't even want to be Harry," Hermione said. "But, I suppose, Professor Snape sees Harry's father still, when he looks at Harry, doesn't he."

Lupin nodded, "Yes." He shrugged. And stood up. "I don't know about you, but I dashed out without any breakfast, and I could kill for a cup of tea." He set the tea kettle over the fire - it was still warm, and wouldn't take long to heat up.

The kettle was just starting to steam when he looked out the window and saw Hagrid striding back toward the cottage. And his heart soared as he recognized the tall figure of Albus Dumbledore, walking beside him.

Hagrid took over the tea-making from Lupin, while Dumbledore drew a chair over to where Lupin and Hermione were sitting, by Snape. "I see you were not able to persuade him, Remus," he said, sadly looking over at the long, black form on the bed.

"No," Lupin said. "He left this morning. I tried to talk to him, but he . . ." Lupin shrugged. "If Hermione hadn't been there, he'd be gone."

Dumbledore did not look away from Snape. He seemed very old and frail.

Lupin went on. "He sees no hope of any kind of future, or happiness. The things he's lived through are not things he can simply put behind him. He doesn't see himself fitting in anywhere. And he doesn't believe that can change."

Dumbledore still looked at Snape. "I know," he said, softly, barely more than a whisper. "He has endured-" Dumbledore shook his head "-unspeakable horrors." Dumbledore took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, then looked back at Snape.

"I needed a weapon," Dumbledore said, his voice thin, and distant. "I knew we would need someone who could get close to Voldemort. It had to be someone very intelligent. And very brave."

Lupin and Hermione watched him, in stunned silence. By the fireplace, Hagrid, too, was very still.

Dumbledore sighed. "I started looking at children before they even came to Hogwarts. I had many possibilities, at first, in the classes around yours, Remus. I thought, for a while, it might be Sirius, you know. But he was too volatile. He would never have survived. There were others, but in the end, I knew it would be Severus.

"I helped shape the man he became. I left him alone, at times when I knew he needed help desperately. There was a time when I thought he was lost altogether. But he did not fail me. He became what we so greatly needed. But, by shaping him, I failed him."

Lupin looked down. "He said, that what you would feel, mostly, if you found out he were dead, was guilt. And pity."

"Oh, much more than that," Dumbledore said. "I followed his life as closely as I followed Harry's. In his way, he was nearly as important."

"But now, the war is over, and the weapon is no longer needed," Lupin said. "Can the weapon be reshaped?"

"I do not know," Dumbledore said. "The damage in him is so deep, and it goes back so far."

All of them were silent.

"What can we do for him?" said Hermione. "I know that, in the Muggle world, he'd go to a therapist, a special healer, who'd help him work through everything. And there are drugs he might take, for a while."

"Much the same, in the wizard world," Dumbledore said, "There are healers, who deal with wounds of the spirit. Potions to temporarily ease the heartache."

"He won't talk to one," Lupin said. "He'd rather die, he's made that plain. And it's not something we can force him to do - it's not like a wound of the body, where we could tie him down and force healing potions into him. He has to cooperate. And he cannot bear the thought of being that vulnerable to anyone." He looked at Dumbledore. "Not even you, I think."

Dumbledore nodded. "He cannot bear the thought that I, or you, would turn from him in disgust. No matter how much we may assure him that we would not."

Lupin looked again at Snape, under the black cloak on the bed. The long face was blank now, even peaceful, for Snape. "I don't think it's the memories of being a Death Eater that are really the problem, for him," he said. "It's something deeper, and older. I think he believes, in his heart, that he is vile, and worthless. And yet he wants so much to be accepted, admired, liked." He looked at Dumbledore. "Loved."

"It is what made him vulnerable to Voldemort," Dumbledore said. "His hunger for love and acceptance."

"So that's where the problem really lies, isn't it," Lupin said. "Cure that, and he could deal with the rest, I think."

Hermione looked very thoughtful. "Could we make him a child again? That's where the damage is, isn't it? Could we work with him, at that level? Sort of overlay the things that were done wrong, the things that hurt him."

Dumbledore shook his head. "No. It is a good idea, but no. Taking a human body back to an earlier age is very complicated, and very, very dangerous. There are often terrible consequences, even when it is done for a short time. And for him, for what we would need to do, it would not be a short time, it could be years."

Lupin nodded, and said, "That's why you don't see witches and wizards performing youth spells on themselves."

"Of course," Hermione said, shaking her head, "I forgot, I wasn't thinking of it as a youth spell."

Hagrid came over from the fireplace with the tea kettle. "People are so complicated," he said, as he poured out cups of tea for each of them. "If we were talkin' about a dog, you know, one that's been hurt, so that it's lost its trust in people, you just give it a lot of love and kindness, and it'll come back to you. Just takes time, and patience, that's all."

Lupin froze, tea cup inches from his lips.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, "if it were only that easy. But, as you say, people are much more complicated. Severus more than most."

"But a dog is not," Lupin said. "Albus, I agree, a child would be too dangerous. But what about a dog? What if we turned him into a dog?"

Everyone turned to look at him.

"Think for a minute," Lupin went on. "We turn him into a dog, just for a while, maybe only a month or so. We take away his memories of being human, while he's a dog. When we turn him back, we take away all his memories of being a dog. But, during that time, we can try to heal him, as a dog. Like you said, Hagrid, give him the love and kindness he never got, at that level, the level of a dog, that deep down part of his mind. As a man, he would never accept it. But as a dog, with a dog's nature, he just might."

The other three all looked thoughtful.

"A dog would need no memories," Lupin said, "a dog would have instincts - the instincts of the dog's body. And he'd have those behaviors and feelings that have become instinctive to him as a man. That's the level we'd be working at, with him."

"The idea has possibilities," Dumbledore said. And he seemed to nod his head, just a little.

"It's a terrible thing to do to someone, force it on them," Hermione said. "But it's better than locking him up. We'd just have to make sure he never found out that this was done to him."

"Would you volunteer to take care of this dog, Remus?" Dumbledore said.

"Of course," Lupin said.

"I can think of no one better," Dumbledore said. "I think between you, Remus, Hermione, you have hit on a very novel and workable way of handling this problem." He looked over at Snape. "Although I do believe Severus is more of a cat, don't you think?"

"I am NOT dealing with that man as a cat," Lupin said. "Hermione," he added quickly as she was about to protest, "you know I think the world of Crookshanks. But you know the kind of cat Severus would turn out to be. Wandering out at all hours, only showing up at mealtimes. And he'd scratch and bite, we'd be covered in bandages." He looked at Snape. "We need a dog's nature for him, to help him. A dog's instincts."

"I think you are right," Dumbledore said. He put down his tea cup, and stood up. "I don't think I need to tell you all that you must agree to keep this completely secret." Lupin, Hermione and Hagrid all nodded. "Good. Madame Pomfrey will have to know as well, since she'll need to know this is not a real dog, but a transfigured human if anything happens to him. But no one else will know."

Dumbledore walked to the bedside, by Snape, and pulled the black cloak that was covering him to one side. "So I will change him into a dog. I will let his own nature choose the breed and appearance."

He raised his hands, and held them over Snape's body. He spoke no words, merely closed his eyes. And Snape's form seemed to melt and flow like water, quickly, drawing into itself, losing all resemblance to a human, or to anything. And then, just as quickly, it drew out again, forming into long legs, a face that lengthened out to a muzzle.

All of them were standing, watching. Lupin held his breath, and stepped closer to the bed, feeling Hermione step beside him, Hagrid close behind, looking over them all.

Within only a few seconds, where the man had been, there was a large, black dog. But nothing like the large, black dog Sirius had been. Sirius had been a great, bulky creature, almost more bear than dog.

What was there now was completely different. This creature was thin, skeletally thin. All bones and whipcord muscles under long, lank, black hair. Long thin legs, a long thin body, a long, bony head with a great Roman nose, like a borzoi. It was ugly, it had an evil look about it. Lupin glanced over at Hermione, and she, too, was clearly taken aback by the dog's appearance.

Hagrid sucked in his breath. "That's a Spectral Hound," he said, amazement in his voice. "I've only seen one or two, they're that rare. They're the special guard dogs of the Dark Wizarding families."

"Can't we make him look a little more . . . I mean, not so . . ." Hermione said.

"Ugly," Lupin finished for her. "He's been cursed with bad looks as a human-"

"He's not ugly," Hagrid said, leaning closer, "he's beautiful. You just have to learn to look at him the right way."

Lupin and Hermione looked at each other. "Of course," Lupin said, "it's not so important, for a dog. Ugly, I mean, dogs that aren't conventionally attractive," he said, with a glance at Hagrid, "can still be endearing, after all. Maybe it's better that he be like that. And learn to be content with it."

"You and he will return to Hogwarts now, Remus," Dumbledore said, turning to them. "I'll take you back, so you won't be seen. I'll let everyone know at breakfast that Severus is gone. And that you'll be taking care of this dog. I'll tell them that I have given you a project, that you're fostering the dog, and rehabilitating it, so that it can be placed with a permanent family later. It is not far from the actual truth."

Dumbledore held up a hand, and the dog that had been Snape floated up off the bed. He nodded at Lupin.

And suddenly, the three of them were back in Lupin's rooms. It didn't feel like Apparating, but then, it couldn't be, could it, it was something else, that only Dumbledore knew how to do. Lupin shook his head, still feeling a little dizzy, while Dumbledore floated the big dog over to the sofa, and let it down gently. Its long legs hung over the sides, and the bony head lolled flat. Lupin knelt down beside the sofa.

"He'll be unconscious for a while yet," Dumbledore said. "And I've put an additional spell on him so that he'll be very groggy and weak for several days afterwards. This is an enormous shock to his body, and he'll need to recover from it."

"And it's not a bad thing for him to be dependent on me for a while," Lupin said, feeling a little guilty.

"I'll arrange for your meals to be sent in for the next few days."

Lupin nodded, staring at the black creature on his sofa.

"Remember, he isn't really a dog," Dumbledore said, quietly. "He's a transfigured human. He may not have his memories, and the dog's brain will cloud his thinking somewhat, but he is still a man, in that dog's body. But you know what that feels like yourself."

Lupin nodded. "I'll treat him with respect." He smiled, "I suspect he'll demand it."

Dumbledore smiled, a little sadly. "Then I leave him with you, Remus. I know he's in the best care he could ever have."

"Thank you, sir. I'll do my best."

And Dumbledore was gone. Just like that.

Lupin sighed, and sat down on the sofa, by the dog's head. "Poor Sev-" he stopped himself. _I can't call him that. I need to give him a name, I'll have to think of a name for him, that I can call him in front of people_. An evil part of his mind said, "_Mr. Fluffy_," and he couldn't help smiling. "No, I wouldn't do that to you," he said.

The dog gave a whimper, though still asleep. Lupin's hand automatically rose, and touched the bony head, and began to gently rub behind the ears. "It's a rotten trick we're playing on you, my friend," he said softly, "I promise, we won't let you remember any of it, and I'll never, ever tell you about it."

The dog whimpered again, and pushed its head against his hand, nosing into his lap. Lupin settled deep into the sofa cushions, and let the dog's head lay against his stomach, all the while keeping his hand rubbing softly against its head, stroking around the eye ridges and along the long, bony nose, moving back behind the ears, rubbing against the lank, black hair. The dog's chest rose and fell in easy breathing, and it pressed against him.

"Good boy," Lupin said, softly. "You're a good boy."

xxx

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 7

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: December 8, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapters - nothing is mine, it's all J.K. Rowling's.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Patti and Michelle for beta reading. And thanks again to everyone who has reviewed - I pay close attention to all your comments. Plus I look at all your home pages and check out your favorite stories!

Author's Note: This chapter was more troublesome than I expected - the previous two chapters just poured out and I did relatively little editing (granted, I'd been thinking about them since the beginning of the story). But this one is kind of slow and dull. Plus, while I knew I was going to have people talking about the consequences of what they did in the last chapter, based on some of ya'll's comments, I figured I needed to go into things a little deeper than I'd originally intended. Hope I've answered most of your concerns (not all, some things you're just going to have to wait for ).

x-x-x

Chapter 7

Lupin looked down at the dog, at the bony head that lay in his lap. Big, jutting, pointed nose, covered in short, black hair that grew longer behind the jaw, longer still at neck and body, not the thick ruff that Lupin himself had as a wolf, but flat and lank, barely covering the bone and sinewy muscles below. But soft and silky, he had to admit, as he rubbed the hair between his fingers. Such a strange animal, like a living skeleton. _Is it because it's starved, or is this natural for the breed_, Lupin wondered. The dog's long legs hung over the side of the sofa, all bone and whipcord muscle, the paws were big and splayed, with toenails that were more like claws.

Lupin kept rhythmically rubbing the dog's head, moving around the ears, down along the jaw, and occasionally going further back to neck and sides, letting it get used to being touched. The dog hadn't moved or made a sound from the time it had pushed into Lupin's lap, the only motion was the soft rising and falling of its side as it breathed. Lupin didn't want to disturb it, he sat just as still himself, only moving his hand along the dog's head.

Unfortunately, Lupin was going to have to move, and soon. His bladder was uncomfortably full - all that tea he'd had at Hagrid's. _I'll move quickly_, he thought, _just a quick nip into the bathroom. He's asleep, he won't even know I'm gone_. He kept rubbing the bony head with one hand, then slipped his other hand under the dog's chin. He lifted up the heavy head, and slid out from under it, laying it back down on the sofa when he was clear. A few more rubs around the ears, then Lupin quietly stood up.

He was finished in the bathroom in a matter of minutes, and slipped quietly back into the sitting room.

The dog was no longer on the sofa.

Lupin panicked. His eyes went immediately to the hallway door, but that was closed. And spelled closed, too - he'd worked a charm earlier so that only he could open it - so the dog couldn't have left his chambers. He had to still be in here.

The bedroom? He looked, peering under the bed, in the closet, but the dog was not there. He had to be out in the sitting room somewhere.

Just as Lupin came back, the bathroom door suddenly opened. _But I left it open_, he thought, _who closed it?_ A long, black nose appeared around the bottom of the door. Lupin watched, mouth open in astonishment, as the dog crawled on its belly out the bathroom door and began to head, slowly and deliberately, back to the sofa.

Lupin peaked around the bathroom door. Water was swirling in the toilet, everything was completely neat and clean. _Well_, he shrugged, _that will make things easier_.

He turned back. The dog was still crawling across the room. Lupin tried to pick him up, but the dog shrugged him away, and kept crawling. _How odd_, thought Lupin, _he's not even surprised. Shouldn't he be at least puzzled, that his body is different, it isn't working the way it ought to? But no, he's moving as if he's very familiar with this_.

_Because he is familiar with this_, Lupin realized, with horror. _How many nights has he spent crawling to the bathroom, and then hauling himself back up onto the sofa because it's lower to the floor than the bed. And crawling isn't so different, between a dog's body and a man's. Particularly if the man's body isn't working right_.

The dog reached the sofa and managed to pull itself back up. It lay on its side, as it had before. _Not all that different from the way a man would lie, in a fetal position_, Lupin realized, _I didn't notice before_.

The dog began nosing around on the sofa, and made a questioning sound in its throat. _He's looking for me_, Lupin thought, and he quickly sat down. The dog pushed its head back into his lap, and sighed. _Poor Severus_, Lupin thought, _poor Sev_.

Lupin suddenly had a flash of memory, of himself, as a child, lying in his own mother's arms during the full moon, in wolf form, when he was still too young to be dangerous. _Did your mother hold you, Severus? Did you ever lay with your head in her lap, and feel her fingers ruffling your hair? I guess I can be your mother for now. You know you're safe with me. We just have to show you that you're safe with other people_.

A soft pop of air, and there was Dobby with a tray.

"Dobby is bringing breakfast, Professor Lupin," Dobby said. He crooked a finger, and a side table slid over from the wall until it was within Lupin's reach. Dobby set the tray on top of it.

"Dobby is bringing Professor Lupin's meals," Dobby said, "And Dobby has been told about Professor Lupin's dog." He looked carefully at the big black creature on the sofa as he said that, then back at Lupin. "This is a very special dog," he said, with a significant tone. _He knows_, Lupin thought, with a groan. _Can't really expect to fool a House Elf, though, can I?_

"Yes, Dobby," Lupin said, "He is very special."

Dobby peered closely, examining the sleeping dog from nose to tail. "This is a Spectral Hound. They is very vicious, very fierce." He looked at Lupin. "But they is also very loyal, very protective, to their masters."

Lupin nodded. That sounded like Severus, after all. "Maybe we can teach this one that he doesn't need to be vicious."

Dobby reached forward with a tiny hand, to run his long fingers along the dog's nose. The dog opened one eye - a dog's eye, but black as Severus's eyes had been - and started a little, but Lupin said, "It's all right," softly, and the dog relaxed. Dobby ran his hand around the ears, down the neck and along the sides. He gave a nod of approval. "Dobby is knowing about these dogs. Dobby's old masters-" and he gave a shudder here "-they is having dogs like this. Dobby is bringing some things for him."

"Thank you, Dobby," Lupin said, "That will be a big help."

"And," Dobby added, turning back to the tray, "Dobby is bringing some food and water for him now. And bread and milk."

"Is milk all right for dogs?" Lupin asked. He felt a little silly, you'd think a werewolf would know all about dog care, but in fact he knew very little. Werewolves were not dogs.

"Spectral Hounds is eating anything," Dobby said, with a sinister edge to his voice. "And, even if they isn't, this dog, Professor Lupin," with another significant look, "this dog is eating anything a human can."

Lupin nodded. "I see. Thank you, Dobby. I'm glad I know someone who knows the right way to care for him."

"Leave it to Dobby. Dobby is bringing everything Professor Lupin needs. And Dobby is knowing to keep things secret." Dobby tapped his nose with his long finger.

"I know I can trust you, Dobby."

Dobby smiled, and then vanished.

Lupin ate quickly, feeling more ravenous then ever. He tried to get the dog to eat, but it wouldn't wake. He was able to get it to open its mouth and swallow a few spoonfuls of milk, at least. He tried rolling up bread into balls and dipping it in milk, but the dog turned its head away when he offered it. _Let him sleep_, he thought.

He was drifting off to sleep himself when the air popped and Dobby appeared again, holding a bag. "Dobby is bringing things for the dog, Professor Lupin," he said, putting the bag by the desk. "And one other thing," Dobby's face looked very serious. He snapped his fingers, and, suddenly, several empty shelves against the wall were now filled with books.

"Professor Snape is asking that these books be sent to Professor Lupin today," Dobby said, glancing at the dog.

Lupin stared at the books for a moment. "Yes," he said, "Yes, he told me. Thank you, Dobby, I'm taking care of them for him. And thank you again for the supplies."

Dobby nodded, then vanished again.

Lupin looked at the books, and his stomach felt empty, despite being full of food. He looked down at the dog's head, still in his lap, eyes closed. _That's how you planned for me to find out, Severus_, he thought. _No note, no anything. Just the books_.

_Of course, he thought he'd be dead by now_. Lupin's hand closed around the dog's skull for a moment. _You're here, you're not dead, you're going to live_, he thought. The dog's eyes opened, barely, looking up at him. Lupin went back to gently rubbing its ears, and the dog's eyes closed.

He dozed some after that, he and the dog together. He had only just opened his eyes, and was wondering what time it was, when he heard a soft knocking at the door, and a voice said, "It's Hermione."

"Come in," he said, softly - those words would undo the spell on the door.

The door opened, just enough to allow Hermione to slip through, and she closed it quickly behind her. She looked more her normal self than she had this morning, she'd clearly had a wash and a change, and hopefully some breakfast.

"How's he doing?" she asked.

"Still asleep," Lupin said.

Hermione pulled a chair over and sat down. "Hagrid's keeping his trunk and cloak down at his place."

Lupin nodded. "Good. So no one will know he hasn't really left Hogwarts."

Hermione nodded. Her eyes turned to the dog.

"This is a terrible thing we've done to him," she said.

"I know." Lupin sighed. "One more terrible thing, in a long string of terrible things that have been done to him."

Hermione was quiet. She pulled her knees up, into the chair, and wrapped her arms around them. "It's not fair. That Dumbledore let him become this."

"Dumbledore didn't force him to make any of the choices he made. He just didn't intervene when he might have. He usually doesn't. He lets people make their own choices." Lupin looked sadly at the dog's head in his lap. "He can't really do anything else, can he? We all act as if he's all-knowing, we forget that he's human, just one man, no matter how remarkable. He can't be there for everyone. No one can." Lupin looked into the dog's face. "I think Severus would say he made his own choices, freely."

"Did he really? Have a chance to make choices? Did he have the same chances that you or I had?" Hermione said.

"No," Lupin said, "but no one has the same chances." He was still looking at the dog's face. "But I agree, he had worse than most. I am amazed that he has turned out as well as he has, given what he's had to overcome."

"It's not fair," Hermione said.

"No, it isn't," Lupin said, "But life is not fair. Believe me, I know."

"I know you do," Hermione said quietly.

"If you're going to blame anyone, blame Voldemort," Lupin said.

Hermione nodded. "Except that he came from an awful life, too. Raised alone, in an orphanage."

"That's the problem with blaming people. It's never that simple." Lupin cocked his head. "Although I will say that there have been plenty of other children who were raised in orphanages and had lonely lives who did not turn into evil, murderous dark wizards who wanted to take over the world. But even that is probably too simple."

He scrunched down into the sofa, and pulled the dog's head closer, wrapped his arms around the thin neck. "And there are not very many who turned to the dark who still had the sense of what was good and right, and the courage to turn back." He looked into the dog's face, and watched as the lids blinked, and opened, and the dog looked back into his eyes. Lupin was very still. Then the eyes closed again, and the dog leaned against him, pushing more of its body into Lupin's lap, and its head up further against Lupin's chest.

Lupin held the dog's head to him "I know Severus never blamed Dumbledore."

The dog sighed, the big chest rising, and falling slowly.

"And now," Lupin said, "we see if we can give him the ability to be happy. Or at least content."

"By doing this to him," Hermione said. "By forcing this on him. And taking away his memories. As if we're so sure we know what's best for him. How dare we?"

Lupin's eyes looked fierce for a moment. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep him from going into that mountain, or seeing him locked up."

"He'll know that a part of his life is missing. When we bring him back."

"We'll make something up. Tell him he's been unconscious the whole time, while some kind of therapy was being done. It's close enough to the truth."

"But it's still a lie."

"So we lie." Lupin sighed. "Look, I don't like this. And maybe we can tell him, someday. But only if it won't hurt him. I'm not going to confess all to him just to relieve my guilty conscience, not if it will hurt him."

"And how would you feel, if we all ganged up on you, decided what was best for you, and did something like this without your permission?"

"Given my affliction," Lupin said, dryly, "that's not exactly an unlikely scenario. And if you, and Dumbledore, and Hagrid, and Severus all agreed that I was in peril, that I was incapable of deciding rationally for myself, and that something this drastic had to be done to me, I'd say that I was lucky to have such good friends. And that I know I could place my fate in your hands without a qualm."

Hermione frowned at him.

"I trust you, Hermione," Lupin said, "I trust Dumbledore, I trust Hagrid, I trust Severus. And I'd certainly trust any decision the four of you came up with." He shrugged. "But you're absolutely right about one thing. Always be very wary of anything that people say they're doing 'for your own good.' Those are very dangerous words."

Hermione nodded. "It reminds me of that awful Umbridge woman. It's the kind of thing she would say."

Lupin smiled. "I'm so glad I never met her." He shrugged again. "Too often, we don't get to choose between a good choice and a bad choice. Mostly, it's between a bad choice, and an even worse one."

"I know," Hermione said, "I'm sorry, I'm not blaming you, not at all, and I agreed to this, too. It's just . . ."

"It's just that you want to make sure we all know it's a bad choice, and we're aware of why it's bad." Lupin nodded. "We do and we are. But we have done it now, we've made the choice." He looked into the dog's face. "So now we will tell him how good he is, what a hero he is. Let him learn to feel safe around people."

"He won't remember," Hermione said.

"He won't remember that we told him anything, but he'll feel it in his heart. Or at least, that's the idea."

Hermione nodded. "You know," she said, thoughtfully, "if he gets a wash and a good brushing, and maybe a little food into him, he might not be that bad looking. For a dog."

She moved closer, raised her hand, and moved it slowly towards the bony, black head.

Instantly, the dog pulled back to the opposite corner of the sofa, pressing into the cushions, quivering, terrified.

Hermione drew back immediately, crouching low, trying to look harmless, no threat.

"It's all right," Lupin said gently to the dog, but to Hermione as well, "It's all right." He held his hand out to the frightened creature, and met the black eyes with his own. The dog stopped shaking, and stood very still. Lupin moved his hand closer, still speaking softly, stopping just in front of the dog's long nose. "That's right, smell my hand," he said, "You know me."

The dog looked at him. Then leaned forward and touched Lupin's hand with its nose. The dog breathed in deeply, once, slowly. Then he slid his nose under Lupin's hand, letting Lupin's fingers glide up along the bony front, over the skull, until Lupin was able to rub his fingers behind the ears. Lupin moved down the sofa, closer, and the dog leaned his head against Lupin's chest, while Lupin dug his fingers deep into the long, straggly hair of the dog's neck, until the dog was breathing softly again, and its eyes closed.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Hermione whispered.

"It's all right," Lupin said, "Just shows how far we have to go with him. He's got to be frightened now, everything is strange to him. Once he's used to this, he'll be better."

Hermione nodded. "But he was afraid of me, he was terrified."

Lupin smiled. "You're a pretty, young woman. Of course he's terrified."

Hermione flushed, then looked thoughtful. "I suppose the girls weren't very nice to him, back at school."

"No."

She looked down. "You know," she said, "there are times when I think people are just horrible."

Lupin leaned back into the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. "People are horrible, and wonderful, and everything in between."

"I suppose so." Hermione looked over at the clock, and started. "I'd better go, it's almost lunch time, and Harry will be looking for me. We don't want him looking here, not today." She nodded at the dog. "If he acted that way towards me, who knows how he'll act towards Harry."

Lupin nodded. "It'll have to happen sometime, but yes, not today, not until he gets used to being like this."

"I'll make sure Harry doesn't come, then." Hermione stood up. She walked across the room, opened the door, and shut it quietly behind her.

Lupin dozed a little after that, he and the dog together. He woke up when Dobby brought lunch. He ate, and was able to spoon-feed a little of some mushy stuff in a bowl to the dog, who woke up just enough to swallow. The dog drank a little water as well, although at first he tried to fit his mouth around the rim of the bowl, as if he were drinking from a glass. Lupin, careful not to laugh, patiently maneuvered the bowl under his mouth, and pushed his nose in, and the dog managed a few swallows.

Then they both settled back on the sofa. Lupin called a book over from the shelf, and sat quietly reading, holding the book in one hand, stroking the dog's head with the other.

And so the afternoon passed, and evening came. Dinner was a repeat of lunch, as far as feeding the dog was concerned. _He's going to expect me to spoon-feed him all the time after this_, Lupin thought.

The dilemma came when Lupin was tired enough to go to bed. _Dog on the sofa_, he thought, _me in the bed. Dogs aren't supposed to sleep in the bed, not big ones, right? Doesn't it make them think they're pack dominants if that happens? He's already bad enough that way, I don't want to encourage it._

The dog was sleeping, side rising and falling. Lupin carefully slid out from under, propping a pillow under the big head. He walked slowly and silently toward the bedroom, only to stop in mid-step at a heart-rending whimper.

He turned. The dog's head was up, awake, and it looked at him with the most pleading eyes he'd ever seen.

He sighed. _Either he sleeps with me on the bed, or I have to spend the night on the sofa_. "All right." _I can't say just for tonight, either_, he thought, _because that won't happen_. He went back to the sofa, and picked the dog up, not an easy thing to do, the dog was large and very heavy, and Lupin still wasn't up to full strength yet. Staggering a little, he carried the dog into the bedroom, and laid it on the bed.

The dog lifted its head, and watched as he pulled off his robes, and headed into the bathroom.

When he came out of the bathroom, the dog was under the covers, head on the pillow. Lupin mentally threw up his hands. He pulled on his nightshirt and slid into bed, calling out the command to extinguish the lights.

The dog moved close to him, its back against his side. Lupin sighed, and reached an arm over the skinny body. "Well, we're packmates, aren't we, my friend," Lupin said, "packmates sleep together." The dog shifted against him, and Lupin couldn't help adding, with a grin, "I hope this doesn't give you any funny thoughts when you're human again, though." The dog turned its head to look at him, then laid it back down on the pillow. Lupin gave it a few pats on the side. And soon both of them were asleep.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 8

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: December 15, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapters - nothing is mine, it's all J.K. Rowling's.

Acknowledgements: Thanks, as always, to Michelle and Patti for beta reading.

Author's Note: I want to really thank everyone who's reviewed me - you are a tremendous help to me, you let me know that what I'm doing is coming across the way I want it to. It's been a real boost to my confidence in my writing abilities. So, thank you, thank you, thank you.

x-x-x

Chapter 8

Hermione took one last look at Lupin as he sat on the couch, the black dog that had been Professor Snape asleep in his lap. Then she quietly shut the door.

_Is it only noon? _she thought as she walked down the corridor. It felt like a lifetime had passed since the day had started, when she'd been awakened by the alarm from the mirror. She suddenly felt exhausted, and she leaned against the cool, stone wall. _I'll feel better with some lunch in me_, she thought. And she willed herself to stand upright and walk down the corridor.

The Great Hall was beginning to fill up with students. Harry and Ron were just sitting down at the Gryffindor table - Harry waved at her as she came through the doorway. The room was bright today, the ceiling above showed a brilliant blue sky, dotted with puffy clouds. She'd hardly noticed the weather this morning, there'd been too much else to worry about.

She sat down with Harry and Ron. A lot of the other summer students sat down around them - Harry and Ron's Quiddich playing friends, mostly. Harry seemed bright and awake, but Ron was quiet.

"Anything wrong?" Hermione asked him.

Ron winced. "No, not really. It's just . . ." He sighed. "Well, Mum's decided that if I'm well enough to play Quiddich every day, I'm well enough to get a job. So, after this week, I'll be working for my brothers, Fred and George, helping out at their shop."

There was an awkward silence for a moment. Ron had been almost a sure pick for professional Quiddich, until he'd been wounded at Hogsmeade by the Death Eaters. It had been his dream, to play, and now there was very little chance for it.

"I know working at Fred and George's shop isn't what you want to do with your life," Hermione said, a little too brightly, "but it will be very good experience. I bet you'll learn loads there, and it'll help you when you decide what you really want to do." Her voice dwindled off.

Harry threw her a disgusted look, but Ron shrugged and said, "Yeah, that's how I figure it. I've been thinking, I'd like to get into Quiddich supplies, maybe have a shop of my own, or work in the manufacturing end. Working for Fred and George will help me either way." He grinned, bravely, "It was bound to happen, I can't put off the real world anymore. All my brothers were working right out of school." He looked at Harry. "I can still pop over here after work, though, now that I'm legal to Apparate, so you won't be rid of me."

Harry was quiet. Hermione said, quickly, "I'm counting on us all getting together in the evenings, when training starts for Harry and me in the fall."

"You'll still be coming by, for the rest of the summer, won't you, Hermione?" Harry asked.

Hermione gulped. "Well, my parents really want me to go on vacation with them, the last month of summer." She looked at Harry. "It's been hard for them, you know, sending me off to school here, not seeing me for most of the year." She bit her lip. She hadn't counted on Ron not being here for Harry. "I can pop over here, though, anytime. Or you can Apparate over to where I am, too. You'll be legal at the end of the month."

Harry's face looked pained. _We're abandoning him_, Hermione thought.

"You won't be alone here," she said, desperately. "You've got Hagrid and Dobby and Professor Lupin here with you."

"Yeah, speaking of Professor Lupin," Ron said, "Did you hear? He's going to be taking care of a dog. That should be fun, maybe you could help him with it."

"A dog?" Harry said, "What for?"

"Dunno," Ron said, "I heard it was just temporary, he's not keeping it. Just as well, being a werewolf and all, probably can't keep pets long term. Too much danger of them being eaten, I'd guess." He brightened up. "Later today, let's go by and see him, take a look at it."

"No, Ron, we can't," Hermione said, quickly. Harry and Ron both looked at her. "I heard about the dog, too, and it's, well," she tried to think, franticly, "It's been badly treated, and Professor Lupin is going to work on rehabilitating it. But he needs time alone with it, to let it get used to him first." Harry and Ron both looked skeptical. "But I'm sure, once it's settled in, Professor Lupin would like you to help him," she finished.

Ron shrugged. "Okay, so we don't go see him today." Harry shrugged as well. He looked disappointed.

Plates of food suddenly appeared before them, and they began to serve themselves. Ron glanced up at the High Table. He blinked, grinned, and nudged Harry. "Look who's not up there today."

Harry and Hermione turned to look. Harry shook his head, "Who? Even Dumbledore's here, for a change."

Ron shook his head. "Over to the left. His Greasy Gitness is gone."

Hermione froze.

"He left this morning," a voice said coolly. They turned, and saw Blaise Zabini watching them, from where he sat further along the table. "He told us he was leaving, and that whenever he left, it would be sudden. He didn't want any fuss."

Ron's eyes gleamed, and he opened his mouth, and Hermione said, firmly, "Don't say it, Ron. Don't say anything." Ron looked at her, then at Blaise, and closed his mouth.

Harry's face was dark, as he stared at the empty chair at the High Table.

"I know you didn't like him," Blaise said, "He didn't give you reason to. But he protected us, as best he could. We always knew."

Hermione nodded. "We understand." She glared at Harry and Ron. Ron glared back at her, but didn't take it any further, and began to concentrate on the food on his plate.

Harry continued to stare at the High Table. "I'm sick of you defending him," he said, under his breath, eyes sliding sideways to Hermione. "How can you?"

"How many times has he saved your life?" Hermione said, tartly.

"Sirius is dead because of him," Harry said, anger dripping from every word.

"That's not true," Hermione said.

"Of course it's true," Harry said, "He wasn't fit to lick Sirius's feet, and he as good as killed him. I hate him, the bastard. I hope he runs his broomstick into a cliff and breaks his neck."

Hermione felt hot rage flow up her face to the crown of her head, "You just want to have someone else to blame, because you can't face up to it that it's YOUR fault Sirius is dead!"

Harry pulled back, thunderstruck. Ron's mouth dropped open.

Hermione put her face in her hands, "Oh Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, not like that. I'm just very tired today." She looked up at him. "But don't you see, it's not anyone's fault. Or maybe it's everyone's fault. I didn't think to go to Professor Snape either, that day. If we'd just gone to him, he'd have found out that Sirius was safe. We'd have never gone to the Ministry."

She took a deep breath. "And we'd never have defeated Voldemort that day, too. Or we might have faced Voldemort another day, for another reason, and Sirius could have fallen then. Or not. We'll never know." She looked at Harry, her eyes pleading.

Harry's face was almost black with rage. He stood up from the table, eyes boring into Hermione's face. Then he turned and walked stiffly toward the doorway.

"What did you go and do that for?" Ron said angrily to Hermione. "How could you say that to him?"

"Because it's true," Hermione said. She shook her head. "I wish I'd said it better, and picked a better time, but it's true."

"Rubbish!" Ron said, "It's not true at all!" He looked at her, "You'd think you were in love with that greasy bastard, the way you've defended him all these years. Well, I'm with Harry, if he broke his neck, the world would be a better place."

Hermione turned pale. She took a deep breath. Then, very slowly and deliberately, she stood up from the table. She took another deep breath, then walked toward the Great Hall entrance.

Ron watched her, stunned. And around him, he heard the sound of other people rising, up and down the table. He turned, and saw Blaise, and the other Slytherins, all standing, all looking pointedly at him. Then they all silently picked up their plates, and carried them over to the Slytherin table.

Ron looked up and down the now nearly deserted Gryffindor table. _So much for Quiddich this afternoon_, he thought, glumly.

x-x-x

It was the next morning. Lupin stirred, and became aware of the big, furry shape huddled against him. For a moment, he panicked - _I'm back with the werewolf pack!_ Then he remembered, and breathed a sigh of relief.

He opened his eyes. The black dog lay still, head on the pillow, back pressed against him. Lupin smiled, and rubbed his fingers through the silky hair. _That was the one good thing about the pack_, he thought, _being able to lie close together, all of them, rank forgotten, just the comfort of all those warm, furry bodies_.

There was also the odor of dog. He'd have to give him a bath soon. That was going to be an experience.

He stretched, then sat up. The dog still slept, bony ribs rising and falling under the blankets. Lupin quietly swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He pulled off his nightshirt, and padded into the bathroom.

When he came back, opening the bathroom door and reaching for his robes, the dog lifted its head from the pillow and looked at him. Lupin bowed and gestured at the bathroom, "All yours."

The dog struggled out from under the covers. Its face had a dazed, sleepy look, and it shook its head, ears flapping, straggly hair swinging around its face. Then it swung its hind end off the bed, reaching with hind paws towards the floor - not the way a dog would jump down, but like a man, swinging his legs to the ground.

Only for the hind legs to skid and slide apart. Lupin darted forward and caught the dog by the chest, only just in time to stop it from falling hard. The dog's eyes were wide and frightened, and it leaned against Lupin's chest and gave a soft whimper.

"Careful," Lupin said, "You're not used to this yet." He turned the dog's body until its legs hung down. "Here, let's see if you can stand up." He gently straightened each quivering leg, making sure each paw connected with the floor, all the while holding the dog's body against his chest with his other arm. He tentatively let a little weight free to be supported by the shaky legs. _So far, so good_, he thought, _they held_. He let a little more weight fall, and a little more.

Too much. The dog's legs slid out and his belly whacked against the floor. The dog's whole body was shaking now, in confusion and fear. _And frustration_, Lupin couldn't help thinking, looking at the dog's face.

"It's all right," Lupin said, soothingly, "That was my fault, I shouldn't have let go all the way like that, you weren't ready." He reached under the dog's belly and pulled him up again. Not so easy to do, the dog was big and heavy. The dog tried to help, pawing with his long legs, trying to get a fix against the floor, but only succeeded in getting tangled up. Lupin held him very still, and managed to pull each leg free, and position them again.

"Now, let's try it again," Lupin crooned. This time, the dog managed to keep his legs straight, and Lupin was able to let him take all his own weight, although Lupin still kept his arm around the dog's body, holding him steady.

The dog still shook. But his face wasn't frightened anymore. Instead, it bore an all too familiar expression of anger. And determination. Lupin remembered that look, from when Snape was a boy, about to challenge James in something that was only going to result in Snape getting pummeled, but he'd still do it anyway. Lupin couldn't help shaking his head at the memory. _That anger was so often your undoing_, Lupin thought, _it would make you do such stupid things. But it's also your drive, it's what sustains you_.

The dog took one hesitant step forward, with one front paw, and Lupin had to catch him again to keep him from falling. _You have four legs to keep track of now, my friend, not just two_.

The dog looked wildly around - what now? "The back leg, here," Lupin said, touching it with his free arm. The dog moved it forward. This time, he stayed up.

"Now the other front leg," Lupin said, tapping it lightly with a finger. The dog moved it - lift, forward, place paw, put weight down. "Good boy," Lupin crooned again.

He looked up and sighed. It was going to be a long way to the bathroom.

x-x-x

Sev-the-Dog, as Lupin began to call him in his mind - _have to come up with another name soon_, Lupin told himself - was able to move on his own, though very hesitantly and carefully, by the time Dobby came with their breakfast. Lupin started, as Dobby popped into the room, and Lupin turned to the dog, who was standing only a few feet away. But the dog simply glanced at Dobby, unconcerned. Lupin couldn't help but feel puzzled - granted, the dog hadn't reacted much to Dobby yesterday, but he'd been practically asleep.

Dobby grinned, and said, "Professor Lupin should not be worrying, that one is not being afraid of Dobby." Then Dobby looked more serious. "That one, he is often afraid, in his heart. Of many things. But never of Dobby, or any of the House Elves. He knows we is not hurting him, he is always knowing that."

And sure enough, the dog merely watched calmly as Dobby set the breakfast tray on a table. Lupin wondered, _Did you have House Elves in your home, Severus, as a boy?_ The Snapes were one of the oldest of the old Wizard families, surely that came with House Elves.

The tray deposited, Dobby approached the dog where it stood, and bowed, then extended a long-fingered hand. The dog leaned forward, and touched the end of one finger with the tip of its nose, then allowed Dobby to trace along its face, over the eyes, and down the back of its head.

"See, Professor Lupin," Dobby said, "He is knowing. Dobby is his friend, Dobby is keeping his secrets."

"I see," Lupin said, "I'm glad, Dobby. He doesn't have many friends."

Dobby nodded. He bowed again to the dog, then turned back to Lupin, smiled, and popped out.

Something in Lupin rebelled at making Sev-the-Dog eat on the floor. Probably because he didn't care for it himself when he was in wolf form. _He's still a human being, no matter what he looks like_. But people would question if he allowed him to pull up a chair and eat at a table, and, in any case, the only chairs that were big enough were the big, overstuffed ones by the fireplace. Lupin solved the dilemma by pulling over an ottoman close to the sofa. After a moment's thought, he covered the ottoman with a napkin from the tray. Thinking further, he put another napkin on top of it. Then he put the two bowls Dobby had brought on top - one had milk in it, the other, some kind of mushy stuff.

Sev-the-Dog climbed up onto the sofa, with a little help from Lupin, and positioned himself in front of the bowls. And there was the puzzled look again.

Lupin sighed. _Might as well get comfortable_, he thought, and he moved his own chair over by the sofa, pulling the table with his own breakfast close by. He picked up a large spoon, and dipped it into the mush. Sev-the-Dog leaned forward and delicately took the spoon into his mouth, closing his lips around the bowl like a human, then pulling back and releasing the spoon. A moment savoring the stuff, then a swallow. Black eyes looked coolly at Lupin, then flicked down to the bowl, and up again. _Typical_, thought Lupin. _He's not feeling degraded at all at being spoon-fed, he's taking it as his due_.

He dipped the spoon in again, but held it lower to the bowl. Sev-the-Dog looked at him imperiously, but Lupin said, "Oh no, you reach down and get it." He could swear the dog actually glared at him, but it lowered its head with great dignity, and took the spoon.

Bite by bite, Lupin lowered the spoon, until it was in the bowl, and then he removed the spoon altogether. "No, you get it yourself now," he said, sternly, as the dog looked up at him. The dog glared again, then looked down at the bowl. Up at him, down at the bowl. Then down went the big head, the black lips opened, and he took a bite of mush. Lupin was about to say, "Good boy" but the black eyes glared up at him, as if to say, "Don't you dare" so Lupin merely nodded his head respectfully.

And then turned to his own meal. Which, thankfully, consisted of a lot of things he could eat with his fingers, since he'd forbidden the spoon to the dog. Bacon, toast, juice, tea. There were scrambled eggs, too, but he scooped them up with a piece of bread. And when Sev-the-Dog looked with extreme interest at whatever he was eating, he'd pass a nibble his way. _Dobby did say he should be able to eat human food_, he thought, _and it's just a few bites_. Fortunately, Sev-the-Dog had not yet picked up the classic dog eyes. _Would he ever?_ Lupin wondered. Lupin himself had mastered the Look years ago, and used it frequently, but somehow, he couldn't picture this dog, or Severus, ever learning it.

And when Sev-the-Dog had licked the bowls clean and Lupin was just settling back in his chair with a cup of tea, the dog looked at him, then looked at the place on the sofa where Lupin had sat the day before, then back at Lupin. Lupin sighed, and smiled, and moved over to the sofa, and the dog stretched out, and laid his head back in Lupin's lap. _Another day on the sofa_, Lupin thought. _Good thing for you I'm still a recovering invalid, or this would drive me crazy. I haven't left the room for over 24 hours now_. He picked up his book and began to read, his free hand idly rubbing the dog's ears.

Suddenly, there was a burst of colored flames in the fireplace, and Hermione's face appeared in the middle of the flickering lights. She looked very tired, as if she hadn't slept well.

Lupin sat up. Beside him, Sev-the-Dog lifted his head sharply, and he pressed against Lupin, muscles tense.

"Professor Lupin," she said, her voice tired and strained, "Something stupid and awful's happened."

"Tell me," Lupin said, calmly. He ran a hand along the dog's back - _it's all right, it's all right_. Sev-the-Dog did not relax.

Hermione grimaced, and nodded. "Harry and I had a fight yesterday. A bad one, and I said some things I shouldn't have. I'm sure he's not speaking to me, not for a while."

"Harry won't still be mad today, will he?" Lupin said.

"I'm afraid so. I told him it was his fault that Sirius was dead."

Lupin blinked. "Oh. Yes, I can see where he would be upset about that."

"He said some really ugly things about Professor Snape, and how it was Professor Snape's fault Sirius was dead, and then he said a few more things, and I lost my temper."

"Oh," Lupin said, weakly.

"I said I was sorry, right afterwards. I said it wasn't anyone's fault. But it was too late, he just stormed out of the Hall. Then Ron was beastly and I stormed out of the Hall."

Lupin felt the dog's cold nose on his hand, nudging him. He'd stopped petting him, his hand had gone still. He started rubbing the soft hair in his fingers, while he thought.

"Any word on how Harry is today?"

"No, I haven't seen or heard from him. Or Ron either." She shrugged. "I'm going to be fine. I'm still mad at both of them, and I meant what I said, but we've had fights before. I'm going on a vacation with my parents, and we'll have made up long before I get back. I'm just worried about Harry. You see, Ron told us he's going to start working for his brothers. Harry will have Ron for a few more days, but then he's going to be alone. And he was really angry yesterday. I haven't seen him that angry since, well, since Sirius was killed."

Lupin nodded. "As you say, he never saw clearly when it came to Sirius." He sighed. "Which, in other circumstances, would be harmless. If anyone deserved to be hero worshipped, it was Sirius." _Despite his flaws_, Lupin thought, _You were great in all things, my friend, in your virtues and your faults_. Lupin felt his hand tighten around the dog beside him.

"Harry is still pretty adamant about his hatred for Severus," Lupin said carefully.

"Very," Hermione said. "That's why I got so angry. To hear him say the things that he said, after everything that happened yesterday . . ." and her eyes turned to the dog.

"I understand," Lupin said, "I would have felt the same."

"You wouldn't have told him off, though," Hermione said.

Lupin looked down at the dog. "I don't know. As you say, yesterday was not a good day." He thought of Severus, sitting under the tree, looking up at the mountain, and he pressed his hand against the dog's head. "I'll see if I can talk to Harry, today." He looked at the dog again. "Although I'll have to probably put a sleep spell on him," with a nod at the dog.

"I know," Hermione said, "Although Harry sounded very interested when he heard you had a dog."

And at that moment, her face began to flicker, and another face seemed to be trying to appear in her place. Lupin squinted, and was astonished to see a shock of black hair, and glasses.

"It's Harry," Lupin said, "He's trying to get through."

"Then I'll be off," Hermione said, quickly, "Do what you can - good-bye, Professor."

Her face faded out, and Harry's flickered and then grew solid in her place.

"Professor Lupin-" he started to say, then stopped, green eyes wide in astonishment as the dog beside Lupin started to its feet, eyes flashing, ears flat against its skull, and the hair along its back standing straight up as if electrified. It bared enormous yellow fangs and growled like low thunder. And, at the same time, pressed hard against Lupin, as if trying to hide behind him, its entire body quaking in terror.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 9

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: December 22, 2003

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling's. Not mine. Sigh.

Acknowledgements: Thank you, Michelle and Patti for beta-reading! And thanks to everyone who's taken the time to write a review. I really pay attention to what you say.

Author's Note: Harry, as I'm showing him, is still stuck in the mode he was at the end of book 5, about a lot of things.

And for everyone who's worried about how Severus is going to react when he comes through all this, I'll just say I hope you like what I've got in mind when it happens.

x-x-x

Chapter 9

Lupin quickly put an arm around the snarling dog. "Easy, easy, it's all right," he said, but it kept growling and flashing enormous yellow fangs, all the while cringing against him. Lupin looked up at Harry's astonished face, and sighed.

"Accio Wand," Lupin said, calmly, and his wand flew to his fingers from where it lay on a nearby table. He waved it once over the dog and said, "Dormio." The dog froze in mid-snarl, a look of surprise on its face. Then it slowly relaxed, legs sliding out from under it, until its body rested on the sofa, and its head fell into Lupin's lap. Its eyes closed, and it lay quite still, with only the slow rising and falling of its side.

"It's all right now, Harry," Lupin said, "You can come on over if you like."

Harry still stared, wide-eyed, then he collected himself and nodded. His head, suspended in the fireplace, moved forward a little, and his body materialized around it. He stood up and walked into the room.

"What was that about?" he asked, as he moved hesitantly over to the sofa where Lupin sat with the dog. "He acted like he hated me." He pulled one of the fireplace chairs over and sat down.

Lupin said, carefully, "This dog has been badly treated, all of his life." He stopped and thought, _how to put it?_ "He expects to be hurt by people, because that's all he's ever known. So he snarls first."

"That's not going to make people like him any better," Harry said.

"No, it's not. But it's a very common behavior."

Harry looked at the dog. "My cousin Dudley used to kick any dog he came across, or throw things at them. All the neighborhood dogs would run when they saw him coming." He grimaced, "He'd have really gone after a dog like this one, just because of how freaky he looks."

Lupin nodded. "He's a special breed, a Spectral Hound, a guard dog for Dark Wizards."

Harry frowned, suspiciously. "So he's evil, a creature of the Dark?"

"No, he's just a dog, no matter what he looks like. His heart is sound, he's brave, loyal, he's even saved people's lives. He just doesn't know how to be with people." Lupin thought, _It's not really a lie, substitute "man" for "dog" and it's pretty much the truth_.

Harry looked at the dog again. "So you're going to teach him better manners?"

Lupin nodded. "And to trust people. To help him learn that people can be kind. And that he's worth kindness. He's been treated so badly for so long, he doesn't think he's worth anything."

Harry's eyes were still on the dog. "People can be really awful."

"Yes, they can. Even otherwise good people." Lupin closed his eyes. _We certainly thought we were good people, after all_. He stroked the dog's head. Then he looked up at Harry. "You could be a big help, you know. With him."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I can't get near him."

"Not now. But maybe we can teach him to trust you." Lupin nodded at the dog. "Now, while he's asleep, if you pet him and talk to him, let him get used to your voice and your scent subconsciously, that could be a start."

Harry looked thoughtful. Then he slid off the chair onto the floor and knelt by the sofa. Hesitantly, he raised his hand, and brought it towards the dog's head, then he began to rub the silky ears. The dog froze for a moment as Harry's hand touched him, but then he relaxed.

Harry grinned up at Lupin, and then he leaned closer, and spoke softly, "Good dog, you're a good dog." He moved his hand along the big neck, down the dog's sides, then back up again. The dog gave a whimper, deep in his throat, then he breathed easily, lying heavily against Lupin.

"What's his name?" Harry asked, still running his hand over the dog's skin.

"I, uh, haven't really given him one yet," Lupin said.

"I think we should call him 'Sirius,'" Harry said.

The dog started, and Lupin said, quickly, "No, that's a name with too much meaning, for you and I both. And not 'Padfoot' or 'Snuffles', either. He needs his own name."

Harry frowned, and was quiet, although he still kept stroking the dog, fingers digging deep into the fur of its neck. _Thinking of Sirius?_ Lupin wondered. _Or your fight with Hermione yesterday?_

"Did you have something you wanted to talk about?" Lupin said. "When you called me through the floo?"

Harry kept stroking the dog. "Hermione and me, we had a fight yesterday."

"That's too bad," Lupin said. "What about?"

Harry opened his mouth, then shut it, firmly, and his eyes looked hard. "You'd just take her side."

"I'm on both your sides," Lupin said. "I might disagree with you, but I'm always on your side."

Harry was quiet, face still hard. Then he turned to Lupin, defiantly. "Snape caused Sirius's death. I hate him for being alive, when Sirius is dead."

Lupin cocked his head and looked back, mildly. "Lots of people are still alive. I'm still alive, do you hate me, too?"

"No. But you didn't kill Sirius."

"As I recall," Lupin said, "it was Bellatrix who killed Sirius."

"Sirius wouldn't have been there if we hadn't been at the Ministry."

"No. And I believe Severus tried to stop you from going. Except you'd already gone before he could find you. He'd talked to Sirius, and found out he was all right."

"He stopped the Occlumency lessons!" Harry said suddenly, eyes flashing. "If I'd been able to block Voldemort from my mind, none of this would have happened."

"So you did go back and talk to Severus? You asked to continue the lessons, and he denied you?"

Harry looked darkly at Lupin. "So you're like Hermione, you think it was my fault."

"No, of course not, and I don't believe she does, either. Frankly, I don't think the Occlumency lessons would have made much difference. It takes years to master it to the level you'd need to block out Voldemort. I think Dumbledore was hoping more that you and Severus would talk. That you'd see how much you have in common."

Harry gave him a look of pure disgust.

_In for a penny, in for a pound_, Lupin thought, and he said, "I think you need someone else to blame, because in your heart, you do blame yourself. Harry, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."

Harry stood up. "I have to go. I'm meeting Ron." He turned and walked fiercely to the door.

"Harry," Lupin called after him, "Harry, I blame Voldemort for Sirius's death. Place the blame where it belongs."

Harry went through the hall door without answering, closing it hard behind him.

x-x-x

Sev-the-Dog woke up from Lupin's sleep spell soon after Harry left, but spent most of the morning lazing in Lupin's lap. Lupin did get him to practice walking around the room, but he was still awkward. _He's still weak_, thought Lupin, _it's hard for his legs to support his weight_.

Dobby arrived with lunch, which was a repeat of breakfast - Lupin spoon-fed a number of bites to the dog before he agreed to eat on his own. Afterwards, they were back on the sofa, Lupin reading, Sev-the-Dog lying curled up against him.

It was early evening, when there was a knock on the hall door. Lupin sat up a little, expecting Harry's voice. But he was surprised and delighted to hear Dumbledore's voice say, "Remus, may I come in?"

"Yes," Lupin said, "Yes, of course. Come in." Beside him, Sev-the-Dog sat up, alert, but not frightened.

Lupin's door opened, and Dumbledore stepped quietly into the room. He smiled at Lupin and the dog. "I wished to see how the two of you were getting on."

Sev-the-Dog's eyes were bright, and his ears pricked up. He slid awkwardly off the sofa, and walked with careful, hesitant steps toward Dumbledore until he stood before him, bony head tilted back to look up at him. And was that a hesitant wag of the tail?

Dumbledore looked down at the dog with sad eyes. He lifted a hand and held it out. The dog reached out to touch it with his nose, then ducked his head down, letting Dumbledore's hand slide along his head to ruffle his ears. The dog's eyes closed, and he pressed against Dumbledore's hand.

Dumbledore came over, and sat down in the chair Harry had been sitting in that morning. The dog walked beside him, and sat down next to the chair. Dumbledore's hand rested on the dog's head.

"We are walking a little," Lupin said, "And eating, fairly well." He glanced at Sev-the-Dog. "Harry came by this morning. The reaction was not good; I had to sleep spell him."

Dumbledore nodded. "Not unexpected, though."

"Harry wants to help with him, though, and I'm going to encourage that. It could be a good thing for Harry, too."

Dumbledore looked grave. "About Harry. And you, as well." He looked into Lupin's face. "There have been rumors that Bellatrix has been seen near Hogwarts."

"But she can't get in. Voldemort himself could not get in."

"But she is determined, I think, to revenge herself on Harry. For destroying her world. She has nothing else left."

"I think Harry may feel the same way about her. For killing Sirius," Lupin said. "Are you going to tell him?"

"I'm afraid I shall have to. I've learned the danger of not telling Harry."

"He's in a bad mood, right now," Lupin said. "I don't know how he'll react. He may try to go after her."

"I have spoken with him about this before, and he agreed that it would not be wise to go after Bellatrix alone."

"He may not think that way now."

"Yes, I was there when he argued with Miss Granger. And I am aware that Mr. Weasley will not be able to spend as much time with him after this week. I hope Harry will choose to spend more time with you, Remus, for the rest of the summer. And that you can look after him."

"I will try," Lupin said. Then he nodded at the dog, "But it depends on how long it takes him to accept Harry. Or at least to behave around him."

Dumbledore looked down at the dog, and gave him a few pats. "I think he will snarl, but I do not think he will go as far as a physical attack. That has, at least, been his behavior in the past."

"With Harry, I'm not sure. He's terrified of him."

"Harry symbolizes everything Severus wanted, but could never be."

Lupin nodded. "I know. Seeing Harry makes him feel like dirt." He sighed. "Fortunately, Harry seemed quite willing to work with him. Hopefully enough to forget he's angry with me right now." Dumbledore tilted his head in question, and Lupin added, "For pretty much the same reason he's angry with Hermione."

Dumbledore nodded. "Ah, yes. He was angry with me for quite a long time, for the same reason. He may still be."

"He loved Sirius so much, and he never got to spend the time with him that he wanted. And then the future he saw, of the two of them together, was taken from him so suddenly. And he knows how much Severus hated Sirius. And that Severus lived, and Sirius did not."

Dumbledore looked at Lupin sadly.

Lupin went on, "If he'd been able to find someone to take Sirius's place in his heart," Lupin shook his head, "but there isn't anyone. Merlin knows, I'm not, and can't be."

"Harry loves you very much," Dumbledore said.

"Not the way he loved Sirius. Sirius was his hero. I'm just a friend. I am not cool, I am not heroic. I don't ride a flying motorcycle, I don't wear leather. I don't have his style, never did."

"Heroes are not about style, Remus," Dumbledore said, gently, "Or about motorcycles. You have proved yourself a hero, many times over. All your life."

Lupin shrugged. "And how much more a hero is Severus? For all the credit he gets. No, heroes ARE about style, I think, to most people. The rest of us are just uninspiring sods trying to do the right thing. Sometimes we do, more often than not we fail." He shook his head, "Goodness, I'm being maudlin, aren't I? Sorry about that." He smiled.

Dumbledore smiled back. He gave the dog's head a few more pats, then he slowly stood up. "I'm due in the Great Hall for supper, I promised Minerva I'd be there. I'll keep an eye on Harry, if he's there."

Lupin watched as Sev-the-Dog walked with Dumbledore to the door. _He'd follow him out into the hallway_, Lupin thought, _if Dumbledore would let him, and stay by his side_. Instead, the dog stood quietly as Dumbledore closed the door behind him. He turned and looked at Lupin, with his sharp, black eyes.

"He'll come back, another time," Lupin said.

Sev-the-Dog walked carefully back to the sofa, clambered up, and leaned against Lupin, head against his shoulder. Lupin put his arm around him, and rested his head against the dog's. "That's our problem, my friend," he said, stroking the dog's neck, "We have all the wrong style."

x-x-x

Lupin and Sev-the-Dog had just finished breakfast the next morning, when there was a knock at the door, and Ron's voice, called, "Professor Lupin, can I come see the dog?"

Lupin glanced over at Sev-the-Dog, who was lying on the sofa. His head had come up, alert and wary, and his muscles were tense.

"He won't hurt you," Lupin said to the dog, softly, "You must behave politely when he comes in."

Sev-the-Dog glanced at him, eyes hard as obsidian.

"He's come to admire you," Lupin said, "He won't come too close to you, he'll keep his distance."

Sev-the-Dog stared at him, then turned to the door.

"Come in, Ron," Lupin called, "but don't move too quickly, and don't come too close."

The door opened very, very slowly, and Ron's head appeared around the edge. "It is a Spectral Hound, just like Harry said," he said, eyes wide. He eased into the room, and closed the door slowly and softly behind him.

"Harry's coming, too, he just stopped in the hall to talk for a minute," Ron said, as he walked carefully forward.

Sev-the-Dog looked as if every single muscle was constricted, and he watched Ron intently, and warily.

"I think that's close enough, Ron," Lupin said, when Ron was half way across the room. "He's very skittish around people right now."

Ron nodded, and he carefully folded his legs and sat on the floor. "I've never seen a Spectral Hound up close like this. Dad says he's been attacked by several, over the years, when he's been on raids. He says they're terrible creatures, really fierce and vicious."

"Well, that's what they've been taught to be, isn't it?" said Lupin.

"Yeah, right," Ron said, "So, you're going to un-teach this one?"

"Something like that."

"Cool," Ron said. "Mind you, he doesn't look like the kind of dog you could put with a nice, regular family, does he?"

Lupin opened his mouth to answer, when there was another knock at the door, and this time, Harry's voice called, "Professor, can I come in?"

Lupin put his arm around Sev-the-Dog, who had already tensed even further, and said softly, "Remember, he won't hurt you, he doesn't want to hurt you," and then he called, "Come in, Harry, slowly."

The door opened. And the moment Harry stepped into the room, the dog was up, crouching on the sofa, growling and snarling, the hackles along his back prickling up. "It's all right, it's all right," Lupin said, hugging him close, but the dog kept on snarling.

Harry froze in front of the door.

"Stay there, Harry," Lupin said, "Sit down on the floor, get lower than he is, maybe we can get him to see you aren't a threat."

Harry slowly sat down on the floor, spreading his black robes out around him so they wouldn't get tangled in his long legs. He hunched down a little, and looked at the floor, carefully not meeting the dog's eyes. _Good, Harry_, Lupin thought, _that's right, look safe and harmless_.

The growling slowly died in the dog's throat, and his black lips came down a little, covering his fangs, but he remained crouched, muscles tense, and eyes glaring. Lupin kept his arms around him, saying, "Easy, it's all right."

Ron's mouth was open. "Wow, he really doesn't like you, does he, Harry."

Harry looked at Lupin. "He wasn't like that with Ron, was he? Why does he hate me?"

Lupin shrugged. "You must look a lot like someone who's hurt him." He looked at Ron. "Although he wasn't exactly friendly with Ron, either. I, uh, suspect he doesn't like young people much."

He began to stroke the dog, talking gently to him. "This is a good thing, you're being here. He can get used to you, and you can show him that he doesn't have to be afraid of you. If you don't mind sitting there for a little while."

Both boys nodded, and stayed still on the floor. Lupin talked gently to the dog. After a good ten minutes, the dog relaxed a little, and consented to lie back on the sofa. He still watched both boys intently, with glaring eyes.

Lupin could see the boys were getting antsy after sitting still for so long. "I think that's enough for now," he said, "although if you feel like it, come back later, and we can do this again. He's already a little calmer. It's just going to take time."

Both boys clearly were ready to go - _sitting so still for that long at that age_, thought Lupin - but they managed to control themselves enough to rise slowly. Ron walked past Harry to the door. Harry didn't move for a moment, he just stared at the dog. Then he looked at Lupin. His eyes were hard, like yesterday. Lupin smiled at him, and said, "Thank you, both of you." Harry nodded, and turned to follow Ron out of the room.

Sev-the-Dog relaxed a little bit more, as the door closed, but not completely, Lupin could still feel tenseness in his muscles. "That wasn't so bad, was it," Lupin said, "They're both good boys, they want to like you, if you let them."

Sev-the-Dog turned to him with his cold, black eyes, looking completely unconvinced. Lupin sighed. "Well, you were a good dog for not growling the whole time," he said, "That's a start."

He rubbed the dog's back. "You know, once I'm sure you can behave, we can go outside. Wouldn't you like that?" Sev-the-Dog cocked his head at that, and the eyes looked softer, interested, and Lupin went on, "But you mustn't snarl at people. There are better ways to keep people away from you than snarling." Sev-the-Dog's eyes got a little harder. _More carrot, less stick_, Lupin thought, and he said, "Look out the window, at the pretty green lawns, wouldn't you like to run across that? I've got a ball you can play with, wouldn't you like that?" Lupin felt a little wistful - _I've been stuck in here for two days now_.

Sev-the-Dog narrowed his eyes at Lupin, and he sniffed. Then he yawned - a great show of yellow teeth and lolling tongue - and stretched out on the sofa, curling up against Lupin. Lupin sighed, smiled, pulled open his book with one hand, and began rubbing the dog's head with his other. _We'll try again_, he thought. _This is only the third day, after all_.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 10

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: January 9, 2004

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling's. Not mine. Sigh.

Acknowledgements: Thanks, as always, my beta readers, Patti and Michelle!

Author's Note: I've sort of established in Practically Brothers that Lupin can turn into a wolf voluntarily, and it isn't the painful transformation he experiences at the full moon, it's more like transfiguration.

x-x-x

Chapter 10

Lupin took a deep breath, then closed the hall door. _How's the dog, is he all right?_ He looked down, but Sev-the-Dog was looking around, unconcerned. _So far, so good_, Lupin thought, and then, for the hundredth time, _I should have him on a leash_. But he didn't have a leash, and magic animals weren't kept on leashes. And something in him rebelled at putting the dog on a leash, as if it were too much of an indignity. _If anything happens, if he's frightened, if he tries to run away, or, perish the thought, if he attacks anyone_, Lupin thought, _I'll have to be prepared to stun him_.

_He should be all right. It's only the fourth day, he's still shaky on his legs. That's a good thing, he'll be easier to control_, Lupin told himself, again for the hundredth time. But the truth was, Lupin himself couldn't take another day in the room. Even a homebody like him needed to get out, and he couldn't stand the sight of the beautiful green lawns out his window.

"Stay close by me," he told Sev-the-Dog, and they walked down the corridor. Lupin kept his pace slow and easy, and the dog seemed to have no trouble keeping up. He could walk quite well now, his balance had improved rapidly over the past few days. Lupin hoped to get him running today, outside.

He rubbed Sev-the-Dog's back - he didn't have to reach down at all, the dog was tall enough, on those long, thin legs, to stand nearly as high as Lupin's hip. The hair felt silky under his fingers - the dog had a bath that morning. It had gone much better than Lupin had expected. Sev-the-Dog was perfectly willing to be waited on, even bathed. _Childhood instincts there?_ Lupin wondered. It would go with being raised in a home with House Elves, being waited on, taken care of, as a young boy.

And now, Lupin had to admit, the dog looked almost handsome, after the bath and a good brushing. The silky, black hair hung smoothly, and covered a lot of the dog's wraith-like thinness. And as he grew stronger, and more used to his body, his movement had an elegance and dignity, much as he had as a man. And, at the moment, he wasn't feeling threatened, and his usual stalking, menacing air hadn't appeared, although that probably wouldn't last.

So far they hadn't run into anyone, the corridors were silent. Lupin glanced into the Great Hall as they passed the entrance, but it was empty. Breakfast was long over, and the students were probably all outside now, or back in their rooms.

There were the great doors, leading outside, just in front of them. They might make it without running into anyone at all. Lupin wanted to expose Sev-the-Dog to more people today, but there was no point in pushing it. Better to wear him out with some outside play first. They just had to cross the entrance hall, and they'd be in the fresh air.

"Remus J. Lupin," called a familiar, stern voice behind him. "Just what is going on?"

Lupin turned to see Professor McGonagall looking at him very suspiciously, arms crossed, and one eyebrow raised.

"Just taking the dog outside, Minerva," he said. "You did hear I was taking care of a dog, didn't you?"

The eyebrow went even higher. "Don't even think of using that innocent look on me, Remus. It didn't work when you were a boy, and it doesn't work now." She glared at him. "And that is no dog." Lupin opened his mouth to protest and she went on, "Don't even think you can fool a Transfiguration master, Remus. That's a transfigured human."

Lupin winced. "Not so loudly, Minerva, it's supposed to be a secret."

She came closer, bending down and looking at the dog, staring into its black eyes. Lupin hovered, worried about the dog's reaction, but Sev-the-Dog merely stared back at McGonagall. She peered, intently. Then her eyes widened, and she looked up at Lupin, "Remus, does he know?"

Lupin sighed. _I suppose there was really no chance of fooling her_, he thought, and he said, "No, right now, he has no memory. And he won't remember this when he's changed back."

She looked back into the dog's face, and shook her head, then looked thoughtful. She raised her hand slowly and held it for the dog to smell. He placed his nose under her fingers, and she stroked the black head. "It's a good thought," she said, "I hope it helps him."

"We didn't have a lot of time to come up with anything. Albus can tell you the whole story," Lupin said.

She nodded. "I thought he left too quickly, even for him. Not even a good-bye. And that poppycock story about travelling." She breathed in quickly and pursed her lips - was there a little tremble there, thought Lupin. She held the dog's chin in her hand and looked straight into the black eyes. "Poor thing," she said.

"Obviously, this is not something we want the world to know about."

"No, of course not." She stood up, still keeping a hand on the dog's head. "Who else knows?"

"Albus, Hagrid, Hermione, Poppy, Dobby," Lupin said. "And now you."

Minerva nodded. "Well, if it's any comfort, I doubt there's anyone else who'll figure it out. Though I wouldn't expose him to too many people."

"I'm not planning on taking him to Diagon Alley, or anything like that. No further than Hogsmeade, at most."

She continued looking into the dog's eyes, her hand on his head. He had his head back, looking up at her. Then she sighed, and pulled her hand away. "You go have fun outside then. Merlin knows, he could use it, after all these years."

With that, they parted, and he and Sev-the-Dog went through the great doors and out into the sunlit courtyard. Lupin had to blink, to let his eyes get used to the brightness. He'd been inside far too long.

Sev-the-Dog was still calm and unconcerned. _That's right, you know this place, even if you don't remember it_.

It felt so good to be outside. Lupin breathed in the air, and stepped out, stretching his legs. Sev-the-Dog kept up with no trouble, and they walked out to the open spaces of the lawns around Hogwarts.

A little faster now? Lupin moved into a slow jog, watching the dog all the while. Sev-the-Dog moved into an easy trot beside him, legs moving together, on each side. Not too different from walking.

It was only when Lupin broke into a run that the dog had trouble - he tried a faster trot but that wasn't enough, and his legs looked in danger of getting tangled. Lupin slowed down, and let the dog catch up to him. Sev-the-Dog gave him a reproachful look as he came up to Lupin's side.

Hmm. Maybe a little incentive? Lupin pulled his red ball out from his robes. "Here, want to play?" he said, trying to sound enticing, holding the ball as if it were a piece of glittering treasure.

Sev-the-Dog looked completely uninterested.

_All right, then_, thought Lupin, _we'll see if you can resist it when I throw it_. He pulled his arm back, and let the ball fly - not too far, not so far that the dog might think it was too much trouble to go after. But a good twenty feet away.

Sev-the-Dog watched the ball arc overhead, and then land in the grass. He looked at Lupin and sniffed.

"Look, there it is, go get it," Lupin said enthusiastically. Sev-the-Dog yawned, and looked away.

"So, having a little trouble there, are you?" Hagrid's voice sounded behind him.

Lupin turned to see Hagrid standing a few yards away, Fang beside him. Lupin grinned sheepishly. "Well, considering he was barely walking a few days ago, I think he's doing pretty well." A look at Sev-the-Dog here, to see how he'd react to Hagrid, but the dog was as calm as he'd been with Minerva.

Hagrid nodded. "Maybe he could use someone to show him. Give a little demonstration, like."

"Do you think Fang could run and fetch for him?" Lupin asked.

Hagrid barked a laugh. "Fang'd be better at showing him sleeping than fetching, I'd say. No, I was thinking you could show him. I know you've been changing to wolf outside of the full moon, now that you've been on the Wolfsbane Potion."

Lupin frowned. "Only when I was sure there was a qualified wizard around, just in case."

"I'll be here, if you like. And my place is just over there, if you're feeling modest about getting undressed first."

Lupin gulped. _It's a good idea_, he thought, _I've just never done this with anyone but Severus_. "You're sure you don't mind?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Hagrid said.

"All right, then." Lupin turned toward Hagrid's hut. Sev-the-Dog walked with him, through the door, and into the warm, dark room inside.

"It's all right," Lupin said, "It'll still be me, you know that." He pulled off his clothing, and laid it neatly on a chair. Sev-the-Dog watched, head cocked. Then Lupin took a deep breath and concentrated. Within a minute, where the man had been, there was a great, grey wolf, taller even than the black dog before him.

Lupin the wolf stepped forward, to where Sev-the-Dog stood, and they looked briefly into each other's eyes. Then Lupin turned and pushed the door open, and the dog followed him out into the sunlight. Lupin trotted over to Hagrid. Hagrid had picked up the red ball, and he grinned at Lupin.

"First time I've ever had a good look at you when you were like this," Hagrid said. "I did see you when you were a boy, you know, when you and your friends ran wild at night, but that was from a distance. Quite a sight that was, the four of you."

Lupin looked back up at him, shyly. Hagrid grinned, "Nothing to be ashamed of. Right now, with full moon a ways away, it's more like you're an Animagus, isn't it." He held up the ball. "Now, what's say we show this fellow how to have a little fun?"

Lupin jumped up and gave a happy bark. He glanced over at Sev-the-Dog, who stood quietly watching.

Hagrid threw the ball, which soared high up into the air. Lupin leapt after it. How good it felt, to stretch his wolf legs, to watch the ground passing by in a blur below him, to smell the grass. The ball was coming down in front of him and he jumped into the air and caught it before it hit the ground. He fell back to the grass below, and then dashed back to Hagrid, ball firmly in his teeth.

Sev-the-Dog hadn't moved from where he stood. He simply looked at Lupin, with a superior expression on his face.

Lupin raced straight at him, only moving to the side at the last minute, as Sev-the-Dog stepped backwards, glaring at him. Lupin whirled around, circling him, making a great show of holding the ball out. _Come get it, come get it_. But Sev-the-Dog merely looked at him disdainfully.

"It's no good," Hagrid said, "He's not going for the ball. Maybe you should try to get him to chase you, instead."

Lupin dropped the ball onto the ground, and stood still in front of Sev-the-Dog, thinking. Sev-the-Dog looked back at him. Lupin barked, wagging his tail, and dashed around him, then darted off, stopping after about twenty feet to look behind him. Sev-the-Dog had not moved.

_All right then_, thought Lupin, and he grinned to himself. He gathered his legs under him, and then he shot forward like a cannonball, heading straight for Sev-the-Dog. Only this time, Lupin did not turn aside, instead he barreled into him, bowling him over, gripping him in his front legs so that the two of them rolled over and over each other on the grass.

Lupin was up on his feet in an instant, barking joyously, and he darted off, not too fast. Sev-the-Dog rose more awkwardly to his feet, annoyance radiating from his face. He stood, frozen, watching Lupin.

And then he shot after him, head down, body stretched out. Lupin let him come closer, then he sped forward, and the two of them ran across the lawns, Lupin twisting and circling, dodging here and there, and Sev-the-Dog close behind him, following his every move. Lupin glanced back every so often, to make sure he was keeping up, and saw on that bony face, not annoyance, nor joy, but fierce concentration. That would have to do for now.

He ran back and circled around Hagrid and Fang (Fang lay on the ground, watching, but showing no interest whatsoever in joining them). Hagrid reached over and picked up the ball, and threw it again. Lupin barked and shot after it, Sev-the-Dog close behind him. Lupin wasn't fast enough to catch the ball in mid-air this time, though, and it hit the ground and bounced and rolled. Lupin darted forward to catch it - _would Sev-the-Dog go for it?_ But no, the dog held back, watching Lupin grip the ball in his teeth, and following as Lupin raced back to Hagrid.

Hagrid took the ball and threw it again, and again, and the two of them raced after it each time. Sev-the-Dog would not try to catch or carry the ball, but he seemed content to run with Lupin, back and forth across the grass, or to follow Lupin when he varied the route they took, dodging and whirling across the lawns, until they each were worn out completely, and collapsed panting on the ground beside Hagrid.

Hagrid grinned broadly. "Now, that was a beautiful sight." He sat down on the grass beside them, reaching out to pat Lupin on the head, and then Sev-the-Dog, who ducked his head easily under Hagrid's big hand.

They all lay quietly on the grass, the wolf and the dog still catching their breath, when they heard a call from a ways off. All heads turned, to see Harry and Ron, walking towards them across the grass.

Lupin turned towards Sev-the-Dog in alarm. The dog looked wary, and tense, but no more than that. _He's too tired_, thought Lupin. He got up, shook himself, then lay down beside the dog, between him and the boys. Sev-the-Dog pressed close to him, Lupin could feel how tense he was. Lupin carefully made himself relax. Maybe it will transfer over to him. _I'm not afraid, there's nothing to be afraid of_.

Harry and Ron reached them, though they both held back from the dogs, staying on the other side of Hagrid. They said their hellos, and both grinned broadly at Lupin, who smiled shyly and nodded his head back at them. _They've never seen me in wolf form_, he thought, _not since that terrible night when the full moon caught me_.

But neither boy seemed afraid, instead they both looked at him with keen interest. "Is it all right?" Harry asked. "Do you mind?"

Lupin shook his head. _I do mind, a little_, he thought, _but it's good for me, to be with people when I'm like this. And it's good for Sev-the-Dog, too, for me to be here, like this, with them_.

"We saw you from across the grounds," Ron said, "You were awesome." He reached over and picked up the red ball, which had rolled across the grass. "Maybe we could have a go? If you feel like it?"

"I think they're a bit tired, now," Hagrid said, "But maybe later." And Lupin barked what he hoped would come across as a "Yes."

The boys talked with Hagrid. Apparently the Quiddich games were off now, something about a tiff between them and some of the other students, but Harry and Ron had been exploring the Hogwarts grounds. Lupin listened lazily, laying his head down in the grass. Sev-the-Dog lay tense beside him, but made no move to jump up, or snarl at the boys.

And then Harry looked their way, and froze, his face startled. Lupin looked at him, but Harry wasn't looking at him, he was looking at the dog. Lupin turned. Sev-the-Dog's face was frozen in a look of absolute hatred, and he was staring straight at Harry, even though he crouched down behind Lupin, leaning against him. He wasn't shaking this time. Lupin sighed. _He's behaving the way he did when he was human_.

And, Lupin saw, the dog's hair was completely unkempt, lank and shaggy, hanging in clumps, as if he hadn't had a bath in weeks. _We did roughhouse in the grass_, Lupin thought, _could that have caused it?_ But he knew this was far worse than a few rolls on the ground could have caused. It was almost as if the human Snape were beside him, in one of his worst moods, greasy hair and hating eyes.

_What if I can't get him out of this?_ Lupin thought, _what if he remains stuck this way, just as he was when he was human?_

x-x-x

"Can you fix it, Poppy?" Lupin asked.

Madame Pomfrey looked at the dog sitting on the hospital bed in front of her, sighed, and shook her head. "This is an old problem, I'm afraid," she said. "I could do something that would fix it for now, but it would come right back."

"What do you mean?" Lupin asked.

Sev-the-Dog sat quietly. His stance was dignified, the expression on his face was superior, but there was something inside him shaking, Lupin could see.

"It's self-imposed," Madame Pomfrey said. She looked sadly at the dog, and ran a hand along his head. "Not consciously, you understand. It happens a lot in the old Pureblood families. You remember James's hair?"

Lupin nodded. "He was proud of how it always looked like he'd just left the Quiddich field."

"He couldn't have made it different if he'd tried, or at least, not without a lot of spells and potions, and that would only be temporary. He might as well change the color of his eyes with a spell, it would last for a while, but they'd always change back."

"So you're saying that Severus is stuck with this hair, always looking like this?" _Poor fellow. And here we always assumed he didn't know anything about personal hygiene_.

"It's a little more complicated for him," Madame Pomfrey said. "It reacts to the way he feels about himself, inside."

"Ah," Lupin said, "Yes, he was fine all morning, until Harry showed up. Then it went like this, very suddenly."

Madame Pomfrey nodded. "There's not very much I can do, I'm afraid."

"Can it change back?" Lupin said, "If he starts to feel better about himself?"

"Well, yes, he should. But he never was one to recover himself, ever." She shook her head. "Once he gets like this, he seems to be stuck. It's a vicious cycle. He feels dirty and insignificant, and he becomes a match to the way he feels, and then he feels like this because he looks like this."

Lupin winced. "What about his teeth, then?" Lupin said, "Can we at least turn them white? And straighten them out?"

"Yes, I can do that," she said. She waved her wand, and sparkling blue-white lights played along the dog's mouth. Sev-the-Dog started in surprise, but the lights were gone as quickly as they came. Lupin held the dog's jaw in one hand and lifted the gums. The teeth that had always been yellow and crooked were now straight and clean, and they glistened as white as porcelain.

"I've been wanting to do that for twenty years," Madame Pomfrey said, with satisfaction.

Lupin gave the dog a pat. Sev-the-Dog glared at him, but he leaned into Lupin's hand just the same.

x-x-x

Lupin took Sev-the-Dog out again that evening, for a quiet walk after dinner. The dog still looked lank and unkempt. Lupin had hoped that, with words of encouragement and praise, the dog might start to look better, but so far, there had been no change.

But it was still pleasant, out in the cool air, watching the sky turn from blue, to fiery red and orange, and then to deeper blues and greys, with points of light as the stars began to shine. The moon was still waning, going towards the new moon - _still over two weeks before full moon_, he thought, with a warm feeling of relief.

As he and the dog turned back towards Hogwarts, he saw Harry and Ron, walking along the path towards the gate. Sev-the-Dog immediately started to walk away from them, back towards the school, but Lupin touched his shoulder, and turned him so that they would intercept the boys.

They waved at him as they saw him coming. "Harry's walking me to the gate," Ron grinned, then he rolled his eyes, "in case old Bellatrix is waiting for me outside."

Harry glared at Ron. Ron grinned and said, "As if I couldn't Apparate away faster than anything she could try. I think he just doesn't want to say good-bye."

Harry glared at Ron again. "It's dangerous, you know it is, Ron."

Ron shrugged. "She's had all summer to get me." Lupin gulped - _we've been terrified for Harry, all summer, keeping him here at Hogwarts, but the two of them have been walking alone like this, all this time?_

"But she's only just been seen recently," Harry said, sounding like he'd said this many times already.

Ron shrugged again. "Whatever. I'm glad of the company, at least."

Lupin tried to smile normally. "Then we'll walk with you, too. As added protection." Sev-the-Dog pressed against him, on the opposite side from the boys. He could almost feel the dog glaring at Harry.

Lupin looked ahead of them, down the path. It was nearly full dark now, and the gate was a huge, shadowy form against the deep blue sky. Outside, Lupin could see the darker masses of bushes along the wall, groves of trees nearby, and forest land beyond. Perfect hiding places for anyone who knew that Harry and Ron would be coming this way.

"Ron," Lupin said, "Let me step outside first, and check around."

Ron rolled his eyes, but stood back.

Lupin looked down at Sev-the-Dog. "Watch the boys," he said very softly, so they wouldn't hear. Sev-the-Dog glared, but when Lupin moved through the gate, the dog stepped forward, between the boys and the outside, muscles tense and poised.

Lupin looked around, smelling the air. He couldn't detect anything that shouldn't be there, just the smells of the plants, and earth, and grass, the more distant smell of Hogsmeade further along the pathway. Could Bellatrix hide her scent? Could she make herself invisible?

"Come out and Apparate quickly, Ron," Lupin said.

Ron grinned. "I do appreciate the thought, Professor," he said as he stepped through the gate. He gave a final wave to Lupin, and to Harry, and then vanished.

Lupin watched, feeling a bit sheepish, all that worry for nothing. _Well, better to be safe than sorry_, he thought, as he walked back through the gate.

The dog was watching Harry, still with that look of hatred, but now also with a fixed intensity that was almost as alarming. _He takes guarding Harry seriously_, Lupin thought, _just as he always has_. But, as Lupin returned, Sev-the-Dog immediately went to his side.

And the three of them returned to Hogwarts, under the now black sky, along the path made bright with stars and moonlight.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 11

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: March 17, 2004

Rating: PG13

Summary: Voldemort is dead, it's over. But happy endings don't happen automatically, as Lupin discovers with Snape, and Harry.

Disclaimer: same as all the previous chapters.

Acknowledgements: Thanks again to Patti and Michelle for beta-reading.

Author's Note: My apologies for not updating sooner. I have started grad school (I am a laid-off COBOL programmer, and job prospects are pretty grim these days, so I'm learning something new, which can't be outsourced).

Unfortunately, school is taking way more time than I expected, more than a full time job (I took too many classes this semester, and don't intend to do this again, but I still have the rest of the semester to go).

Also, this chapter just didn't want to be written. It certainly came out differently than I'd expected.

Thanks to those who have reviewed or e-mailed me directly. I'm sorry I haven't replied, I just have no time at all these days. But I really appreciate hearing from you, it keeps me going.

And if you've read the recent update to Essential Qualifications - chapter 5 - you'll see why this chapter here reminded me of it.

x-x-x

Chapter 11

Lupin eyes blinked and cracked open. It was morning. He sighed and stretched under the blankets, and then his brows furrowed. He reached out with his hand.

The dog was not there. Lupin felt around with his hand, and with his feet, but the other half of the bed was empty.

In the bathroom perhaps? Lupin slid out of the bed and padded over to the door, but when he looked inside, the dog was not there, either.

The sitting room, then. He looked. The sofa was empty and as his eyes traveled around the room, he saw with a start that the hallway door was open. He rushed to the door and looked out, but the hallway was empty.

He froze in panic. Who knew how early the dog had left, he could be anywhere, even off the Hogwarts grounds by now.

Then Lupin remembered the mirror. He hadn't used it since that morning, five days ago, when he'd tracked Severus to the mountain. He dashed to his bedside table, pulled the mirror out of the drawer and peered into it.

He saw the bushes and shrubs that lined the walls by the Hogwarts gate. After a moment, he was able to make out the dog, slinking in the shadows under the bushes. The dog was staring intently forward, that familiar, hostile look in his eyes. Lupin sighed. _I know what he's looking at_, he thought, and willed the mirror view to turn.

And sure enough, he saw Harry, walking along the pathway to the gate. _He's going to meet Ron_, Lupin thought, _is this Ron's last full day?_ Ron would be sure to come early, for his last days before he started working. Lupin frowned. And here was Harry, again flouting all the security rules they'd set for him, going out alone to the gate.

Harry reached the gate, but whether he would have broken the rules altogether and gone through, Lupin never knew, because Sev-the-Dog leapt out from the bushes, growling and snarling, hackles raised along his back. Harry froze in astonishment. The dog snapped at him, and Harry stepped back from the gate.

The dog stopped snarling, but he did not move from the gate, and his eyes glared viciously at Harry. He only turned when there was a soft bang, and Ron appeared just outside. Ron eyed the dog warily, as he walked through the gate, staying as far from the dog as he could. Ron looked at Harry and his mouth moved, he must have said something, and Harry shrugged.

The two boys walked back to Hogwarts. Once they were a good distance from the gate, Sev-the-Dog turned and followed behind them, apparently ready to herd them back to the building if they showed any sign of straying.

The boys finally went inside the building, Sev-the-Dog behind them. They looked back at the dog and laughed, and then turned toward Gryffindor Tower. The dog watched them go.

And then turned, and looked puzzled. His head turned in one direction, then another, as if he were lost. _No_, Lupin thought, _not lost, just not sure which way to go_. He willed the mirror's view to change, so he could see. The dog was facing the direction of the corridor that would take him to Lupin's rooms. Then his head turned and Lupin saw the dark archway, over the stairs leading down to the dungeons, to Snape's old chambers.

The dog hesitantly stepped forward, toward the stairs, and began to walk down. _Well, of course_, thought Lupin, _that way is ingrained into you, isn't it. That was your home, your only sanctuary, for decades_.

Lupin pulled a robe over his nightshirt, and left his rooms, closing the door quietly behind him, and headed for the great entryway. The dog was nowhere in sight when he got there, but he went down the stairs quickly, and along the corridors.

And there was Sev-the-Dog, standing in front of Snape's old doorway, agitation evident throughout his entire body. The dog turned to look at Lupin, and a whimper came from his throat, then he looked back at the door.

Lupin knelt beside him and rubbed his head. "It's all right," he said, out of habit. _But it's not all right_, he thought. Could he open the door? Snape would have removed his wards. Lupin reached up and turned the latch, and the door swung inwards.

The room inside was dark and empty. There was nothing, anymore, to distinguish it from any other set of chambers at Hogwarts. All traces of its previous inhabitant were gone. The dog stepped inside, warily, and then stood still as he looked around the room, at the empty shelves, and bare floors. Lupin stood beside him, and put a hand on his back, rubbing his fingers into his fur.

The dog was still. _He's looking for something, and it's not here_, Lupin thought. _It's not your home anymore_. And then, he thought, with a pang, _where is your home now, Severus?_

He squatted down beside the dog, and the dog leaned against him. Lupin rubbed his fingers deep into the dog's neck. They stayed like that for a little while.

And then Lupin stood up, and gently pushed the dog back to the door. Sev-the-Dog hesitated, then turned, and walked outside with Lupin, and back along the corridor towards Lupin's chambers.

x-x-x

Lupin frowned as he watched Sev-the-Dog glaring out the window. Harry and Ron must be outside. _If I let him, he'd spend all day following them_, Lupin thought. _Just like when he was human, with James and the rest of us, there's been no change. Will we ever see you move beyond this?_ Lupin had a sinking feeling that Severus would be stuck like this, forever, man or dog. The anger and despair was too deeply ingrained into his nature.

_But he seems happier as a dog, or, at least, he seems more able to express his affection for those few people he cares about_, Lupin tried to tell himself. _Isn't that a positive step? But would it be there when he returned to human form?_ Lupin had to suppress a smile at the thought of human Snape trying to lie with his head in Lupin's lap. He could just picture Snape's face at the mere suggestion of it.

That afternoon, Lupin took the dog outside for a walk around the grounds. Sev-the-Dog seemed reasonably content, staying close by Lupin's side. _Is he staying close by me for protection, or is he protecting me?_ Lupin wondered. _Probably a little of both_.

They walked around the lake until they came to the big rock that jutted out into the water, baked warm in the summer sun, an old friend from boyhood school days. Lupin climbed up and stretched out on it. Sev-the-Dog jumped up onto the rock and lay down beside him. Lupin smiled lazily. He and the others, James, Sirius and Peter, had sat here many times back when they were students. He looked at the dog out of the corner of one eye. Sev-the-Dog lay flat on his belly, neck and head stretched out on the smooth, dark stone, eyes half closed, as content as Lupin had ever seen him. Lupin reached out to rub the dog's bony skull, and the dog's tail gave a soft wave.

And then the dog lifted his head, ears pricked up, alert. But not alarmed. Lupin sat up, sleepily, and saw a tall form walking along the lake, still a ways away. No mistaking that silhouette, it was Dumbledore.

Dumbledore seemed lost in thought, as he walked slowly along the lake's edge. _He doesn't see us_, Lupin realized. Sev-the-Dog gave a small, anguished whimper, and tensed as if to stand up, but Lupin placed a hand on his back and said, gently, "Hush."

Then Dumbledore looked up, and saw them. And smiled, Lupin saw with relief, not wanting to intrude on Dumbledore's thoughts. He smiled back, and Dumbledore came over to them, walking a little more quickly now. When he reached the rock, he began to climb, despite his heavy robes. Lupin caught his hand and helped pull him up to sit beside them. Sev-the-Dog thumped his tail, gently, and crawled over so that he lay between them, Lupin and Dumbledore.

Dumbledore puffed out his breath, reaching out a hand to pat the dog on the head. "It has been a long time since I sat up here. I don't remember it being so difficult to climb before," he said with a wry smile.

Lupin smiled back. "I was just thinking that it had been a while since I'd been here, too."

Dumbledore sat quietly for a moment. _How tired he looks_, Lupin thought. _He's aged so much in the past few months_. "Things not going well at the Ministry?" he said.

Dumbledore sighed. "As well as can be expected, I suppose. I have been through this enough times to know that the problems of the world will not be solved by a new set of politicians. Myself included," he added with a nod.

Lupin opened his mouth, trying to think of something comforting to say, when there was a distant shout, and all of them turned. Through a gap in the trees, Lupin could make out the Quiddich field, and a whir of forms on broomsticks looping and diving above it. But he could not pick out Harry or Ron among them, none of them had Harry's style of flying, and Ron's red hair would have shown up even at this distance.

"I keep thinking," Dumbledore said, "back to the first time, for me. After Grindelwald, you know. I had such hopes. Evil had been soundly defeated, the world ahead seemed so full of promise." He looked at the Quiddich players, as they whirled joyously around each other. "And all the while, there was Tom."

Dumbledore sighed. "Who are we missing this time, Remus? What lost child is out there now, that I have failed, who'll be the next Voldemort?"

"I think you're asking for a level of omniscience that is beyond any mortal human," Lupin said gently. "It took many years for the boy Tom Riddle to become Voldemort, and he did so by his own choice. People cannot do right just because you tell them to, or want them to. They have to decide on their own."

"So," Dumbledore's eyes crinkled in a smile, "you tell me I am being arrogant, thinking I'm the sole bastion between good and evil, and believing it is my fault if things go wrong."

"I didn't say that," Lupin said. "And we all do rely on you, more than we should."

"But I have taken it on," Dumbledore said, "for whatever reasons you may choose to give. The power. The responsibility. The glory, perhaps."

"I have never seen you as a glory seeker," Lupin said, "Or a power seeker. I've always seen you as someone who has done what needed to be done. And thank Merlin you have."

"And what needed to be done, has been done," Dumbledore said, his voice cold and ancient. He looked down at the dog beside him with sorrowful eyes. Sev-the-Dog looked up at him, eyes fixed on Dumbledore's face. And, somehow, Lupin felt Dumbledore's awareness of the players in the Quiddich field, as their distant shouts carried over the trees, the children here for the summer because they had no place else to go. And Harry not there with them. Harry alone, with his anger.

"I do not want to sacrifice any more children," Dumbledore said, his voice hollow. "I cannot bear it any longer." He cupped Sev-the-Dog's head in his hand.

"I know Severus does not blame you," Lupin said, "for whatever wrongs you may feel you've done him." He cocked his head. "I think he would be content just to sit beside you like this for the rest of his life."

"To lie and worship at my feet, the way he used to at Voldemort's?" Dumbledore shook his head. "No, that is no kind of life, not for anyone. And," he added, with a raised eyebrow, "it would not be good for me, either. No, Remus, better he have true friends, like you. Who stand beside him, not above him."

"He loves you, though," Lupin said, "I can't see that changing."

Dumbledore stared down at the dog, the bony head still in his hand, and did not speak. Was that a tremble, in the old man's hand, Lupin thought, a quiver in his eyes? _It breaks his heart, to look at Severus_, Lupin thought. _He dares not let him get too close, or Severus will never be able to stand on his own_.

Lupin looked at the dog, and ran a hand along the silky spine. _It has always been your nature to worship, hasn't it, Severus. To turn your face up to those radiant beings above you, to feel small and insignificant beneath them. No wonder you've withstood such abuse. That you considered your own suffering to be entwined with whatever love you feel_. And then a cold, sharp thought - _where did you learn that? Who taught you that?_

"I'm worried," Lupin said, softly. "He seems to have returned to his original behavior, and he hasn't made any progress. I know it's not been very long yet. But he seems locked into his old hatreds. Of Harry, at least. I don't know how to help him move beyond that."

Dumbledore stroked the dog's head. "We will just have to see. As you say, it hasn't been very long. We must give him time."

Lupin nodded. And then said, "Harry also. I am concerned about him." He glanced at the Quiddich players again. "He is so angry."

"He has a great deal to be angry about," Dumbledore nodded. "I have failed Harry as much as I have failed Severus. Harry was even more our weapon, after all."

"Did you really have any choice? Even if he weren't the prophesied slayer of Voldemort, wouldn't he still have needed protection? Wouldn't he still have had to live with his mother's family?"

"He could have had contact with the Wizard world, at least," Dumbledore said. "He could have grown up knowing he was not alone. His family's more extreme cruelties might have been prevented." He shook his head. "But no, Harry had to be kept secret."

"I wonder how he managed to turn out so well, growing up with that family," Lupin said.

Dumbledore smiled. "He has his father's resilience. And his mother's heart, I think. A pity her parents were no longer alive. He might have lived with them." Another pat on the dog's head, and then he looked at Lupin. "I believe this is Mr. Weasley's last day to spend with Harry for a while. I suspect Harry may choose to spend a little more time with you. Which may help you with both of them, Severus and Harry together."

Lupin nodded. "We'll have to see."

They stayed on the rock until the sun moved toward the west, and the shadows of the trees stretched long over the lake. Then they climbed down and walked back to Hogwarts, and into the Great Hall for dinner.

The enchanted ceiling showed the sky turning from blue to sunset's reds and oranges. The Hall was already noisy with voices, though only a mild buzz compared to the low roar of full term. Most of the teachers were already there, seated up on the dais at the end, and the students were trickling in. Minerva smiled at Dumbledore as he took his seat beside her, and Lupin sat down in his seat further along the table. Sev-the-Dog looked puzzled for a moment - _we're by your seat, aren't we_, Lupin thought. Lupin leaned down and patted the floor by his feet. Sev-the-Dog looked up at him, in question, and Lupin smiled, and Sev-the-Dog stepped beside him, and stretched out beneath the table.

Lupin sat up, just in time to see Harry and Ron come into the Hall. He glanced down at the dog, and sure enough, Sev-the-Dog had seen them, too, through a gap in the tablecloth. The dog's body was stiff, and his gaze was fiercely directed at them. Lupin shook his head and looked back at Harry and Ron as they went to the Gryffindor table, where they sat down, alone, their former Slytherin friends back at the Slytherin table.

Harry's face looked as fierce as Sev-the-Dog's. _Is he really still angry about whatever they're feuding over_, Lupin thought. _Or is it that the anger has taken on a life of its own_.

And Lupin felt a sudden emptiness inside him; _this is the way it will be forever, Harry and Severus, each consumed and controlled by their anger, locked into these patterns, pushing everyone who cares about them away_.

He shook himself. _No, I can't believe that. It's a stage, they're both simply stuck for now, but they can each push through it, they can move beyond this. Harry especially, Harry is young, he'll pull through_. Lupin glanced down at the dog, still locked in his angry stance, looking directly at Harry.

"You, too," Lupin said, out loud, "You're going to make it through this."

Sev-the-Dog glanced up at him, with narrowed eyes, a dog sneer.

Fortunately, the food arrived then. Lupin piled food on a plate and passed it down to the floor, and watched with relief as the dog turned his attention to the savory stuffs in front of him, and no longer looked through the space in the tablecloth.

x-x-x

The next morning, Dobby was grinning a little sheepishly, when he brought breakfast. Lupin saw that there was twice the normal amount of food on the tray, and he smiled back at Dobby, and nodded.

And sure enough, almost as soon as Dobby left, there was a knock at the door. "It's Harry," said a muffled voice from outside.

Sev-the-Dog gave a low growl. "Behave," Lupin said to him, and then he called out, "Come on in, Harry."

The door opened, and Harry came in. He had a sullen look on his face, but when Lupin smiled at him, he managed to smile back, before flopping down in a chair. "Hope you don't mind me coming over uninvited."

"Not at all," Lupin said, glancing down at the dog. Sev-the-Dog was glaring, but he lay still in his place on the sofa. Lupin put the dog's food out next, giving him a pat on the head, "Good dog," before serving himself.

Harry concentrated on his plate, eating quickly. _Focus on the food, and you won't have to think about anything else_, thought Lupin.

"Any plans for today?" Lupin asked carefully.

Harry shrugged. "Ron starts his new job today, so I'm on my own."

"No Quiddich, then?" Lupin asked, head cocked to one side. _This is a dangerous question_, he thought.

Harry dug fiercely into his eggs with a fork and his face grew hard. "No," he said.

Lupin kept his face calm. "Oh well," he said, "but there's still lots to do around Hogwarts. No one ever explored the place completely, not even the Marauders."

Harry's fork made a ringing sound as it hit the plate, and Harry's face looked hard. He put a bite in his mouth and chewed it as if it were as tough as leather.

_No fun without Ron_, thought Lupin. "If you like, I, um, borrowed a broomstick from Madame Hooch's student brooms. Maybe we could go flying today."

"Maybe another time, Professor," Harry said, "Not today."

_Determined to be miserable, aren't we_, Lupin thought. He tried desperately to think, _let's see, how can a middle-aged invalid werewolf amuse a sullen teen-aged boy_. He couldn't come up with much. If it were Hermione, it would have been easy, just suggest a trip to the Library. But not Harry.

Harry's eyes flicked over to Sev-the-Dog, who had never stopped glaring at Harry, even while eating. Harry, for a moment, returned that stare with one equally ugly.

Sev-the-Dog jumped up to his feet on the sofa, snarling, and crouching as if to lunge at the boy. Lupin immediately snatched up his wand, and called out a few words, and the snarl melted from the dog's face, and he slid back down onto the sofa, eyes half closed.

Lupin knelt down by the dog, petting his head, and saying, softly, "It's all right, it's all right," over and over. Then he sat back in his chair, keeping a hand on the dog's head.

Harry was smiling sardonically at him. "Good trick."

Lupin looked ruefully down at Sev-the-Dog. "It's one I looked up. It doesn't put him to sleep, but it makes him, uh, very relaxed. I'm hoping it'll help him. You know, you're here, close by him, and maybe he'll be able to see that you won't hurt him."

Harry nodded. He knelt down on the floor by the sofa, and tried to put a hand up to the dog's head, but the dog pulled back, and his lips lifted to show his white fangs, and a low growl sounded in his throat. Harry frowned, and moved back to his seat. "Rotten dog," he said, "Why does anyone care about it? Don't they put down vicious dogs?"

Lupin took a deep breath. "Sometimes. But this one's worth it."

"I don't see why," Harry said, sliding around in the chair.

Lupin kept his hand on the dog's head, rubbing its ears. "What do you think about a . . . a creature who has known nothing but cruelty, but who has put himself in danger, and saved lives, not just once, but many times."

Harry shrugged. "He's still vicious."

"Yes."

Harry shrugged again.

_He's not in a rational mood_, Lupin thought, _I shouldn't even try to argue with him_.

Harry stayed with Lupin all morning. It was very unsatisfactory for both of them. Harry rejected any pastimes that Lupin suggested, and seemed to want to lie in various positions in the chair, looking sullen and answering in monosyllables. Lupin finally decided to let him be, better he be miserable here than miserable all alone.

They had lunch in Lupin's quarters, which Lupin thought was better than asking Harry to sit at the Gryffindor table all by himself. Lunch was a repeat of breakfast. Lupin thought, after lunch, he was going to insist that Harry and he go down to visit Hagrid; if Hagrid couldn't cheer Harry up, at least he could help dilute the misery.

And then there was a knock at the door. "Professor," called a familiar voice.

Lupin couldn't help smiling, although he also couldn't help glancing warily at Harry. Harry's body froze, and Lupin couldn't read his face, but a feeling of rebellion rose in Lupin, and he called out, "Come in."

The door opened, and Hermione appeared, smiling shyly in the doorway.

Harry did not move.

Lupin said, quickly, "Come on in, we're having lunch, you can join us, pull up a chair." _I'm babbling_, he thought.

Hermione looked over at Harry, and she gave him a smile.

Harry stood up. Lupin held his breath. _Please, Harry, please don't be stupid_.

And Harry's face broke into a grin, and he was beside Hermione in three steps. He threw his arms around her, and held her in a fierce bear hug. "Hermione," was all he said.

Hermione grinned back, and Lupin could see a tear fall, from one eye. "I'm glad to see you, too, Harry," she said, "I've missed you."

Lupin leaned back in the chair, sighing with relief. He gave Sev-the-Dog's head a few pats. At least something was looking better now, for Harry at least. Sev-the-Dog's tail thumped lightly a few times against the sofa, and the still stupefied dog leaned his head into Lupin's hand. "We still have to work on you," Lupin said, under his breath, "but we have time."

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 12

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: June 1, 2004

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: it's all J.K. Rowling's, not mine.

Acknowledgements: thanks to beta reader Patti for looking this over.

Author's Note: Again, sorry about taking so long with this. The semester was brutal. And I'm starting summer school and that isn't looking so good, either. I'll do what I can. I promise, though, I'm not going to abandon this story.

Another reason this was so late is that it was a harder chapter for me to write - it's my first action scene, so I'm interested in knowing whether it worked or not.

Special note to Emiliana (whoa, I've been translated) - if you want to post your Italian version of Essential Qualifications, it's quite all right with me. Just say who the originator was and all that.

Thanks as always for all the reviews, and for all those who e-mailed me directly.

x-x-x

Chapter 12

Dumbledore waved his hand, and over the center of Hagrid's rough wooden table a brilliant flame shot up, twisting, changing colors from yellow to red, blue, green, purple, then back to yellow again. The colors played around the room, dancing along the walls, striking against the furniture, and lighting the faces of everyone sitting around the table. Only a few of them, tonight. Tomorrow, there would be a big party at the Weasley's, but tonight, there were only Dumbledore, Hagrid, Harry, of course, Hermione, Ron, and Lupin, who sat away from the table against the wall, keeping a hand at all times on the head of Sev-the-Dog, who sat at his feet.

In the center of the flame, numbers began to appear, one after the other and everyone around the table began to say out loud, "Five, four, three, two, one, MIDNIGHT!" and then they all shouted, "Happy Birthday, Harry!" and cheered. The flame exploded into fireworks that shot around the room, bouncing and fizzing like rainbow colored sparklers, until the last tiny light winked out.

Where the flame had been on the table, there was now an enormous birthday cake, covered in eighteen flaring candles. Harry flushed, an embarrassed smile on his face, then he took a deep breath, and blew out all the little flames, to the accompaniment of more cheers and clapping from everyone around him.

Lupin smiled and leaned back in his chair, content to watch the others, to listen to Ron and Hermione chatter happily while cake was cut and passed around, answered every so often by Hagrid's deep rumble, or Harry's shy voice. Dumbledore was quiet, watching like Lupin, though he caught Lupin's eye at one point, and they both smiled at each other.

Harry had been so much better the past week, since Hermione came back. Not totally well, the anger was still there, but he was smiling again, his normal, gentle smile. Hermione couldn't visit long, but she had managed to come at least a few hours each day - "My parents are in a seminar, so I'm free in the afternoons." Lupin had seen the two of them, Harry and Hermione, walking around the Hogwarts grounds, talking quietly with each other. Ron had joined Harry in the evenings, after his job was over for the day, and Harry ate breakfast with Lupin every morning. Even Hagrid had seen a lot of the boy as well, and it was clearly doing Harry good.

And this night, especially, Harry's eyes had their old glow back. It was the first real birthday he'd ever had, he'd said, the first where he wasn't sitting alone, in his room, back with his Muggle family, but instead was here, surrounded by his friends.

Lupin felt a cold touch on his hand, and looked down. Sev-the-Dog looked up at him, with cool eyes. Lupin noticed the plate on the floor was empty. "Oh, you want some more, do you?" he said. Sev-the-Dog looked back haughtily, not even remotely like the typical pleading dog's eyes. Lupin chuckled quietly, reached for another piece of cake from the table and put it down on the plate on the floor. "No more, though," he said. If a dog could cock an eyebrow, then that would have described the glance Sev-the-Dog gave him, before lying back down and elegantly nibbling at his plate.

Unfortunately, there had been no improvement in Sev-the-Dog's behavior over the last week, other than that he seemed to be getting used to his situation. He was continually going off on his own, enough so that Lupin had stopped worrying about it when it happened. Every time he checked the mirror, invariably he'd see the dog stalking around the grounds, usually shadowing Harry. It was so like the boy Severus had been, and the way he'd followed James. Lupin would shake his head sadly, and go fetch him. Harry seemed to find it amusing now - Hermione must have managed to smooth it over with him. At least Harry didn't try to bait the dog anymore.

But, except for his anger towards Harry, Sev-the-Dog seemed content. Lupin would take him for walks around the grounds, they would visit Hagrid, or sit on the rock by the lake. Or they'd sit quietly together in Lupin's rooms, the dog curled up beside him while Lupin read. Lupin found himself enjoying the dog's company very much. He missed Severus's conversation, but Sev-the-Dog could say a lot with a mere expression, and it was nice, sitting quietly with the dog curled up beside him. Lupin had never had a dog when he was growing up - dogs, any pets, didn't work well in a house with a werewolf - and Lupin found he was enjoying the company of this one.

He leaned over and gave Sev-the-Dog a pat, and there was a wave of the long, silky tail in response. So far, today, the dog's hair was clean and straight - Lupin had been careful to keep him away from Harry - and while the dog was never going to be a beauty, he looked rather handsome, particularly when combined with his elegant air.

The night continued, with talk and laughter, and the sounds of eating and drinking. The room was lit by the warm yellow light of lanterns throwing soft shadows on the walls, and the music of voices and laughter sounded around the room. Lupin found himself drifting off, eyelids fluttering closed, as he sank lower and lower in his chair. This was much later than he was used to staying awake, these days. He was still an invalid, and wasn't up to his full strength.

Inevitably, there had to be that sad moment when a chair was drawn back from the table with THAT particular motion that said, it's time we were moving on, it's over for the night. Everyone else slowly followed suit, standing and talking still, but slowly moving toward the door, and then outside.

Lupin followed with the rest. The air outside was warm and wet, soft as a blanket. There might be some rain tomorrow, but for now, the sky was clear, and the stars were bright, and a thin new moon shimmered above them - he still had nearly two weeks before the full moon. He breathed in the smell of the grass, and the warm air, but the scents seemed dull. His sense of smell was still sharper than a normal human's, but his werewolf senses were at their lowest ebb, this far away from the full moon.

And now, the sound of voices parting. Dumbledore was going on back to Hogwarts, while Harry would walk Ron and Hermione to the gate. Dumbledore caught Lupin's eye, and Lupin nodded, and followed Harry and the others as they walked along the path, Sev-the-Dog stepping beside him, instantly changing from elegantly lazy party attendee to alert guard dog.

Lupin kept back a little ways, not wanting to intrude on their conversation - the three of them were so close, they finished each other's sentences. He could be content just listening to them. Lupin smiled, and put a hand on Sev-the-Dog's back, and felt the dog move a little closer to him.

They reached the gate, and Lupin pulled out his wand and stepped through. Sev-the-Dog walked beside him - with Lupin's sense of smell so impaired, it was better to have the dog check things out along with him.

_And my eyes aren't any better_, Lupin thought ruefully. All he could see, in the dim light, were blacks and greys: ground, sky, and shadows. He held his wand out, and spoke a threat-detecting spell, but that showed nothing. He watched the dog, who circled around, his head moving up and down, sometimes snaking low against the ground, sometimes raised high to sniff the air. But his body showed nothing to indicate any alarm. After a few minutes, he returned to Lupin's side, and sat down.

"All clear," Lupin said, "Come on out."

Ron and Hermione gave Harry a final hug, and then came outside beside Lupin. "Good night, Harry," Hermione called, "We'll see you tomorrow, at the Weasley's."

"Oh, yeah, Harry," Ron called, "I almost forgot. Dad's going to come by tomorrow after lunch to get you. He's going to take you by the Ministry so you can get your Apparating license, he's got it all set up. Then he'll bring you on over to our place."

Harry grinned. "I'd forgotten about that. That's right, I'm legal now."

"Not until you've got your license, Harry," Hermione said.

Harry grinned and rolled his eyes at her. Lupin had to smile, too.

And then he felt Sev-the-Dog press against him. It wasn't a random touch, he could feel tension in the dog's body. He looked down, and saw that the dog was staring intently at a spot just in front of them. Lupin looked, but could see nothing. _What is it?_

And then it hit him, a change in the air, and the smell of a human, but filthy, the stink strong enough to make him step back, nose wrinkling in pain. The air in front of them flickered, and then filled as a shape Apparated before them, a black, wild silhouette, tatters of clothing hanging off a skeletal frame, hair lank against a face little more than a skull, eyes as mad as any crazed werewolf. The figure's arm was raised, and the wand was blazing.

"Ron, Hermione, Apparate now!" Lupin called out, raising his wand. Sev-the-Dog's haunches tensed as he prepared to lunge at the figure, but it was too late. Light flashed from the wand, and Lupin felt the blast hit him, and knock him to the ground. He heard Ron and Hermione cry out, and the thuds as they, too, fell, while Sev-the-Dog gave a yelp of pain as he went down beside Lupin and lay still.

Lupin tried to move. Everything below his waist felt completely numb, but he could move his arms, just barely. He tried to concentrate, to Apparate, but couldn't manage it, he was too weak. _What about the others? Were they all right?_ He couldn't hear anything from them, no sound, no indication of any movement. They must have been knocked unconscious in the blast.

_All right then_, he thought, _play dead_. He hoped that was what Ron and Hermione were doing. But his wand was in his hand still, pinned under his body, and he could move the arm a little. He might be able to get it free enough, so that he could aim the wand, get a shot out. But his body moved with agonizing slowness, and he wondered if he was too weak to send any kind of strike against her. But he had to try.

He opened his eyes, just enough to see. The strange, scarecrow figure was facing a little away from him, arms down. _Recovering from the blast that had been aimed against them_, Lupin thought. _Merlin, is this Bellatrix?_ Lupin could see no resemblance anymore to the beautiful woman he had once known in the strange creature that now stood before him.

Bellatrix flung her arms out, still facing – where? _The gate! Harry!_ thought Lupin.

"Aren't you going to come out, little Potter?" Bellatrix called, her voice harsh. "They aren't dead. Not yet."

Lupin turned his head carefully, until he could see Harry, standing in the gate, just behind the threshold. He had drawn out his wand, and a fountain of red fireworks was blazing up against the night sky – a distress call. _Good lad_, Lupin thought, _you're learning to think before you act_. As long as Harry stayed on the Hogwarts grounds, behind the gate, he would be safe.

"No one will come, not in time!" Bellatrix shouted, her crazy eyes locked on Harry, her face contorted with hatred.

And as long as Bellatrix's attention was fixed on Harry, Lupin might be able to get his wand free. If he could distract her with a blast from his wand, even a weak one, that would give Harry an opening to strike. He continued to inch his hand under him, feeling the tip of his wand slide slowly along his chest.

Harry's face grew dark, and for a moment, he looked as if he would come through the gates, but he stood his ground, continuing to send up the red sparks from his wand into the sky. The red light reflected all around them, on the ground, in the sky, even along Bellatrix's face, tracing the bones of her skull in deep red, throwing black shadows in the hollows of her cheeks and eyes, turning her even less human than before. A living embodiment of hatred. _All she has is revenge_, thought Lupin, _is there anything else left in her?_

Which was fine with Lupin for now. _Yes, keep your eyes on Harry, he's safe from you, and I've just about got my wand in place, just a little more_. He felt the tip slide out from under him. Just a little more, turn the hand, so he could aim it. He took a deep breath, and tried to gather his strength. He would only have one shot.

"Ah, ah, ah, werewolf, get that wand away!" Lupin looked up to see her wild face turned to his, and then her foot struck him sharply in the side, knocking his wand out of his hand, and sending it beyond his reach. She raised her wand and pointed at his heart, the light at the end of it sparkled white like molten metal. A silver blast! _I'm dead_, he thought, in the moment the light crackled and shot from her wand at him, _I can't possibly survive another blast of silver_.

And then a spear of clear, white light shot across, blocking the silver, and he heard Harry's voice, shouting, "Don't touch him!" Harry had stepped outside the gate, his arm still raised, wand glowing.

Lupin saw the grin flash across Bellatrix's face, and she turned, quick as a striking cobra, to send a shot directly at Harry, but he had already stepped back behind the gate, and the light of her blast bounced harmlessly off in front of him.

"Stay back, Harry!" Lupin heard Hermione's voice call out weakly. "That's what she wants, to bring you out!"

"Come out now, Potter, or they die!" Bellatrix called. She smiled, and casually aimed her wand at Hermione, sending out a blast of scarlet light.

Harry stepped out of the gate, wand up, and Bellatrix's shot was knocked aside, earthing itself in the ground perilously close to Lupin's head. He heard the grass sizzle and the smell of charred earth filled his nose.

Another blast from Harry's wand followed the first, but Bellatrix whirled and caught it with her wand, easily, then sent another blast back towards Harry, who retreated back behind the gate. _She's faster than any of us_, Lupin thought, _faster even than Harry. She'd been an even match for Sirius, and he'd been the best of them all_.

Bellatrix laughed, and, with a flick of her wand, sent another shot toward Ron and Hermione. Harry had to jump forward to block it, and she whirled again to shoot at him. Harry was slow, but he managed to block this one as well. _Hermione's right_, thought Lupin. _That's her strategy, she'll keep aiming at us, forcing him out of the gate, keeping him focusing on protecting us, and not himself_.

"Ron, Hermione," he managed to croak, "Can you Apparate?"

"No, Professor, I've been trying," came Hermione's voice. "Can't manage it," Ron's voice said at the same time.

_So we're all stuck_, thought Lupin, his heart sinking, as he watched Harry narrowly dodge Bellatrix's latest blast. _He's good, though. If he can just keep this up until help arrives, we have a chance_.

Then he cried out in pain, as Bellatrix shot him in the knee, and he heard her laugh. "Just a little silver, this time, werewolf," she said. "You won't die yet."

Lupin felt tears in his eyes, the pain in his knee was agonizing, and he could feel it spreading up his leg. _Bellatrix realizes she's running out of time, _he thought,_ she's got to draw Harry out soon. And if she can't_?

_She'll kill the three of us, if that's all she can have_, Lupin thought. _She'll hurt Harry any way that she can_.

He heard a cry from Ron, as another of her shots caught him, and Harry's own shot came too late to block it. Bellatrix's own shot at Harry glanced off less than an inch away from him as he barely made it back behind the gate.

Bellatrix stood still now, her arms at her sides. _Dumbledore has to have seen Harry's signal by now_, thought Lupin, _she has no time left_.

"No more playing, little Potter," Bellatrix said. "I will make you suffer as I have suffered, for now. I'll come for you another time."

She stood tall, her tattered robes whipping around her, and she raised her wand again, and pointed it at Hermione. This time, the tip of her wand glowed green, a sickly green that Lupin recognized. The Killing Curse! Her haggard face contorted as she opened her mouth, her lips shaping the first of those terrible words, and Lupin knew that Hermione was going to die, and there was nothing any of them could do to stop it, he could only lie here helplessly.

"No!" screamed Harry, and he lunged forward, beginning a shot that Lupin knew would do no good, not against the Avada Kavedra, not once Bellatrix had begun it.

And then a black shadow lunged from the ground, almost at Bellatrix's feet, and great jaws clamped around her hand. The wand splintered into a million fragments as the fangs closed down. The sick green light exploded around them, lighting up the clearing as bright as noon. Lupin cried out in pain, and he heard Ron and Hermione's voices as well, shrill, while Bellatrix screamed and toppled to the ground, the dog going down with her.

_Severus!_ Lupin's mind brought up an echo of memory, of that day, Voldemort's last battle, when he saw Severus fall to the ground, and was so certain he was dead. _Too cruel, for him to have survived that, for us to have saved him again from himself, only a few weeks ago, to lose him now_.

The agony in Lupin's leg had spread up to his body now, he could feel it crawling up his belly, his chest, his neck. He heard Ron and Hermione, gasping nearby – _please, let them be all right!_ A blackness crept over his mind, and the last memory he had was the sound of Harry's voice, quivering, as if he were crying, saying, "Hang on, you've got to hang on, help is coming" before the darkness overtook him.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 13

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: June 4, 2004

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling's, not mine.

Acknowledgements: Thanks again to Patti and Michelle for beta-reading.

Author's Note: This one is really short. My original plan was for this to be part of the previous chapter, but I decided they needed to be separate. (Okay, I admit it, I also wanted to see how many people would chew me out over the cliffhanger.) It's very rough, but I didn't want to leave people hanging over the weekend, and I hope it gets its point across.

x-x-x

Chapter 13

Harry shifted in the chair he'd placed between the two hospital beds. Lupin lay in one, the black dog in the other. If it weren't for the little glowing lights at the foot of each bed, pulsing softly with each heartbeat, he would have thought they were dead, they lay so still. But the lights shone in the dark room, the only lights there, other than the starlight that came through the windows.

Madame Pomfrey had said they would both survive. "I thought I'd seen the last of this for a while," she'd said, shaking her head sadly, as they were brought in only a few hours ago - Hermione, Ron, Lupin, and the dog, all of them unconscious. Bellatrix had been taken somewhere else, Harry didn't know where, and didn't much care at the moment.

Dumbledore and Hagrid had both come in answer to Harry's distress signal, after what seemed like an eternity, though Harry knew it had been only a matter of minutes after Bellatrix went down. Dumbledore had brought them all instantly to the hospital. He'd called for Madame Pomfrey, and soon she was bustling around them in a nightcap and dressing gown. Ron and Hermione had been pronounced well enough to be sent home; Dumbledore had seen to it. And Lupin's black dog would be up in a matter of a day or two, Madame Pomfrey had said. But she'd looked gravely at Lupin, and it was only after many potions and intricate incantations before she finally announced that he was out of danger. "But it's quite a setback, he'll have to start all over again, getting the silver out of his body," she'd said.

Madame Pomfrey had tried to talk Harry into going back to his own room, but he'd refused, and she'd agreed to let him stay here. She'd offered him a sleeping draught, but he'd refused that, too.

So she'd left him in the chair, knees drawn up and a blanket around his shoulders, in the dark hospital room.

All kinds of thoughts ought to be whirling through his head right now, but instead he felt blank and numb. All that mattered was that they were all right: Hermione, Ron and Lupin, and that was all that he could think of now.

Ron and Hermione might even be well as early as a few days from now. But Lupin was another matter. Harry turned to look at the form stretched out in the bed next to him, covered in white sheets. Lupin's face looked almost as bad as it had after the first attack, just over a month ago, grey and lined, eyes sunken. He hadn't even recovered from that first attack and now he'd been hit again, even if it had been only a small strike. Another one like it, Madame Pomfrey had said, and they would have lost him. As it was, it would be many more months before Lupin would be completely well again. _But he will be well again_, Harry thought. _We'll take care of him_.

Harry heard a rustling sound, and a soft whimper. The dog. He turned, and saw that the dog had shifted in the bed, pulling his legs up near him, curling up, and then the ugly head rolled, and turned toward Harry, and its eyes opened to stare at him. The eyes narrowed, and Harry could see the ghost of the dog's usual hating glare, but it was faint. The dog was too weak to manage anything more.

Harry looked back into the dog's black eyes, but it was just a look. No baiting, no glaring. _I'd be dead if not for him_, Harry thought, _if he hadn't grabbed Bellatrix's hand, when she was about to aim the killing curse at me. He saved me, and yet he hates me_.

Harry cocked his head at the dog. _I'll never think badly of you again_, he thought, _no matter how you look at me_. And Harry smiled.

The dog tensed and looked away.

Harry pulled his chair closer to the hospital bed, and reached out very slowly with one hand. The dog made a gesture with its head, as if it were trying to snap at him, but it couldn't manage it, and could only curl back its lips from its teeth. Harry gently set his hand down on the dog's head and began to rub behind its ears. The dog went rigid, and tried to pull away, only to give up with a deep sigh.

And then it began to tremble, Harry could feel it in his fingers, could see it along the dog's whole body.

"It's all right," Harry said, "it's all right."

But the dog continued to shake, and when Harry leaned over to look in the dog's face, to catch those black eyes again, he didn't see hatred there. He saw fear.

_Why is he afraid of me,_ Harry wondered, _so much more than anyone else? Lupin said I must look like someone who'd hurt him in the past. Did he have a cruel master?_ Quite likely, if this breed traditionally served old, dark wizard families. He could have come from the same kind of home as Dobby had.

"I know you've been treated badly," Harry said, still rubbing the dog's ears, "but that's all over now. You're safe now." He smiled a little. "You and I have a lot in common, you know. I didn't have a good life growing up either. Not until I came to Hogwarts."

The dog was still shaking, and it turned its head away again.

Moving very slowly, Harry slid off the chair and knelt by the side of the bed, still rubbing the dog's head with his fingers. The dog tried to pull away again, legs pumping weakly against the bedsheets.

"It's all right," Harry said, as he wrapped his arm around the dog's body to hold him steady. The dog shook even more. "It's all right," Harry crooned, "I'm not going to hurt you, I'll never hurt you."

The dog was still shaking, but he stopped struggling against Harry's arms. Harry held on to him, and realized he wanted to bury his head into the dog's neck.

"You were very brave," Harry said, "You saved everybody." He felt tears in his eyes now, for the first time that night, since it had all happened. How close it had been, closer than any other time, in all the years he'd fought against Voldemort, and yet in just a matter of a few minutes, he could have lost them all. He hugged the dog again, pulling it against his shoulder, and said, "What a brave dog you are, how marvelous you are."

The dog froze. Was the trembling less strong now? Or was the dog simply too tired? Harry went on crooning, "How brave, what a good dog, what a brave dog" over and over, rubbing the dog's side with his hand.

The dog's trembling was definitely softer now. Harry very slowly got up from where he knelt, and edged his way onto the bed. The dog tried to pull away one last time, but gave up, almost collapsing back against the bed.

Harry gently placed his hands under the dog's head, cupping its chin to pull its face around to meet his, and said, "Thank you. Thank you for saving my life."

The dog looked back at him, suddenly still now, no longer trembling. Harry thought, _he's not even breathing_. The fear in the black eyes was still there, but there was something else now, something Harry couldn't define.

Then the dog turned away from him and bowed its head. _Like a surrender_, Harry thought, _as if he's given up, he's too weak to fight anymore_. Harry's stomach lurched - _I shouldn't have done this, I've pushed him too far_.

The dog let out a deep sigh, and then, slowly, laid his head in Harry's lap.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 14

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: August 30, 2004

Rating: PG13

Acknowledgements: As always, thanks to Patti and Michelle for their approval.

Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long to update, but I've got a really good excuse. I had to have surgery over the summer, nothing life threatening or anything like that, but, while the surgery went very well, I had a minimum six week recovery period. I was hoping I would do lots of writing and reading during that time, but I wasn't up to more than daytime television (I am now completely hooked on Dr. Phil). I am feeling much better now, though. Grad school is starting, but I'm hoping my schedule won't be so bad this semester.

Thanks to all of you who kept reviewing all that time, even when I hadn't posted anything. I really appreciate it. I apologize to those who e-mailed me directly and didn't get an answer, I wasn't answering a lot of stuff there.

x-x-x

Chapter 14

Lupin slowly became aware. He knew where he was by the smell. The hospital ward at Hogwarts. _Not again_, he thought, _I'm tired of being here_.

And then he remembered, and panic hit.

"Quiet, Remus, quiet," a voice beside him said, and he felt a hand on his shoulder, pressing down. "Everyone's all right." _Whose voice? Severus?_, he wondered, but no, that was last time, when he was in the hospital before, and Severus had cared for him. No, not Severus's voice, nothing like Severus's voice, but still very familiar.

He cracked his eyes open. The world was fuzzy for a moment, then shapes began to come together, and he saw Madame Pomfrey's face close to his, smiling gently. He saw concern there, but she wouldn't be smiling like that if things were seriously wrong. He tried to smile back.

"It's all right now, Remus," she said, "You were all hurt, last night, but Dumbledore got everyone here in time. Harry is fine, Ron and Hermione were hurt, but they're both at home now. You were hurt the worst, but you're going to be all right. Although you'll have to spend some time in hospital again."

"And Severus?" Lupin managed to gasp out.

"He was hurt, too," she said, "but he'll be up before you will." She cocked an eyebrow. "In fact, there's something you should see."

She reached under his shoulders and raised him up. Lupin could see a little better now. The hospital ward was dark, but not the dark of night, more the deep grays of very early morning. It was dawn, or near dawn, and soft light shone through the windows. Madame Pomfrey moved back, keeping her arm under his shoulder, giving him a full view of the bed next to his.

There lay Sev-the-Dog, legs curled under him. And beside him, hugging the dog close, head against the dog's neck, lay Harry. Both were sound asleep.

Lupin's eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open.

"I found them like that when I came in this morning," said Madame Pomfrey.

She laid Lupin's head back down on the pillow. "I'll get your potion ready now - it won't be Severus's handiwork, but it'll do."

Lupin lay staring at the two of them in the next bed. Neither of them were smiling. Harry's face, even in sleep, had a look almost of desperation, clinging to the dog.

And Sev-the-Dog, what did he see there? The dog's body was tense, even while sleeping, and in the long face, the thin limbs, there was no sign of joy, or acceptance, or contentment. _No_, Lupin thought, what I see there is _defeat_.

And then a wild thought hit him. _How could we ever have thought you were a cat, Severus? Cats are independent, they recognize no superior. No, it is a dog who seeks a master_.

He looked at the dog, lying tense on the bed. _You fight it, but it's your nature, isn't it. You've served masters all your life. Dumbledore, Voldemort before him, who before that? Lucius? Your parents? Dominate, or be dominated, that's all you know. You try to be the dominator, but you aren't very good at it, your heart's not in it. You can frighten your students, for a while, but it doesn't last. They grow up, they figure you out. Even Neville isn't afraid of you anymore. Poor Severus_, Lupin thought. _You are an anachronism, my friend. The times that produced the likes of you, the days of the old aristocratic lords, they're long gone. We don't recognize them anymore_.

Then he turned his eyes back to Harry's face, pressed against the black dog's neck. _He's just a dog to Harry, and a dog is wonderful to have around when you're unhappy, I've found that out these past few weeks. Harry won't be your master, Severus. Can you learn not to need one?_

Lupin closed his eyes. _I don't know whether to be happy or sad, he thought, it's more than I can handle now. We're alive, I will be happy for that much. The rest will have to wait_.

x-x-x

Lupin woke again to the warmth of sunlight on his face. He opened his eyes and looked at the clock on the wall opposite. It was late morning. He turned his head to look beside him.

Harry was in the chair between the beds, legs drawn up, arms hugging his knees. His eyes were open, but he stared blankly, not focusing. Beyond Harry, Lupin could see Sev-the-Dog lying still in the bed, curled up, asleep.

Lupin shifted in the bed, trying to sit up, and Harry started.

"Professor Lupin!" Harry said, and he almost jumped over to Lupin's side, reaching out to pull up the pillows and place them behind Lupin's shoulders.

Lupin smiled. "Thank you, Harry." He rested back on the pillows and grinned crookedly. "I can't seem to stay out of this place."

Harry didn't smile back. His green eyes were anguished, and his face was pale and drawn. He sat back in the chair.

"Were you hurt?" Lupin said, "Madame Pomfrey told me Ron and Hermione were back at home, recuperating, and you looked all right, but I couldn't really see."

Harry shrugged. "No, I'm fine. Not a scratch on me."

"I'm glad," Lupin said.

"Yeah," Harry said, in a low voice, "Can't have the great Harry Potter getting hurt, can we? Everybody else can get hurt, but I've got to be kept safe."

"That's not true anymore, Harry," Lupin said. "And you were very brave, and very clever, last night. We'd all be dead if not for you."

Harry shrugged again. "You wouldn't have been in danger in the first place if it weren't for me."

"I think Bellatrix was after all of us," Lupin said. "You were just at the top of her list."

Harry stared intently at his shoes. He looked as if he were about to say something, then he closed his mouth fiercely. Lupin watched.

Finally, Harry took a deep breath and said, "I want this to be over. Why can't it be over?"

"Bellatrix is supposed to be the last of them."

Harry slumped lower in his chair. "I keep waiting for the day when I can be just an ordinary person. Not HARRY POTTER, not the child of prophesy, slayer of Voldemort and all that rot. To just be me, just regular Harry."

Lupin looked sadly at Harry. "I wish I could say it will happen, in time, but I can't, Harry. You've done things now, you took the role that was forced on you, and you've filled it better than anyone could hope. And, unfortunately for you, everyone knows it."

Harry continued to stare at his shoes. His mouth twisted, as if he were eating something bitter. "Did I?" he said, "Did I really fill that role so well?" He looked at Lupin. "How many people were hurt because of me, because of my mistakes? How many people are dead?"

"This was a war, Harry," Lupin said, "People were going to be hurt, and people were going to die. People died long before you were even born."

Harry was still looking at his shoes and his face didn't change.

"That was the situation we were in, Harry. People were going to die, we all knew this. And no one could be perfect, no one could know everything." Lupin shrugged. "Most of the time, for most people, the consequences of our mistakes are trivial. But not here."

Harry glared at his shoes and did not answer.

"The only way to avoid it would have been to run away," Lupin said. "You could have done that. But you didn't."

Harry shrugged. "Of course I didn't. I couldn't."

"No, you couldn't," Lupin said. "I'm not saying you should look at each loss as an unavoidable statistic. And I'm not saying you shouldn't examine what happened, each time, not because that will change the past, but so you don't make the same mistakes again."

Harry still stared at his shoes, but he wasn't glaring now.

"And you should grieve," Lupin went on, "Now we have time to grieve. For everyone we've lost." He glanced at Harry again, "Although I think, for you and I, there is one person in particular, who we both lost."

Harry closed his eyes. His face looked paler than before. "Sirius," he said, in a whisper.

Lupin closed his eyes, too, and felt the ache in his heart. The two years that had passed had not dulled the loss he felt. "Yes, Sirius," he said softly.

Harry's face crumpled for a moment, as if he were going to sob, but there was no sound. "It's my fault," he said hoarsely, "Just like Hermione said, it's my fault, if I had just done what I was supposed to do . . ."

"It wasn't your fault, Harry," Lupin said, "And Hermione doesn't think so, either, she was just angry at you, she told me."

Harry looked at Lupin sharply, he didn't say anything, but there was such anger, and such agony, in those green eyes that Lupin started.

"There were so many things that happened, if we'd changed any one of them, that day wouldn't have happened," Lupin said. "I have to share some of the blame myself. For a lot of things. And I know Dumbledore blames himself, more than he should."

"And there's Snape," Harry said darkly.

"Severus was clinging to sanity with his fingernails," Lupin said, "He was doing the best he could. I honestly don't know how he managed as well as he did."

Harry glared at him.

"And Sirius drove the two of you further apart. And I didn't stop him," Lupin said. "As usual."

"Sirius was going mad in that house," Harry said, "And Snape goaded him every chance he could."

"Yes," Lupin said, "And Sirius didn't give Severus any cause not to. And Severus was going mad, too, living as he was. There was too much damage, in both of them, by that point." Lupin closed his eyes. "If Sirius hadn't spent those years in Azkaban . . ."

Lupin felt a sob of his own, deep inside him, and he winced, falling back deeper into the pillows. He looked at Harry. "If Sirius had only told me, all those years ago. I'd have believed him." Lupin sighed. "Not that there would have been anything I could do, of course," he said, bitterly, "Helpless werewolf that I am. But I would have believed him." He took a deep breath. "And Dumbledore would have believed me. And Dumbledore could have done something."

"Why didn't he tell you?" Harry said.

Lupin shook his head. "I don't know. I should have gone to him, Dumbledore could have gotten me in to him. But I was so sure he was guilty, we all were. James dead. Lily dead. Peter, or so we all thought. I didn't want to see him, I couldn't bear even thinking about him."

Lupin's head sank down to his chest. "So there's my running away. And I did run. My whole life was turned upside down that night. I lost everything. Spent a useless twelve years, until Dumbledore found me, and offered me the teaching position at Hogwarts." He looked at Harry. "I was supposed to guard you from Sirius, you know."

"Why didn't Dumbledore talk to Sirius?" Harry said.

"Why didn't Sirius talk to Dumbledore?" Lupin said. "I know Dumbledore must have given him the chance." Lupin shook his head. "Sirius must have been so certain that it was useless, that not even Dumbledore would have believed him." He closed his eyes. "Sirius would have talked to me, though. He would have talked to me."

Lupin could feel Harry's eyes on him, and he turned to meet them. "So you see, Harry, we all have mistakes, and things we should have done, but didn't do. With terrible consequences."

"It wasn't your fault," Harry said. "Sirius should have talked to someone."

"Yes, he should have," Lupin said, surprised at the anger that sounded in his voice. "Choosing to rot in Azkaban rather than say anything, knowing that Peter was loose."

"But he got out of there, as soon as he knew where Pettigrew was," Harry said, quickly.

"Yes. How like him, to take it on himself, a lone vendetta. Probably didn't have any plan in his head other than killing Peter, for all the good that would have done." Lupin shook his head again. "He must have been so certain that none of us would believe him, that we were all so convinced he was a Death Eater. And we were, it was very easy to believe he'd gone over. There was always such a streak of darkness in him."

Harry frowned.

"You saw," Lupin said, "Snape's memory in the Pensieve; I honestly don't know why he chose to remove just that one, there were so many others like it. I've thought it might be because of what he called your mother . . . I've never asked him about it." Lupin shook his head. "But you saw Sirius, that cruelty in him. I don't think James would have been half as bad as he was, without Sirius egging him on."

"He wasn't cruel, not the man I knew," Harry said.

"Not the man, no," Lupin said, "Not even the boy, most of the time. But even you saw the anger."

Harry did not answer.

"I've always wondered, back when we were boys, when Sirius sent Severus to find me, at the Shrieking Shack," Lupin said, "Sirius should have been expelled for that, you know. I've tried to think that maybe he'd forgotten just how dangerous I was, he and the others had been roaming with me at night long enough by then. But no, he knew. Maybe he thought Severus would be better at defending himself. I've tried to make excuse after excuse for him, but I can't. He knew, and he sent Severus after me, and Severus and James barely escaped with their lives.

"But Dumbledore didn't expel him. He was even lenient with him, given what he'd done. I think Dumbledore was worried for my sake, not just that Sirius was my friend, but that my own secret must be kept. But I've always wondered . . ." Lupin took a deep breath, "I've always wondered if Dumbledore was worried that, if Sirius were expelled, that he might turn to Voldemort, like his brother did. We were sixteen then, it was all over the school, just like it was these past few years at Hogwarts. If Sirius were to lose us, his friends, and return to his family . . ." Lupin shrugged. "Instead, we lost Severus. I'm sure that night had a part in driving him over, nearly getting murdered, and being treated like an afterthought, as if he didn't matter. He even got detention, you know." _Merlin_, Lupin thought, _was that what Dumbledore meant, leaving Severus alone, not intervening for him when he should have?_

Harry frowned, and was quiet for a moment. Then he looked at Lupin. "Why did he, Snape, why did he try to follow you, that night?"

"I don't know," Lupin said, glancing over at the dog despite himself. "I've never asked him. And he never told on me, my secret. He kept it for years, even as a Death Eater. Not until my year teaching at Hogwarts, after that night, back at the Shrieking Shack, when Sirius came back."

Harry made a sneering face.

"Severus has apologized to me since," Lupin said, again glancing at the still form of the dog. "It wasn't easy for him, but he did. That night sent him over the edge, I think." He grinned wryly. "Having me back at the school all year didn't help either. He was so certain Sirius and I both were Death Eaters. And we were so certain he was. Even as he tried to save you that night."

"I wasn't in any danger," Harry said.

"But he didn't know that," Lupin said. "And you were in danger. Not from Sirius, of course. But you were in danger from Peter. And you were in danger from me - not because I was a Death Eater, as Severus thought, but because I was a werewolf, on the night of the full moon, and I had been so careless as to forget to drink my potion." Lupin shook his head. "I wonder what it must have been like for Severus, seeing our names, Sirius and me, on the map, at the Shrieking Shack that night? What nightmares that must have brought back."

Harry was frowning again.

Lupin sighed. "Just because you see someone's flaws, or are even angry with them, doesn't mean you love them any less. Or that you are betraying them. Sirius was a great man, but he was deeply flawed."

"He couldn't help it!" Harry said, "With that family of his, that house-"

"I agree," Lupin said, "That home he came from was a nightmare. I remember how he was, first year. If he hadn't been in Gryffindor, I think he and James would have hated each other, and it was a near thing even with us all in the same room together. He had great reason to be the way he was. But that doesn't mean he was right. At least about some things."

Harry continued to frown.

"He was human, Harry," Lupin said, "We are all flawed. He, I, Severus - if what Sirius came from was a nightmare, I don't think I have a word to describe what Severus came from, from what little I know."

Harry still did not say anything.

"Don't make the same mistakes we've made, Harry," Lupin said. "Don't continue to fight stupid battles just because we did. Sirius would be the first person to say that."

But Harry had turned away and was stroking the dog's head. Sev-the-Dog tensed up, and the one eye Lupin could see slitted open.

_Well_, thought Lupin, _that was probably enough for now. I'll let it go, we'll just have to see if anything I've said has taken_.

There was a noise at the other end of the hospital ward. Lupin looked up to see Madame Pomfrey approaching, two trays floating on either side. "You both need some food in you," she said, "And Harry, there's enough for you, too, if you're hungry."

One tray settled beside Lupin, the other hovered beside the bed with Sev-the-Dog. Madame Pomfrey settled herself on that bed, but Harry stood up.

"I can feed him," he said.

Madame Pomfrey glanced at Lupin, who nodded. "Very well, then," she said, "It'd be a help to me, I've got enough else to do."

She stood up and left them. Harry sat down on the bed with the dog.

"He probably needs to be spoon fed," Lupin said, "But he'll try and make you do it even when he's capable of eating on his own."

Harry smiled. He picked up a spoon from the tray and dipped something from one of the bowls there. He held it in front of the dog's face.

Sev-the-Dog was shaking. The black eyes flicked at Lupin, and Lupin nodded. "Go on, it's all right," he said, "I can't feed you now."

Sev-the-Dog shut his eyes, and, still quivering, he reached and took the bowl of the spoon into his mouth.

"Good dog," Harry said, his voice gentle. He patted the dog's head with his other hand, while he got another spoonful of food.

Sev-the-Dog shifted, pulling his legs under him to move along the bed. Very slowly, he laid his head in Harry's lap.

"Good dog," Harry crooned again, as he spooned another mouthful of food into the dog's mouth, stroking the bony head.

Lupin smiled, then turned his attention to the food on the tray in front of him.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 15

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: September 8, 2004

Rating: PG13

Acknowledgements: as always, thanks to my beta readers, Patti and Michelle

Author's Note: It's amazing how you get inspired to write when the alternative is reading corporate taxes . . .

x-x-x

Chapter 15

Lupin sat up in his hospital bed, blinking sleepily. The sunlight through the windows had the haziness of late afternoon, and cast long shadows on the floor. He looked over at the bed next to his, and his stomach lurched as he saw it was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Sev-the-Dog padding unsteadily up the aisle. Harry walked behind him.

Sev-the-Dog glanced back at Harry, annoyed, then climbed back into the bed and curled up, laying his head on the pillow.

Harry sat down in the chair between them. He looked much better than he had that morning; he'd certainly had a wash and a change of clothes. His face was still pale and drawn, but his body did not have the same tension, nor his face the same anguish, and the light in his eyes was back.

"Never saw a dog that used the toilet before," Harry said, as he shifted into a comfortable position in the chair.

"Er, yes," Lupin said, "He's a very unusual dog."

"I saw Hermione and Ron today," Harry said, with a little smile. "They're both awake, and Madame Pomfrey says they should be fully recovered in just a few days."

Lupin smiled back at Harry. "I'm very glad to hear it."

"She says you're doing much better than expected, too," Harry said, "She says you may be the first werewolf to develop an immunity to silver."

"I do seem to be recovering much faster than before," Lupin said. "It'd be ironic if Bellatrix wound up doing me a favor."

Harry's eyes closed for a moment. There was such relief on his face, he looked almost joyful compared to the way he'd seemed just that morning.

Madame Pomfrey came up to them. "Potion time," she said, shaking up a bottle in her hand, then pouring a measure into a cup and handing it to Lupin. She turned to Harry. "I have this for him, too," she said, nodding at the dog, and holding up what looked like a bread ball. "The medicine is inside."

"I'll feed it to him," Harry said, taking it from her. Madame Pomfrey shot an arched glance at Lupin, then gave the bread ball to Harry.

Harry sat on the bed and held the bread ball in front of Sev-the-Dog's face. "Come on, boy," he said, and he pressed the thing against the dog's nose.

Sev-the-Dog pulled his head back indignantly and looked over at Lupin.

"It's all right," Lupin said, "You need to eat that, it's good for you."

The dog glared, then he reached down, and with great dignity, took the bread ball from Harry's hand into his mouth.

Harry smiled and patted the dog on the head. "Good dog," he said. Sev-the-Dog stiffened.

Harry shook his head. "He's still scared of me," he said, "like he thinks I'm going to hit him, even when I'm being nice to him."

"I think that is what he expects," Lupin said, carefully. "It must have been how he was treated, wherever he was before."

"I guess he must have always expected to be hurt, no matter what," Harry said. "He wasn't with the Malfoys, was he? Although Dobby would have told me if he was."

_I suppose Severus was with the Malfoys, for a time, but not in the way Harry means_, Lupin thought. "You've made tremendous progress with him," he said, "in just one night."

"Only because he was too hurt to run away from me, or bite me," Harry said.

"It worked, though," Lupin said. "And he was much worse with you than anyone, it was going to take something extreme, or a lot of time, for him to accept you."

"Because someone like me was cruel to him." Harry kept rubbing the dog's ears. Sev-the-Dog did not relax and Lupin noticed he kept a little distance between them. But he wasn't pulling away, either. _It feels good, doesn't it_, thought Lupin, _I should know_.

"What's going to happen to him?" Harry said. "Once you've finished his training, or whatever it is you're doing with him."

Lupin paused. "He has a place to go to, after this," he said.

"He's got a family, a home, waiting for him?" Harry said.

"Something like that," Lupin said.

Harry frowned, but didn't answer. Sev-the-Dog shifted in the bed, as Harry kept rubbing his ears. Was there less tension now, in his muscles? And were his eyes starting to close?

"I've been thinking," Harry said, "about what you said this morning."

Lupin cocked his head at Harry.

"I talked about it, a bit, with Hermione, today," Harry said. "She says, as long as I keep hating Snape, he'll have a hold on me. And that I won't be able to put anything behind me."

"Yes," Lupin said.

Harry took a breath and frowned. "She also says that I'll be just like Snape, if I keep hating him. The way he keeps hating my father, and me."

Lupin nodded. "What do you think?"

Harry sat very still. "I think she's right." He concentrated for a moment on the dog, twisting the long hair in his fingers. Sev-the-dog sighed, and his eyes closed completely. "He's stuck, isn't he?" Harry said. "As long as he keeps hating me, hating my father, he'll stay exactly as he is."

Lupin nodded. "Yes. Although it's more complicated with him. More difficult. Because he hates himself, and cannot forgive himself." He frowned, feeling as if he'd betrayed Severus by saying this.

"Part of me wants to say it's his own fault, he brought it on himself," Harry said. "You know, when you said he was going mad, having to go to Voldemort. He chose to become a Death Eater. How can anyone forgive that?" Harry stared at the floor. "But I know it's not that simple."

Then Harry looked back up at Lupin. "I don't want to think that, you know. I'd be happy to continue to hate him, and blame him. For all the ugly, petty things he's done to me, to my friends. For just being himself. I know exactly what my father meant when he said it was easy to hate him, just for existing."

Lupin bowed his head.

"But I know that's wrong," Harry said, "If I keep it up, I'm just as bad as Snape is. Because I do understand why he hated my father." He grimaced. "I know that he's saved my life. More than once. And all I've ever felt is resentment. But that's how he felt, isn't it? When my father saved his life? It just made him hate my father even more."

Lupin nodded. "Yes."

Harry smiled crookedly again. "Pretty scary thing, isn't it? Realizing that I'm just like Snape, in some ways." He nodded. "Well, I've decided. I won't make the same mistakes he's made, and I won't be like him. I won't let myself get so locked in hatred the way I have in the past." He shrugged. "I'm not saying I forgive him, exactly, he's been nasty to me since he first met me. And I know that it wasn't all showing up to Draco, either, not the way Snape was with me. I know he hates me. I just want to get to where I don't hate him back."

"So what do you think?" Lupin said.

Harry took a deep breath. "I don't like him. I think he's a greasy git," he said. "I think there must have been something awful in him to make him become a Death Eater." He took another deep breath. "But I also think he must have had a pretty horrible life that made him that way. And I know he's tried to do right, since then, as well as he can." Harry looked at the floor. "And I do know what it is, to be picked on, and bullied, and to have no friends. How miserable I was, before I came to Hogwarts. That was a miracle for me, but I can imagine why it was a curse for him."

Lupin nodded again.

"I never thanked him," Harry said, "for all those times he's put himself in danger for me. Saved my life, or tried to. I do owe him that. A thank you."

"He probably wouldn't take it well, if you did," Lupin said. "Not the way he is now, anyway. Maybe someday. When he's ready to hear it. I hope someday he will be able to." He shrugged. "But, as you say, he's had a very horrible life, and it's scarred him deeply. It's a lot harder to recover from wounds of the spirit than wounds of the body."

Harry looked at the dog and nodded. "I hope he does recover." He looked at Lupin and grinned. "There, see - and I meant it, too. It's not like I'll ever see him much again. I can afford to be generous."

Lupin shrugged and smiled back.

x-x-x

Lupin woke to the sound of toenails clattering against the floor. He cracked his eyes open.

It was late morning, he could tell from the light without even looking at the clock. Madame Pomfrey had awakened him earlier, with a potion dose and some breakfast, but he'd fallen asleep afterwards.

As his sight cleared, he could make out the other beds in the ward. And there was Sev-the-Dog, pacing restlessly up and down the aisle. _Well_, thought Lupin, _Madame Pomfrey did say he would be up long before I was_.

He shifted up in the pillows. Sev-the-Dog saw him and immediately came over to the side of the bed, his head was just higher than Lupin's. Lupin smiled at him. "Good morning," he said.

Sev-the-Dog leaned over, Lupin felt his cold nose on his cheek and he smiled. "Yes, I'm doing better," he said, "Thank you."

"Oh, you're awake now," Harry's voice came across the ward. "Madame Pomfrey said I was to give this to you when you woke up." Harry had a cup in his hand. He reached the bed and handed the cup to Lupin. Lupin looked at it dubiously, sighed, and swallowed it as quickly as possible. _Not too bad_, he thought.

"So, you're feeling better?" Harry asked.

Lupin nodded. "Yes, I think I am. Maybe Poppy will let me out of this bed for a few minutes today."

Harry smiled. "I'm glad to hear it."

Lupin nodded at Sev-the-Dog. "He, on the other hand, looks almost well, and is ready to get out of here."

"He won't leave you," Harry said.

Lupin thought for a moment, looking at Sev-the-Dog. He lifted a hand to cup the dog's chin, and stared into the dog's black eyes. "Would you go outside with Harry for a while?"

Sev-the-Dog pulled back, just a fraction of an inch.

"I'll be fine, I'll just be sleeping here, and you need to stretch your legs. Just for a little while." Lupin looked up at Harry.

Harry knelt down by the dog. "Come on, boy, come on out with me. We won't be long, I promise." He put his hand on the dog's neck.

Sev-the-Dog looked at Harry, then back at Lupin.

Harry stood up and took a step down the aisle toward the door. "Come on, boy."

"Go on," Lupin said.

Sev-the-Dog gave him a last look, then turned and followed Harry out of the room.

It was over an hour before they came back. Madame Pomfrey was just bringing over a lunch tray for Lupin when Harry came back inside the room. Sev-the-Dog padded behind him.

Sev-the-Dog did not climb back into his own bed. Instead, he jumped up onto Lupin's bed and lay down at his feet. He eyed the contents of Lupin's lunch tray with interest.

Madame Pomfrey smiled. "I'll get one of the House Elves to bring in something for you, if you like," she said to Harry.

"Yes, please," Harry said, as he sat down in the chair. "Go on and start, Professor, I can wait."

"Any problems?" Lupin asked, as he picked up a mug of soup, handing a piece of bread to Sev-the-Dog.

"No, he was fine," Harry said. "He still doesn't want to play much, but he likes running. Mostly we just walked around together."

"I guess he's more of a working dog, not a playing dog."

"Yeah, he's a good guard dog," Harry said. "I definitely felt like he was on the watch the whole time." He smiled at the dog, then looked back at Lupin. "Did you ever give him a name?"

Lupin started. "No, I, um, never did."

"He needs a name. I needed something to call him, outside."

"I guess I thought, well, maybe he'll get a name when he goes on. To his new home," Lupin said. _Although the truth is that you already have a name_, he thought, _and I didn't want to give you another one_.

"Well, I'm going to call him 'Shadow,'" Harry said. He looked at the dog, "Would you like that? Huh, Shadow?"

Sev-the-Dog looked back at Harry, black eyes unreadable.

"Also," Harry said, "I wanted to know. You said, he's going on, to a new place."

"Yes," Lupin said.

"Could I take him instead?"

"Um," Lupin said - _Quick! Think of something!_ "He's already spoken for."

"By someone who isn't even helping him now?" Harry said.

"It's, it's not in my hands, Harry," Lupin said. "That's all I can say for now."

Harry sat back, but Lupin could tell he wasn't convinced. _I'll have to think of some story_, he thought, _I'll have to lie_.

A House Elf arrived that moment with a tray and left it suspended in the air beside Harry. Harry picked up a sandwich and broke off a big piece.

"Here, Shadow," he said, holding the food out to the dog.

Sev-the-Dog considered the offering, then bent his head and took it into his mouth.

"Good dog," Harry said, patting the dog on the head.

Harry leaned back in his chair again, but he didn't pick up his sandwich. He frowned, as if thinking about something. Lupin waited.

"Outside," Harry said, "I overheard Blaise and some of the other Slytherins talking."

Lupin looked back at Harry.

Harry was now staring down at his tray. "So where is he? Snape, I mean."

"He's gone from Hogwarts," Lupin said. "I don't think he ever intends to come back."

"But do you know where he's gone?" Harry looked directly at Lupin. "Blaise and the others, they were worried about him. That he might not be coming back, ever. Anywhere." His eyes bored into Lupin's.

"He's safe," Lupin said. "For now." He had to force his eyes not to look at the dog.

Harry still looked at Lupin. "So, what? He's in the loony bin at St. Mungo's?"

"NO." Lupin said the word too forcefully. "No," he said again, more quietly. "What makes you think he'd be there?"

"The way the Slytherins were talking," Harry said, "And I realized, I could see it happening. Let's face it, it's not like he's got much of a life, is it? He's not happy, and no one likes him. The Slytherins support him, but he's not friends with them. The only friend he has is you."

Lupin closed his eyes; Harry's words were painfully close to Severus's own, that last day.

"As I said, Harry," Lupin said, "He is safe. But as you say, he is not happy. He has been through too much. Too many things have happened to him to make him the way he is."

"Yeah," Harry said. He scooted his chair over to the end of Lupin's bed; the lunch tray followed him over as if it were on a tether. Harry began to rub Sev-the-Dog's ears again. This time, the dog did not tense up, but allowed it. "Yeah," Harry said again. "It's not so easy to re-train a person, is it? Not like this dog, here."

"No," Lupin said.

Harry looked at the dog. Sev-the-Dog returned his look directly, the black eyes meeting Harry's green ones. No glare, no sign of annoyance.

"They're a lot alike, aren't they," Harry said, slowly. "Snape, and the dog."

"Er, yes," Lupin said, caught off guard. "Very much so."

"Bad tempered, and they snap and growl at everyone."

"Yes." Lupin felt himself draw back into the pillows.

Harry looked at the dog. "That's because you're afraid, though, isn't it, Shadow," he said, rubbing the dog's head. Sev-the-Dog cocked his head at Harry. "Is Snape afraid?" Harry asked. "Is that what it is?"

Lupin hesitated. "I think," he said, "Severus spent a great deal of his life in fear, yes. Certainly these past few years, with Voldemort back. Knowing that at any time, he might be exposed."

"That's not what I meant," Harry said. "I'm not saying that wasn't hard for him, spying on Voldemort. I can see why that would send anyone over. But . . ." He looked at the dog. "It's like, with him -" he nodded at Sev-the-Dog "-he's frightened of everyone, because he's afraid he's going to be hurt. So it's like you said, he snarls first."

"Yes," Lupin said.

Harry nodded. "Snape snarls first, too, doesn't he. And it's not got anything to do with Voldemort, it's older. From back when you were all in school together, or even before that. He expects everyone to dislike him, so he snarls first." Harry shrugged. "So no one likes him." He caught Sev-the-Dog by the chin and looked into his face. "And no one likes you, either. Which is really dumb of you."

Sev-the-Dog stared haughtily back at Harry.

Harry looked into the dog's eyes. "And both of you are afraid of someone who is like me." He said it very slowly, and his hand let go of the dog's chin, and fell into his lap. Harry continued to stare at the dog.

"Um, by the way, I've got an extra biscuit here, and I really don't want it, do you?" Lupin found himself babbling, as he picked up a cookie off his tray and held it out.

Harry took it mechanically. He broke it in half and held out part for the dog, who took it from his hand.

"Good dog," Harry said. "You're a good dog. Only you mustn't snarl at people."

Sev-the-Dog swallowed, and held his head up aloofly. _Not like a subservient with a master_, Lupin thought. _More the way Severus was with him, Lupin, with a friend. I knew Harry wouldn't let you treat him like a master_, he thought.

Harry still looked at the dog. Then he lifted up his hand, and held the dog's chin again, so that they looked into each other's eyes again.

"You were very brave, you saved everyone's life, the other night," Harry said. "You've saved my life. You've always been guarding me. And I'm grateful. I haven't told you, and I should have."

Lupin caught his breath.

Harry looked back at Lupin for just a moment, but Lupin couldn't read anything in his eyes.

Then Harry smiled, and bit into his piece of biscuit. "I'll take him -" a nod at the dog "- out again this afternoon. When you're ready to take another nap."

"Yes," Lupin said, not knowing what to think. "Yes, that'll be fine."

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Title: The Wounded

Chapter: 16

Author: ReeraTheRed

Date: September 17, 2004

Rating: PG13

Author's Note: This is it, the final chapter . . .

* * *

Chapter 16

"'Shadow?'" said Hermione, frowning. "Don't you think that's a bit too negative? I mean, wouldn't that be a reminder of his past?"

Lupin shifted on the stone bench, then leaned back against the courtyard wall. He felt the coolness of the stone through his robes. It was so good to get out of the hospital ward, even for a few hours. Sev-the-Dog sat close beside him, head up, alert.

"What about 'Blackie?'" Ron said, from where he sat on another bench nearby. "Good, plain name."

"I like 'Shadow,'" Harry said. "It fits him." He reached over and, very respectfully, patted the dog on the head. Sev-the-Dog ducked his head and accepted Harry's hand.

"Don't you think he should have something more positive?" Hermione asked. She looked pointedly at Lupin.

"Like what?" asked Ron.

"I don't know," Hermione said, as she studied the dog. "How about 'Silk?' Because his hair is so silky."

Harry made a face, and Ron said, "Way too girlie for a dog like him, Hermione."

"I like it," Hermione said. "What do YOU think, Silk?" she said, turning to the dog.

Sev-the-Dog looked back at her, with expressionless eyes.

"Well, I'm going to call him 'Silk,'" Hermione said defiantly.

Harry and Ron glanced at each other.

"If we're supposed to call him positive things," Harry said, looking mischievously at the dog, "we could call him 'Snuggles.'"

"Yeah," Ron laughed, "Or 'Mr. Huggy.'"

"Honestly," Hermione said, shaking her head, although Lupin could see she was smiling.

Lupin glanced quickly at Sev-the-Dog, but the dog merely gave the boys a disdainful look down his long nose. No sign of rage, not even a hint of a fang. _You know they like you, don't you_, Lupin thought, _you understand now. And it's what you've always wanted, isn't it? To be accepted, to be one of the gang_.

Harry grinned and rubbed the dog's head again. He gave Lupin a look, very similar to the pointed look Hermione had given Lupin just a moment earlier. "Amazing how he's changed, isn't it," Harry said to Lupin. "He's about civil, isn't he?" Lupin saw Hermione start and look at Harry, then at the dog, and then at Lupin.

"It just took some kindness, and patience," Lupin said.

Harry smiled, and leaned back against the wall. "So, Professor," Harry said, and he grinned, "What kind of home did you say this dog was going to?"

"I didn't," Lupin said. And he looked at Harry. "What kind of home do you think he should be going to?"

Harry looked at the dog, and his face sobered a little. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, when Lupin heard voices coming towards them. He looked behind him, and saw a group of Slytherins coming over, Blaise Zabini in the lead. All were carrying broomsticks, and Blaise had a box with him that looked like it would hold Quiddich balls.

Harry, Ron and Hermione stood up. Harry and Ron retrieved their own broomsticks from where they leaned against the wall.

"Time to go, Professor," Harry said, "Will you be all right?"

"I'll be fine," Lupin said, "I'll probably take a nap here. Maybe if I'm feeling up to it, I'll come watch, later."

Harry nodded, and everyone waved good-bye as they headed out to the Quiddich field. Sev-the-Dog moved closer to Lupin, and together they watched them until they disappeared around a corner.

"He's doing much better now, isn't he," came Dumbledore's voice from behind.

Both Lupin and Sev-the-Dog turned their heads. Dumbledore was standing beside the bench. Lupin smiled, and Sev-the-Dog's tail gave a soft wave.

"Which one?" Lupin said, "Harry or the dog?"

"Both, now that you mention it," Dumbledore said as he sat down on the bench beside Lupin. "Though I had no doubts about Harry, once he wasn't trapped here anymore."

Sev-the-Dog moved so that he was between Dumbledore and Lupin, and Dumbledore laid his hand on the dog's head. Sev-the-Dog closed his eyes, and his tail waved again.

"I think it is nearly time," Dumbledore said.

Lupin froze. "Is he ready?"

"I think he's learned all he can from this."

Lupin felt his stomach lurch. "So what happens now?"

"We change him back. We tell him he's been unconscious, and that he has been receiving treatment. It is essentially the truth. Hopefully, he will see that he does feel better." Dumbledore held the dog's head in his hand. "He is closer to happiness now than I have ever seen him. He won't remember when he is human, but we can hope that he realizes that the possibility of happiness does exist within him."

Lupin nodded.

Dumbledore turned his eyes from the dog to Lupin. "It would be best if he could stay with you, Remus. You have an extra room in your house?"

Lupin nodded. "But he's going to need more."

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded. "I know someone who can help him."

"A therapist?" Lupin said.

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes. One I think he will talk to."

Lupin looked dubiously at Sev-the-Dog and shrugged. "If he'll talk to anyone."

"We will have to see."

x-x-x

The full moon came soon after. Lupin received drafts of Wolfsbane Potion, sent by owls from Severus's teacher, Harriet Semper. He'd expected to spend the nights curled up in his hospital bed, but the first night he changed, Sev-the-Dog took one look at him, and darted out of the room, only to return a little while later with Lupin's red ball in his mouth, followed by Harry. Harry spent the evening gently tossing the ball at Lupin while he sat in bed. Sev-the-Dog sat to one side and watched, though whenever Lupin caught his eye, he would look down his nose at them.

Like last time, when the full moon was over, once Lupin recovered from his initial exhaustion, his healing sped up dramatically. Within a few days, he was able to move back into his rooms, and he fell into the comfortable routines he'd developed before at Hogwarts.

Harry, Ron and Hermione still visited nearly every day. Ron had his job, but he came by in the evenings, and every weekend he was there. He and Harry usually played Quiddich, and Lupin would often watch, Sev-the-Dog sitting beside him. On days Harry had to himself, he'd come to Lupin's rooms. Or he'd wander the grounds, taking Sev-the-Dog out to walk with him - supposedly because Lupin was still recovering and wasn't strong enough to take the dog out for exercise, but Lupin knew both Harry and the dog enjoyed it. Lupin would see them out his window, the tall boy and the tall black dog beside him, walking around the lake, or toward Hagrid's hut. Once Lupin even saw Hedwig with them, riding on the dog's back, her white feathers contrasting strikingly with the dog's black hair.

But they all knew it was coming to an end. The school term would begin soon, and the children would be coming back, and they would have to leave.

Harry and Ron were moving in together. Ron had found a flat in London that the two of them could afford. Hermione was planning on living with her parents and Apparating. And Lupin, heart sinking, knew that his days there at Hogwarts, too, were coming to an end, and he would have to return to his cottage. He was still a werewolf, and it was still too dangerous for him to stay. _It's hardest for you and I, Harry_, he thought, _Hogwarts has always been where we've been happiest, and we've never really had any place else_.

x-x-x

Lupin was reading quietly one afternoon in his rooms when he heard a knock on the door, and Dumbledore's voice said, "Remus, may I come in? There's someone I want you to meet." Sev-the-Dog, lying beside him on the sofa, lifted his head and pricked up his ears at the sound of Dumbledore's voice.

"Come in," Lupin said, putting his book down.

Dumbledore came into the room. Behind him, Lupin saw another figure follow him through the doorway. Tall, wearing darkish robes. Lupin was struck by the man's face, there was something very familiar about it, though Lupin would swear he'd never seen the man before. Old - younger than Dumbledore, but old, still - with thinning grey hair. And his face had the stamp of a dark wizard - long, craggy, aquiline nose and fierce eyebrows. _Put a little beard on that face and you'd have the typical stage villain_, Lupin thought.

And then the man smiled. It was as if he were completely transformed into another person - his eyes twinkled almost as brightly as Dumbledore's, his smile was open and genuine, the fierce eyebrows looked almost comical now. As he drew closer, Lupin could see his darkish robes were brown and worn, with comfortable old boots below. The villain was gone, he'd miraculously changed into someone's friendly old grandfather.

"Remus," Dumbledore said as the man reached them, "I'd like you to meet Healer Reginald Guilford. Reggie, this is Professor Remus Lupin."

"Albus has told me a great deal about you," Healer Guilford said as he sat down, "and your friend here." He nodded at the dog. Sev-the-Dog looked up at him.

Lupin looked sharply at Dumbledore.

"Healer Guilford is a psychological healer," Dumbledore said. "He practices at St. Mungo's, but he also works privately with special cases, similar to Severus's."

Lupin looked back at Healer Guilford, who smiled at him. "I have a personal interest in these kinds of cases. My family - you've noticed my face, I'm sure."

"I confess, it looks familiar," Lupin said. "Although I'm sure we've never met before."

"No, never," nodded Healer Guilford. He smiled, a little sadly. "I took my mother's family name, but my father's family name is Grindelwald."

"Oh, my," was all Lupin could think of saying. Of course he'd seen that face, in so many history books. "Please forgive me."

"Nothing to forgive," Healer Guilford said, "Perfectly understandable. My mother got me away from my father's family in time, but I am stuck with my face. And I watched many of my cousins turn towards the dark - worthy people who I cared about. Hence my personal interest in these kinds of situations." He looked down at Sev-the-Dog. "Absolutely brilliant idea, you know, turning him into a dog." He held out his hand. Sev-the-Dog sniffed it, then ducked his head. Healer Guilford ran his hand along it, and rubbed behind the dog's ears.

"I can't take all the credit, it was, um, sort of a group project," Lupin said.

"I'd like to try it with some of my own patients. There are a few I've thought were beyond any help, but this gives me hope." Healer Guilford ran his hand under the dog's chin and lifted its head, staring into the black eyes. "Do you think you could talk to me?" Healer Guilford said to the dog. "You have a long road ahead of you still, and it is not an easy one. But I'd like to help you, if you'll let me."

Sev-the-Dog looked back at him, and Lupin saw him give a wave of his tail.

"Albus says it's about time for him to change back," Lupin said, glancing at Dumbledore.

Healer Guilford nodded. "I'll be ready for him, when he does. But he'll need you as well." He looked at Lupin.

Lupin smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."

Healer Guilford smiled back. "He must be a good man, to have a friend like you." He nodded his head. "Good and true friends are worth more than all the therapists in the world."

x-x-x

The last day came. Lupin, Harry, and Sev-the-Dog had breakfast together one final time in Lupin's rooms, with Dobby popping in and out, bringing them treats from the kitchens. Lupin knew that, later, other House Elves would quietly pack Lupin's things and move them back to his cottage, but everything of his was still there, it was still his home, for this last morning.

When they couldn't eat any more, Lupin walked with Harry down the corridor, past the Great Hall, and through the main doors to the courtyard, and then down the path to Hogsmeade, where Harry would Apparate to London.

They reached the main gates, the same gates where, only a few weeks before, they'd been attacked by Bellatrix. Harry stopped, and turned to face Lupin.

"You'll come visit me, in London, won't you," Harry said.

"Of course," Lupin said, "And you'll visit me, too, I hope."

"You couldn't keep me away," Harry said, grinning, and then he said, more quietly, "That is, if it's all right with him." And he nodded at the dog, and then looked at Lupin. His green eyes looked sober. "I know he's got more of a ways to go," Harry said.

Lupin looked down at Sev-the-Dog, who was looking at both of them, with his usual unreadable gaze. Then Lupin looked back at Harry. "I don't know exactly what's going to happen with him," he said.

Harry nodded. "We'll just have to see." He knelt down on the ground, so that his eyes were even with Sev-the-Dog's. "You take care of Professor Lupin, all right?"

Sev-the-Dog looked back at Harry. Harry rubbed the dog's ears, and then he put an arm around the dog's neck. He said something to the dog, quietly, Lupin couldn't make out the words, but he saw Sev-the-Dog press his head against Harry's shoulder.

Then Harry stood up, and he threw his arms around Lupin. The two of them stood there, like that, for a few moments.

And then Harry released him, smiled, and walked through the gates. He turned and gave one last wave, and then he vanished, with a bang.

Lupin and the dog both stood still for a long moment. _It's the end_, he thought, _it's over, and we're all moving on. Harry's never coming back to Hogwarts, he'll have to make a new home now_. And Lupin smiled, and thought, _but he's got Ron and Hermione. He'll have a home with them, wherever they are_.

And then he turned, and he and Sev-the-Dog made their way back along the path to Hogwarts.

As they approached the courtyard, Lupin saw the figure of Dumbledore standing there, and his stomach lurched again. He could feel his steps slowing, until Sev-the-Dog pulled ahead of him, the dog's long legs striding out to reach Dumbledore faster. Dumbledore was patting the dog's head when Lupin reached them.

Dumbledore nodded his head at the dog. "It's time, Remus."

x-x-x

Lupin's cottage had been made ready. The spare room where Severus would be staying was full of furniture and hangings that looked as if they'd come straight from one of the Hogwarts' bedchambers - for all Lupin knew, they may have been the furnishings from Snape's old rooms. Severus's things, those that were left, had been unpacked: his cloak now hung in a wardrobe in one corner, the books he'd left with Lupin were neatly arranged on shelves, and the small chest he'd been carrying that last day sat on the desk, still unopened. Lupin spotted other things there as well, were they Severus's original possessions that had been retrieved, or were they new?

The transformation hadn't been confined to Severus's room, the entire cottage looked almost new. The Hogwarts House Elves had clearly gone through the whole place, cleaning and repairing, even bringing in new things. The larder in the kitchen was full, new crockery was in the cupboards, the entire house no longer looked bare and worn. Lupin had thought about protesting, but he was too tired. And he had more important problems to worry about. _This isn't for me_, he thought, _it's for Severus_.

The three of them stood in Lupin's spare room: Lupin, Dumbledore, and Sev-the-Dog. It was now early afternoon. They had eaten lunch together in the Hogwarts Great Hall - _as much so that Severus would only have to face a short day once he'd changed back_, Lupin thought, _as to give Lupin a little more time at Hogwarts_.

Dumbledore took a deep breath, and Lupin said quickly, "Let me have a last minute with him, like this."

Dumbledore nodded his head, and Lupin knelt down on the floor, and looked into Sev-the-Dog's black eyes. He stroked the dog's head. "I'll be glad to see you again, I've missed your voice and your words. But I'll also miss being able to rub your head like this. We don't touch each other, when we're human. You won't remember this, but I will."

Sev-the-Dog leaned forward, and Lupin found himself embracing the dog's neck, just as Harry had done that morning. The dog's hair was silky, like Hermione had said, it wasn't greasy and stringy now, and he could feel the whipcord muscles beneath.

Then he forced himself to stand up. Dumbledore was smiling sadly at them both.

"Come, then," Dumbledore said to the dog, "Up on the bed and lay down."

Sev-the-Dog was on the bed in a single, graceful jump. He settled himself down and then he turned to look at Dumbledore questioningly.

Dumbledore stepped beside the bed where Sev-the-Dog lay, and he raised one hand, extending his fingers, placing his hand on Sev-the-Dog's head. Sev-the-Dog's eyes closed and his head slid down onto the pillow.

Dumbledore's arms fell to his sides, and he closed his eyes.

Sev-the-Dog's form began to blur, and then to flow like water. His nose pulled back into his face, his legs pulled in, and then drew out again, stretching out along the bed, the silky hair began to weave together and become cloth, long black robes covering pale limbs.

But then the movement along his body became agitated, the robes rippling and growing into the body like hair again. The human face drew out into a snout, the human legs twisted and writhed, knees and ankles, elbows and wrists, flowing back and forth along the limbs.

Dumbledore opened his eyes in alarm.

"What's happening?" Lupin said.

"He's fighting me," Dumbledore said, "He's fighting the change." He raised his arms, and Lupin could make out a faint glow around him. The glow slowly flowed from him out over the bed, covering the rippling form like a translucent blanket. The form grew calmer, and the human shape began to reinstate itself, but then it began to jerk violently. A human arm broke through, fingers extended, that suddenly drew back into the hand to form short toes and claws, the robe rippling forward to cover the newly formed paw with hair.

Dumbledore thrust his arms out over his head and he called out a word that Lupin could not make out, and instantly, the form was still. And then it molded into human limbs and body, and became truly that of a man, in long black robes, lying nearly face down on the bed. Lupin felt a pang as he made out Snape's features, what little he could see of them beneath the familiar curtain of black hair, eyes closed as if in sleep.

"Is he all right?" Lupin asked, moving closer to the bed. Snape was breathing heavily, Lupin could see his chest rise and fall.

"I don't know," Dumbledore said, "He was fighting me the whole time. We'll have to see." He bent closer beside Lupin.

Snape's hands were clenched, and his entire face was screwed tight. Lupin could hear a gasping sound from his mouth. Lupin knelt down on the floor so that his face was level with Snape's.

"He's trying to say something," Lupin said, and moved closer. Dumbledore bent down so that his head was nearly as low as Lupin's.

The sound was no more than a harsh whisper. Lupin couldn't make out the words. Snape gasped, breathing hard, and spoke again, and this time Lupin heard, in a voice like a sob, "Change me back."

Lupin looked in horror at Dumbledore. Snape wasn't supposed to remember! Dumbledore looked back at Lupin, equally alarmed.

"Severus," Dumbledore said.

"Change me back." Snape's voice was stronger now, though his face was still screwed up tight, the words were spat out through clenched teeth.

Dumbledore and Lupin looked at each other again.

"Severus," Dumbledore said again, and he placed a hand on Snape's shoulder.

Snape jerked away from him, flailing an arm. He crouched on the bed, still breathing hard, looking for all the world like the dog he'd just been, crouching and shivering on the sofa at Hogwarts'. Lupin half expected his lips to curl up and show fangs.

"Change me back!" he said again.

And the edges of his body began to blur, and his nose began to lengthen.

Dumbledore raised his arms and Snape's form instantly returned.

Snape bowed his head, still crouched on the bed. "Please, Albus." He looked up. "Please. Let me stay a dog. Let me lie at your feet. Let me walk with Remus, and Harry. Please." His voice cracked with the last word, and he dropped his head again. His entire body was shaking.

"I suspect," Dumbledore said, very gently, "that you will be able to change into a dog at will, that you are an Animagus now." Snape froze. Dumbledore went on, "But not now. It is time to be human, Severus."

Snape's body shook even more violently, and his head dropped until it nearly touched the bed. "Get out," he said.

Lupin took a step toward the bed, but Dumbledore stopped him with a hand.

"Leave us for now, Remus," Dumbledore said. "I will stay with him, for a little while."

Lupin looked at them, Snape, breathing hard and shaking as he crouched on the bed, and, beside him, Dumbledore, once again looking old and fragile. Lupin opened his mouth to speak, then shut it, nodded, and left the room, closing the door gently behind him.

x-x-x

It was well over an hour before Lupin heard the spare room door open, and he saw Dumbledore step into the hallway, and close the door behind him. Dumbledore stood still for a moment, then he walked slowly into the sitting room, moving shakily.

"He's resting," Dumbledore said, in answer to Lupin's questioning look. "He needs to be alone now. He has a lot to think about." Dumbledore sat down in a chair by Lupin. He looked drained, and old.

"What are we going to do?" Lupin said. "He remembers. He's got to be furious."

"He is angry, yes," Dumbledore said, "But not as much as you might think. He held on to those memories, not even I could take them from him. They are precious to him."

They were both silent. Dumbledore seemed to look into space, unseeing. Lupin found himself staring at Dumbledore's hands. How thin his fingers looked, how transparent the skin was, how fragile. _Another burden we place on his shoulders_.

"What happens now?" Lupin finally said, breaking the silence.

"He has agreed to see Healer Guilford." Dumbledore spoke very slowly. "He agrees that ending his own life is not the answer. He believes, better than I could have ever hoped, that he has a chance at healing. He may never be entirely whole, his wounds run deep and there will probably always be scars, but he has seen that he can be happy."

Lupin closed his eyes, feeling the myriad of emotions that welled inside him – hope, anguish, sorrow, relief, fear.

"Reggie Guilford was right," Dumbledore said, "he does have a long road ahead of him, and it is not an easy one. He will need you, more than ever before."

Lupin managed to smile. "I'll be here, as long as he needs me."

Dumbledore smiled back. "I couldn't ask for anyone better."

x-x-x

Lupin came through his front door, stopping for a moment as the warmth hit him, a sharp change from the chilly autumn air outside. He looked around the sitting room, but it was empty, and the house felt still. Snape was with Healer Guilford today, and apparently wasn't back yet.

Lupin took his shopping bag into the kitchen, wondering what mood Snape would be in today when he came back. Lupin had seen pretty much everything by now, from vindictive rages to absolute quiet, depending on how the session had gone.

He began to put things away, checking the kitchen over as he did so. The Hogwarts House Elves were still stocking the larder, and they were cleaning, too. And over in the corner, the stock of the special Potion that Healer Guilford had prescribed for Snape was fully replenished. Snape was quite capable of making it himself, but he was not to brew his own Potions for now.

And then Lupin heard the front door open and shut. _He's back_, Lupin thought. What would it be today? The rages were bad, but the silences were even worse.

He stepped into the sitting room from the kitchen, and stopped still. Oh, yes, it had been a bad session today.

Snape was practically dripping in grease. Along his hair, his face, his nose. His robes hung lank against his body. His face looked at least ten years older, and his eyes were red and sunken. He blinked at Lupin, too exhausted and spent to even manage a glare.

Lupin gave a gentle smile. "You go on to the shower now. I'll make some tea."

Snape started back towards the hallway, his usual stalk more of a stagger.

"If you put your robes out, I can get them washed for you tonight," Lupin called out after him.

He heard doors open and shut in back. Then water running. Lupin got the tea things ready, and brought the pot and two cups out into the sitting room, placing them on the coffee table, then he sat down on the sofa.

The water had stopped by then, and the house was quiet. _Was everything all right_, Lupin wondered.

And then he saw movement in the hallway. He looked up, expecting to see Snape come into the room.

Instead, there was Sev-the-Dog, standing hesitantly in the doorway. He looked bedraggled, his hair, though washed, was still lank. He looked at Lupin with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen on him.

Lupin frowned for a moment. Snape was under strict orders from Dumbledore not to change until Dumbledore himself gave his permission, and this was the first time Lupin had seen him in this shape since the day they'd brought him back to the cottage.

Lupin opened his mouth, then stopped. Sev-the-Dog's eyes grew even sadder, pleading, and his tail thumped once against the doorframe.

Lupin shook his head. "All right, just for tonight," he said, and he patted the sofa cushion beside him.

Sev-the-Dog came over, jumped onto the sofa, and curled up beside Lupin.

Lupin picked up a book, and began to read. And, within a few minutes, his hand moved over, and began rubbing the dog's ears.

THE END

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone for all the reviews! If you liked this one, I am currently working on a sequel, Home's the Farthest Way, which you can find here on my main page. 


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